Xi Zirui is forced to endure another hour of painful outdoors photoshoot. Especially, considering that he has to endure Han Yu's satisfied smirk the entire time.
At least he stops trying to cop a feel, Xi Zirui considers that a small victory.
He hates the original Xi Zirui for entering into an agreement with Han Yu and then not being here to suffer his attentions.
"Didi looks a little flustered," Han Yu says, after the photographer calls for a break. "Does he want me to fan him?"
He picks up one of the folding paper fan props the production team laid out on a table to be used in the photoshoot and starts fanning it gently towards Xi Zirui's face.
Xi Zirui bats it away with the back of his hand. "Why are you so determined to get on my nerves today?"
Han Yu's smirk widens. "Didi looks adorable when he's angry, the tails of his eyes become reddened, and his pout is very charming. I noticed it earlier in my trailer."
Unfortunately, that is not the first time Xi Zirui has heard that, and each time it only annoys him more.
He takes the fan from Han Yu's hands and slaps it against the side of his face. "You haven't seem me angry yet, pray you never do."
Xi Zirui knows it's an over the top line, something that wouldn't sound of place in the script of "Evil sect Leader, I'll make you fall in love with me!"
Han Yu does to, and his smirk softens somewhat. He shakes his head before saying, "Didi is funny too. The more I know him, the more I like him."
Xi Zirui frowns. "The feeling isn't mutual," he says, slapping Han Yu with the closed fan one last time before going to talk with the photographer about his idea for the next photos.
He thinks they should involve Han Yu hanging over the side of the bridge while Xi Zirui's looks lovingly down into his eyes. If he slips and falls down into the water, then Xi Zirui has nothing to do with it, and Han Yu will have only his own bad luck to blame.
---
The photographer decides not to follow Xi Zirui's great advice, and he's forced to look like a wilting flower in Han Yu's arms some more, before they can finally move inside for the second part of the soot.
The "sexy" photos.
Xi Zirui shudders at the thought alone.
He shudders even more, once the production assistants and stylists descend on him like a pack of magpies, armed with shining objects and what looks like a li of red fabric.
When all is said and done, he's dressed in something that looks suspiciously like a wedding robe, complete with embroidered soaring phoenixes, and a matching gold crown and hairpins that combined with the weight of his wig make him feel as if he's wearing a helmet.
One of the assistants has to help him walk towards the set because he can't even move his head properly or navigate the long train of red fabric behind him.
He's led to what looks like a nuptial chamber, already appointed in matching tones of red.
The robes were enough of a giveaway, but the set just confirms his worst fears.
They're doing the wedding night photoshoot.
The wedding being the culmination of Xiu Xianren's and Hai Yaomei's terrible, awful, trope-filled romance, as his late-night binge reading of the source material informed him.
Han Yu is already sprawling on the bed, one knee artfully bent, wearing a matching red robe.
His eyes positively light up when Xi Zirui walks in looking like someone on the losing end of a high-stakes bet.
Of course he can't help rubbing it in.
He raises one hand to his chest and sighs dramatically. "Didi looks so beautiful. How many people have lived and died without ever being in the presence of someone so alluring?"
Immediately a few of the people in the production crew start giggling and cooing, as if they have never heard anything sweeter.
To his dismay, Xi Zirui notices some of them are typing furiously on their phones.
He's sure Han Yu's cheesy declaration will be making the rounds on weibo within minutes.
Han Yu is probably counting on it, the absolute bastard.
"Han laoshi please lean back on the bed with your legs spread, Xi laoshi, climb up between his legs and put one arm on his shoulder and another on his chest," the photographer says, gesturing with a huge camera in hand.
Xi Zirui hates being an actor, he absolutely hates it. He doesn't want to go through any of this shit.
Just then, as he's thinking of faking a stomach ache to put an end to the whole thing, Ni Ni's ominous metallic chime sounds.
"Plot relevant event! Host must go through with the photoshoot as the pictures will be important promotional material for the drama! Failing the mission will result in loosing all reputation points and will lead to Host's immediate death."
'Fuck you too, Ni Ni,' Xi Zirui thinks in the privacy of his mind, which apparently isn't all that private since his system can seemingly read it.
Han Yu is eyeing at Xi Zirui from the bed, his long neck thrown back in an obvious challenge, sprawling like an arrogant young master.
The sprawl of his long legs, with the robe stretched between each knee, gives Xi Zirui an idea.
He makes his way towards the bed, and just as instructed, supports himself on Han Yu's shoulder, who smirks.
Xi Zirui's returns his smugness with a smirk of his own, and brings his knee up into the bed, pressing down hard against Han Yu's tender bits.
He watches with undisguised glee as Han Yu's eyes widen and he lets out an almost imperceptible hiss.
Xi Zirui puts on a beatific smile and runs one hand up his neck and into his wig, digging his fingers in and pulling it to the side.
