Kim Namjoon POV
We headed to her apartment by car, indeed it was very close to the restaurant earlier. I glanced at Sora who was still silent and blushed behind the wheel of the car.
"Are you good at cooking?", I asked to break the silent
"I can cook, but not really good. I can only cook food that Koreans usually eat everyday at home. I lived away from my parents when I was 19, so I had to be able to take care of myself", she replied
I nodded. Sora parked her car in the basement, so we didn't need to get rained. We headed for the elevator and Sora pressed the number five button.
"Is it okay, you invite strangers to your apartment?", I asked rather awkwardly
"No, I think you're not a stranger, we're friend, right?", she said, smiling
The elevator door is open, there are only 4 apartment doors here. 501-504. Kim Sora headed for door number 2 on the right, 502. She entered the password on the door handle and the door opened.
"Welcome to my home, oppa," said Sora, blushing
"Ne ...kamsahamnida", I said as I entered her apartment
This apartment is not too big and not small either. All the furniture is minimalist and neatly arranged. There is a small kitchen to my left, then there is a dining table for four and a living room with a large TV, and a piano and guitar in the far left corner near the door to the balcony. While on my right there is a bathroom, laundry room and a bedroom.
"Mmm ... sorry, it's small," said Sora while biting her lower lip
"No, your apartment is very comfortable, feels like home," I said smiling at her
I took off my wet shoes and socks, and replaced them with slippers. Sora invited me to sit on the living room sofa.
"Do you want to drink something, oppa?", asked Sora
"Yes please", I replied
She returned carrying a can of cola for me, and turned on the tv in front of us.
"I will change my clothes and then cook Kimchi jjigae, please wait a moment," said Sora, moving from the sofa to her bedroom.
"Ne", I said while gulping down my cola
I searched for interesting tv show with a remote, and started watching discovery channel broadcasts. I saw Sora coming out of her room wearing a black midi culottes pants and a yellow shirt with a disney character. She tied her hair into a beautiful bun. She was very beautiful with simple clothes and without makeup.
"I will start cooking", she told me
"Ne, can I go to the bathroom?", I asked, standing up
"Ne, the bathroom is there", said Sora, pointing to the bathroom
I headed to the bathroom in the corner of the room. I washed my face, hands and feet. I smiled looking at myself in the mirror. This is my first time at a woman's house. My heart is still beating fast but I feel very comfortable being here. Like being at home. It's great to be able to spend all day doing the things you like and go home to have dinner with someone you like. I frowned, surprised by what I was thinking. "With someone you like?", I asked myself. I shook my head while laughing, I must be exhausted, so I thought of something strange. I dry my face with a clean towel on the sink table and out of the bathroom.
I saw Sora humming while chopping something on the kitchen table. The kimchi jjigae starts to smell good.
"Can I help you?", I asked, approaching her
"No, thanks...it's almost done", she said smiling
"Waah daebak ya! Massigettda (looks delicious)", I said staring at the pot filled with kimchi and pork stew
In the other pan, Sora grilled seasoned chicken fillets. The aroma of this dish makes my stomach growl even more.
"I'll help you set the table then," I said excitedly
I arranged the plates, cutlery and glasses that Sora had provided on the table. Then pour water into the glass. Sora brought the cooking pot to the center of the dining table. Then lay a plate of grilled chicken, radish kimci, sauteed green vegetables and an omelette around the pan.
"Waah daebak! This is incredible," I said stunned
"This is for you, let's eat. I'm very hungry", she said while giving me a bowl of warm rice
"Kim Sora ssi ... thank you for the food," I said while sitting in front of her
"Wooaahh! This is really good," I say, widened my eyes after trying one spoonful of her kimci jjigae
"Is it really that good? I'm happy if you like it. Please, eat a lot", she said with a happy smile while giving a piece of grilled chicken to my bowl.
We really enjoyed this dinner. Apart from being hungry, the cold weather outside made us eat more deliciously. In less than 15 minutes the food in front of us was gone.
"Do you like cooking oppa?", Asked Sora
"No, haha ... usually the one in charge of cooking at our residence is Jin hyung or Suga hyung. Their cooking are very good. The members will be worried if I help cooking in the kitchen", I said laughing
"Wae (why)?", she asked again
"They are afraid of an accident if I cook," I answered blushed
She laughed at my answer.
