Kim Namjoon POV
October 2, 2019,
"Aargghh... not like this, it doesn't feel right", I said frustratedly to myself
I was at my studio -Rkive- working on new songs for our new album. I've been working on this song since we were on vacation to New Zealand but it's not finished yet till now. I looked at my watch, it's 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I promised to meet Suga and talk about our unit song.
I stretched my body and turned off my computer. I turn on my cell phone screen, not a single message comes. I took a deep breath. It's been two days since last messages from Sora. Last time we exchanged messages, I said that I was busy with dance practices because there are still a few concerts that we will have this month. Sora said that she always support me and will not disturb my schedules.
Usually, we always exchange messages every day, asking about the news or activities each other is doing or even telling trivial things that we have seen or felt. I really miss her. Sometimes I can't concentrate on my job because I wonder what is she doing right now, is she okay, has she eaten, and so on.
"Kim Sora ssi .. how are you? What are you doing?", I write my message briefly
I waited for a few minutes but there was no reply from her. Finally I decided to go see Suga at his studio.
* piiiiiip
I pressed the doorbell of the Genius Lab, Suga's studio. He opened the door to his studio and ushered me in.
"Hyung.. sorry I'm late", I said while sitting on the couch
"Ye gwaenchana. You look tired", replied Suga while sitting beside me
"A little. I haven't been able to sleep these few days. I keep thinking about the song. I feel stuck," I replied, rubbing my face
"Namjoon~aah ... don't push yourself too hard, inspiration will come sooner or later", he said as he patted my shoulder
"Ne hyung", I replied
"You've written a lot of songs before. just relax. Or maybe there is something else you think about?", Asked Suga looking at me. I took a deep breath. Should I tell him?
* tring
"Wait a moment hyung .. ", I said while taking my cellphone and read the incoming message
"Annyeong oppa. I'm fine, how about you? As usual I'm in Minerva, listing the books that just arrived. Have you finished your practice? Have a nice day ... stay healthy, okay?. Fighting!", a message from Sora
I smiled at my cellphone screen. I feel my mood is getting better after reading this message.
"Namjoonie..why are you smiling yourself? Are you in love?" Asked Suga, smiling seeing me
"Hyuung, I want to tell you something. Can you give me some advice?", I asked him
"Ne. Tell me," said Suga
"I like someone, hyung. She is an ordinary woman, ani (no), I mean she is not a public figure. She is an extraordinary woman, of course", I said smiling at the thought of Sora's face
"Then?", Asked Suga again
"I want to confess my feelings to her, but I'm afraid that our relationship will not work. You know how our schedule is, It's crazy. And I'm also worried if the media or ARMY know about my relationship. I don't know what their responses will be. which is my worry, hyung. I don't know what to do ", I said desperately
"Namjoon~aah, you really like that woman so much, don't you?... Our Namjoonie has grown up ...", said Suga, chuckling
"I think you should follow your heart. Do what makes yourself happy. Live happily, don't think about people's negative comments. We've learned about it before, right?" Said Suga again
I just sat quietly listening to his words.
"About our schedule, if you are serious about your relationship with her, you will definitely find a way. Wouldn't it be more fun if there's someone cheered you on all the time? And I really believe that ARMY will support your relationship like they support our careers. They will understand that you -or us- are human just like them, who want to have a partner and will get married one day ", said Suga looking at me
"Ye hyung ... I really hope that", I said nodding my head. "But what if there are ARMYs who don't like her and give negative comments about her?? I don't want her to get hurt and sad about it", I said again
"Namjoon~aah ... it will definitely be like that at first, we can't make everyone like us, right? But we can change the minds of the antis after they see our hard work. Same thing with your relationship. There must be someone who doesn't like it and doesn't approve of your relationship. Therefore, it's your job to protect her and convince ARMY to support your relationship", Suga explained in a serious tone
"If ARMYs see that you are happy with her, they will definitely accept your decision and will support you", he continued again
"ye hyung ... you're right", I said a little relieved and smiled at him
"Live your life happily, Namjoon .. because that's the most important thing", said Suga while patting my shoulder
"Ne..I will definitely do it. Kamsahamnida hyung", I replied
I felt the burden on my heart lessen a little. Yes..what Suga said is right . If I'm happy, I'm sure ARMY will be happy for me too.
"So what about our unit song? Should we do it now or next time? Because I'm finishing the song for my mixtape right now", said Suga getting up from the couch to his desk
"Your mixtape is almost finished huh?", I asked
"Yeah. Oh, can I ask your help? I've finished a song but I think there's something missing, maybe you can help me write the lyrics in English?", Said Suga looking at me from his desk
"Sure. Please send me the guide version. I'll try to write it down". I answered excitedly
"Fine, I'll send it to you soon", replied Suga while fiddling with his computer
"What kind of topic do you want? And is there a melody?", I asked again
"Mmm..actually I'm not sure about that either haha ... but try to write something down", he replied chuckling as he looked at me
"Huh?", I asked, laughing too
That afternoon we continued our conversation about the songs that we will include in our next album. It's great to be able to exchange thoughts and opinions with Suga. In the evening we held a meeting with management to discuss our concert in riyadh and the final concert in Seoul. We got home at midnight, and we went straight to our rooms to rest. I turned on my cellphone screen and started writing messages for Sora.
"Anyyeong Sora ssi .. maybe you are asleep at this time. I want to tell you something. Do you have time tomorrow night? I really want to meet you. Let me know...have a sweet dream", I send my message to Sora
I turned off the cell phone and stared at the ceiling of my room. I hope my decision is right .... I prayed in my heart.