He fists his other hand in Han Yu's collar and pulls it down to the side revealing a strip of toned chest.
"Very bold! Keep that energy, Xi laoshi," the photographer says, Xi Zirui can hear the shutter clicking away rapidly.
Han Yu is struggling to look composed in the face of Xi Zirui's knee digging into his privates, but Xi Zirui doesn't think he has learned his lesson yet.
He brings his face close to his neck, so that from the camera's view it will seem that he's angling for a kiss, and whispers against Han Yu's heated skin. "Has gege had enough, yet?"
Han Yu chokes, and Xi Zirui's smile grows.
He doesn't know what comes over him, why Han Yu gets under his skin like this, why it makes him want to push back, instead of avoiding confrontation like he always does.
But he can't deny the thrill that runs through him at the frantic look in Han Yu's eyes.
Ah, this must be the feeling of having a mortal enemy, a rival.
Xi Zirui thought this sort of thing only happened in video games, but maybe the Transmigrator 4000 thousand has something going for it.
Because as much as it irks him when Han Yu tries to get one over him, there's nothing quite like putting him in his place right after.
He shifts his weight around and sits down on Han Yu's thigh, but he keeps his knee firmly planted, like a knife pointed at Han Yu's neck.
He lays his head on Han Yu shoulder, and looks directly into the camera, bringing his index finger to his mouth to pull down on his lower lip.
There, he must look stupid and fuckable now, that's what this is all about anyway, right?
The shutter stops clicking. "Not quite so coquettish, Xi laoshi. Don't look directly into the camera, this moment is between the two of you. It shouldn't look like you're trying to seduce anyone but Han laoshi."
Xi Zirui can feel his cheeks heat up at the photographer's words.
If he wants to pretend this photoshoot is meant to do anything besides convincing people that Han Yu and Xi Zirui are good looking and that they should throw money at them for it, then he chose the wrong field. He should have become a nature photographer instead.
But now Xi Zirui's confidence is shaken, and like a shark scenting blood in the water Han Yu sees an opening.
He wraps both hands around Xi Zirui's waist and flips him down on the bed in a single fluid motion.
Xi Zirui watches as he looms above him on his hands and knees.
"Amazing," the photographer shouts, shutter clicking away. "Hold that position, maybe part the front of his robes a little."
Oh so, Xi Zirui was acting too coquettish, but whatever Han Yu is doing now is fine?
Han Yu has no problem following his advice, and slips one hand inside Xi Zirui's collar, making him shiver at the touch of his long fingers.
He digs his fingers in the collar and wrenches it violently to the side, exposing one of Xi Zirui's nipples and making him gasp.
Xi Zirui can feel his nipple hardening in the cool air of the room. It mortifies him, and he turns his face to the side, to avoid looking into Han Yu's eyes, gazing with open interest at his stiff nipple.
"We can't show nipples in the final photos," the photographer warns, lowering his camera. "We don't want to cross over from erotic into vulgar."
Ah, good to know that the difference is a single nipple.
Xi Zirui is going to look up the photographer later and leave an anonymous bad review on whichever of his websites he can find.
"I understand," Han Yu says, his smirk a threat. He slides his hand over Xi Zirui's nipple and covers it with his palm. "Now no one can see it."
That's apparently good enough for the photographer, because he resumes taking photos.
Xi Zirui can only glare at Han Yu from his position beneath him. "What do you think you're doing?" he hisses, between clenched teeth.
Han Yu's sharp features soften into the picture of innocence. "I'm just protecting didi's modesty."
For someone with such refined and elegant features, Han Yu is no better than a common street ruffian. No one who saw his photos, or watched his dramas could possibly imagine how someone who looked so haughty could stoop so low.
Maybe Xi Zirui would be handling the whole thing better if Han Yu's smooth palm rubbing over his sensitive nipple wasn't sending electric sparks down his spine.
Han Yu notices his discomfort, and his expression grows concerned even as his eyes sharpen in understanding. "Didi looks red, is he feeling hot?"
Xi Zirui is saved from having to answer by the photographer. "Let's change positions, now." Perhaps Xi Zirui's review will only be middling instead of damningly scathing. "Xi laoshi, sit on Han laoshi's lap, legs around his waist."
Nevermind, scathing it is.
Han Yu helps him up with a self-satisfied smirk. Xi Zirui bats his hand away as soon as he sits up.
Han Yu positions himself in the bed and has the audacity to pat his lap invitingly. Xi Zirui gathers what little composure he still has left and settles himself on his lap.
From the corner of his eye he notices Han Yu swallowing dryly.
Interesting.
Xi Zirui squirms around in his lap, and feels something hard poke him in the back.
When he next looks Han Yu in the eye, he's no longer smirking. "Gege must be really pent up, did touching my nipple leave him like this?"
---
gege- ge means older brother, repeating the character makes it sound cuter/flirty (if the two people aren't actual siblings)
didi - di means younger brother, same deal as above