"Your friendship is very extraordinary, oppa. Not many groups are able to survive and have a solid teamwork", she said solemnly
"Gomawo", I replied after gulping down some water. "You must know our struggle, right? In the first years of our debut, we are still very stubborn. There are always conflicts and arguments everyday. But I'm grateful as time goes by, we can begin to accept each other", I explained, looking into her eyes
"It must be very difficult to be a leader in those days, huh?", she asked, looking at me while leaning on her chin
"Ne. Very very difficult. I have to unite 7 people with different backgrounds, different personality, different attitudes and different mindsets. Not to mention having to convey the wishes of the company to other members or vice versa", I explained
"There are times when I almost gave up. As you know, there are two hyungs above me, Jin hyung and Suga hyung. Both of these people have very opposite personality. I have to be careful dealing with them. I must respect them as my hyungs and also must embrace and be firm as a leader", I told Sora
"Yes, you're right oppa ... you are in a unique position," she said sympathetically
"We are aware of all the problems and the solution is communication. Therefore, no matter how tired and exhausted, if there is a problem between us, we must resolve it that day too," I said again
For the first time I felt comfortable being able to discuss this with someone outside the group. I can tell her everything, everything I like, things I don't like, things that make me happy, things that make me worry, everything. I can tell everything in front of this woman. Sora looks serious listening to my story. Her big, beautiful eyes looked at me softly. Like saying "I understand, you can tell me everything, I will definitely support you".
"Do you guys still fight a lot now?", she asked curiously
"Well, there must be a different opinion. But we've never had a big fight so far. We have a very good understanding of each other's personality. You could say this is the happiest moment in my life and career", I said smiling
"Amazing ... you deserve to be the best boy group in the world. Not only produce good music, but you also give a good influence for everyone", she said sincerely
"We are still proceeding ... we will not reach this point without ARMY's love and support," I replied
"Do all your songs tell about the feelings and things that you experience?", Sora asked, collecting the plates at the dinner table.
"Mostly yes. Writing songs for me is the same as writing a diary. When my mind is full, I can write songs or lyrics in a short amount of time," I said while helping Sora carry the dishes to the sink.
"No, oppa. Let me do it", said Sora trying to stop me from doing the dishes
"Gwaenchana. I'm used to doing this. Even at home, I always get the part to do the dishes because I can't help cooking", I insisted
"Gomawo", she replied. "Do you want to drink beer?", Sora asked, opening the refrigerator
"Ne, gomawo", I replied
She pulled out two cans of beer from the fridge and took them to the living room. After washing the dishes, I took off the rubber gloves then washed my hands and moved towards the sofa. I sat next to her. I am leaning on the sofa and sighed. Very comfortable. I saw Sora still fiddling with the tv remote looking for a channel that would interest her. She found a documentary and began to open her beer can. She gave me the other can and we began to sip the beer.
"Aahh, it's delicious ... after a tiring day", she said, smiling as she closed her eyes
"Today was very nice, thank you," I said, sipping my beer again
"You're welcome oppa ... I really enjoyed it too," she replied, smiling while drinking her beer in several gulps
"Woah ... just slow down ... is your alcohol tolerance very high?", I asked curiously
"Ani (no), I can only finish two cans of beer. If I drink more than that I will vomit all night ," she said with a laugh
"What about Soju ??", I asked again
"It's the worst. 1 shot I'm fine, 2 shot makes my face red, 3 shot and I'm going to faint", she said shaking her head
I laughed at the story.
"What about you? I've heard that your alcohol tolerance level is very high," said Sora looking at me
"No. Suga hyung is the one who has the highest alcohol tolerance in the team. Then Jin hyung, Jimin and I", I replied shyly
"How many cans of beer you can drink before you get drunk?", she asked seriously
"About 3 to 4," I said, nodding. "And I can finish 2 bottles of soju before I feel drunk," I smiled at her
"Wow, daebak ya!", she said amazed. "I really want to be able to drink a lot, especially when I'm stressed", she said while pouting
"Drinking lots of alcohol is not good for your health. Me and the members only drink alcohol when they have a lot of thoughts or when we celebrate something. But usually we will stop before we get drunk," I explained
Sora nodded her head and finished her beer.
"Is that your guitar?", I asked, pointing at the guitar standing beside the piano
"Ne ... that guitar is my 10th birthday gift from my father", she said, looking at the guitar
"Can you play it for me?" I asked, smiling
"Sure", she said
She then moved from the sofa and sat back next to me with the guitar.
"This is my favorite song, Romance de Espana or maybe you know it as Romance de Amor or Romanza", she said smiling at me
Kim Sora began to strum the guitar slowly. Classical melodies sounded beautifully. This music is beautiful, like telling about the love and sadness in it. Her fingers are very good at playing the guitar strings. Her beautiful face became a little dim as if carried away by the rhythm that she played. Very beautiful. I was hypnotized when I looked at her.
