Xi Zirui is not looking forward to meeting his grandfather. The previous dressing downs and talking tos smart vividly in his mind, like a fresh bruise.
All the way towards the Jade Hall, Xi Zirui wonders if the reason why he got into all that trouble wasn't so that his grandfather would pay attention to him.
He doesn't think he would have the emotional maturity to recognize that before his 'lifetime' on the starting point world, and the many other half ones he spent with Han Yu.
He remembers how Han Zhiye would fuss and tug on Xi Zirui's hair whenever he paid any attention to his sister. Even as Xi Zirui gently scolded him, he would keep making a fuss to ensure his attention remained on him and not the more quiet Han Xiu.
Thinking about it now, Xi Zirui thinks his previous behaviour was motivated by the same fear of being neglected.
Not to mention a deep seated desire for Bai Mi's approval, the older sister he was constantly trying to live up to.