"Daebak ya! Daebak!", I said while clapping when Sora ended her guitar playing
"Gomawo yo", she said, blushing
"It's beautiful, you're really amazing," I said, shaking my head
"Ani ... I still have a lot to learn, oppa", she replied
"When did you start playing instruments?", I asked
"Mmm I started to play the piano when I was 5 years old, I often hear my father playing Fur Elise by Beethoven for my mother", she said, remembering
"As for the guitar, I started playing it when I was about eight years old. At that time I attended my father's orchestra performance and there was a female artist who played Recuerdos de La Alhambra or Memories of Alhambra by Francisco Tarrega. I was very fascinated by the music. And after that I learned a lot about classical Spanish guitar. Everything was very beautiful and touching", she explained with sparkling eyes
"You're really talented, you know that,right?", I said looking at her
"Thank you", she replied, smiling shyly
"Can you sing a song with your guitar?", I asked curiously
"oppa, I'm not as good at singing as you are," she said shyly.
"Just a simple song, please?", I said again
"Ok, I'll try it..but please don't laugh at me", she said again
She began to pluck her finger on the guitar strings. I knew the intro of this song. This is Bob Dylan's song, I guessed.
"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love"
"When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I would hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love"
Sora really lives the song. Her guitar playing perfected her singing. Sometimes she closed her eyes, and sometimes we look at each other. I was carried away hearing her song, until I felt goosebumps in amazement.
"I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong"
"I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
And I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love"
She plays the interlude very beautifully. I smiled when our eyes met. I felt something very strong about her. Feelings for her and wanting her in my life. But I know that it is impossible to happen.
"The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet"
"I could make u happy, make ur dreams come true
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of this earth for you
To make you feel my love, oh yes
To make you feel my love"
This time I didn't clap, I sighed and rubbed my face.
"You are truly extraordinary, Kim Sora", I said solemnly. "It really touched me. You are truly amazing," I said sincerely
"Gomawo yo, oppa," she said, smiling while looking into my eyes
I just sat amazed in front of her while watching her face carefully. I saw her sparkling eyes, small nose, blushing cheeks and full lips. I dare my self to lean my body towards her. Our eyes see each other's faces. Slowly the distance between us is getting closer. I can smell the fresh oranges from her body. I felt my heartbeat beating wildly. I'm getting closer. Our nose is almost touching.
* Tring
Sora and I seemed to be pulled back to reality. Sora jumped in surprise, While I immediately pulled my body away from her. We were surprised by the sound of notifications to my cellphone. I searched my cellphone in my pants pocket and read it.
"Ah, my driver has arrived to pick me up," I said nervously
My heart is still pounding really fast. I saw Sora's face turned red. We are not able to look at each other . The atmosphere is very awkward now. I do not know what to do.
"Alright. I'll go home. Eh, Thank you for today, Sora ssi. And also thank you for the dinner. Uh, I ... I will go home now. See you next time," I said nervously, rubbing my nape.
"Ne, oppa .. I'm also grateful for the necklace you gave me. Be careful on the way oppa, have a nice vacation in Ilsan", she answered awkwardly as she walked towards the door of her apartment.
"Arasso..I'm leaving," I say opening the door after wearing my shoes
"Ne ... see you later", she said smiling
Our eyes met only a second, then I stepped out into the elevator. I waved my hand when the elevator door moved closed in front of me. In the elevator I sat limp. What just happened? Did I almost kiss her? I ruffled my hair out of frustration. This can't happen again.
When I reached the ground floor, I went straight to my car. I lay myself on the passenger seat while repeatedly regretting the incident earlier. I just got carried away. How could I do such thing like that?, I asked myself. Well, she is a wonderful woman, beautiful, smart, good at playing music, good at cooking, we like arts, her voice is beautiful, her eyes are beautiful, her hair is beautiful, her lips ... ah stop it!, I scolded myself.
It would have been difficult if we were together. I don't want to make her suffer with my life right now. My schedule is very tight, especially if we are doing a world concert, we could not meet for months. Not to mention the response from fans if our relationship is known to the public. That would be a big scandal. Surely she will receive a lot of criticism and other negative comments. I don't want her life to suffer because of me.
But I want to be with her. The days when we exchanged messages, talked on the phone, and when we spent time together, everything was very amazing. I've never felt happiness like this. The other side of me wants to have her. Want to share my life with her.
"Ah, I must be crazy," I say frustrated
"Is there a problem RM-nim?", Asked my driver worried
"Ah ani ani (no..no)... I'm just tired", I replied shaking my head
I took a deep breath and leaned my head back. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about Kim Sora. But her smiling face always comes to my mind.
Credit song :
Romance de Amor /Romanza
Memories of Alhambra by Fransisco Tarrega
To make you feel my love by Bob Dylan (cover by Adele)