Sammy took the bag of cherries from the vendor as he finally decided to tell Ashli about Colby. He'd been thinking about as they wandered around the open market, pausing to look at the different vendor booths as well as purchase the different berries they wanted for the scones. "Can we talk," he started, reaching out and touching Ashli's arm lightly. "I'm tired, and I have something I want to tell you."
"Want to go sit at the little cafe?" Ashli pointed a bit further down the market street, grinning at Sammy. "There's a new barista you may like."
"Not really in the mood right now." Sammy sighed, and the two walked down the street, sitting at one of the outside tables. Ashli went inside to get them each something to drink, and came back with a tea for Sammy, as well as a coffee and muffin for herself. Shifting in his chair, Sammy wrapped both hands around his to-go cup, and took a deep breath. "I saw Colby today."
Ashli's eyes went wide as she took a bite of her muffin. "You what," she asked as she chewed.
"Yeah. I ran into him when I was getting breakfast." Sammy frowned, feeling very weary all of a sudden. When he was younger he could have talked about Colby for hours without growing tired, now it felt like it took effort to just say his name. "Colby's changed. He's not the same person we went to highschool with. I didn't even recognize him."
"And," Ashli prompted quietly, and Sammy knew exactly where she was headed with her question.
"I was just a phase," Sammy mumbled, feeling that same heartbreak all over again. "He asked about you, and wanted to know if you were single. Also wanted your number. I didn't give it to him."
"Thanks." Ashli reached out, resting her hand on Sammy's arm. "Are you okay, though? I know how much you really liked Colby in high school. His rejection, though from a long time ago, has got to hurt."
"It's made me realize I want to maybe go find a boyfriend. I think some part of me was holding out for Colby, but that's clearly not an option anymore." Sammy shrugged, and took a sip of his tea. "I don't think it ever really was an option, honestly. Just some crazy fantasy of a teenager."
Ashli squeezed Sammy's arm in an attempt to comfort him, and Sammy looked up to see a sad smile. "You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. It's not like it matters anyway. I don't have time for a boyfriend, even if I found one. I work too much." Taking a deep breath, Sammy leaned back in his seat, and closed his eyes. He felt exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to go home and sleep. There was still a little shopping left to do, but Sammy was already dreading it. "I have a question," he started, not even bothering to open his eyes. It felt good to rest a little.
"What is it," Ashli asked.
"How much money do you have saved up?"
"Weird question. I don't know, why? Everything okay?"
"No, actually." Sammy opened his eyes as he heard Ashli rustling through the bags before she pulled out the cherries. "Those are for the scones," he pointed out. "I'm really tired. I was thinking of trying to talk to my boss about a couple days off to get some sleep and re-energize, but I don't want to miss work if we don't have the money to make the bills. I have a little saved up —"
"That's for school."
"I won't be able to go to school if I crash my bike or something, will I? It's worth it to me to take the couple days to sleep and rest if it means I am able to focus better. I feel foggy, like my brain isn't reacting the way it should be."
Sammy met Ashli's eyes and the two looked at one another silently for a minute. Sammy knew Ashli was studying his face, trying to get a read on what could have been wrong with him, and looking to see if he wasn't telling her everything. He didn't know what he could have been leaving out, and he didn't have an answer to what was going on other than just being tired. "I will have to double check," Ashli started. "But I think I have some money left over from that small loan I took out. If not, I can ask Mom and Dad."
"I don't want to ask your parents for money, especially if it's for me to take a vacation. Come on, either we can do it, or I don't do it. It's that simple."
"You do look pretty tired, Sammy." Ashli frowned before popping another cherry into her mouth.
"I feel exhausted. My entire body just feels run down." Sammy picked up his tea to take a sip. "The whole thing with Colby doesn't help."
Ashli huffed and rolled her eyes. "Just forget about him. Speaking of jerks though." Ashli pointed to where both of their phones rested on the table. "Jerkface has been texting me again."
Sammy groaned, pointedly glaring at Ashli. "You are not thinking of getting back together with him again, are you?"
Ashli looked away and shrugged. "I know I shouldn't but I'm lonely, too, just like you."
"What did you literally just say to me? Forget about him, Ashli. You can do so much better than that asshole." Sammy reached out and picked up one of the cherries, holding it between his fingers. "We keep eating these and we will have to get more. Finish your muffin."
"I will, don't worry." Ashli smiled. "And I know, but he keeps texting, and he says he wants to get back together, and it wasn't all bad all the time."
"Just most of it. And let's not forget the part where he hated me."
"He didn't hate you."
"Ashli." Sammy gave her a flat look. "He hated me. Or, if he didn't hate me, he hated the idea of your best friend being a guy."
Ashli shrugged, and picked at her muffin. "I just don't like being alone, Sammy. I'm not like you, I can't do it by myself. How are you not lonely?"
"Who said I wasn't lonely?" Sammy reached out and took Ashli's hand in his own. "Of course I am lonely, Ashli. Being single sucks, you know that, but it's better than being in a shitty relationship, isn't it?"
"I guess so," Ashli mumbled. "I just don't want —"
Sammy's phone ringing cut Ashli off, and he picked it up when he realized it was his work. "Hello," he answered, already knowing what was coming.
"Hey, Sammy, can you come in tonight after all? Same time, I'll explain when you get here."
Sammy took a deep breath, and sighed, his body already responding to the exhaustion he knew was to come. "Yeah, I can, Joey. I will see you in a few hours."
"Thanks, Sammy, you're the best."
"See you in a bit." Sammy set his phone down as his boss hung up, and Ashli was looking at him. "Boss needs me tonight in the end."
"I heard. Let's finish up, and get home so you can take a shower and get ready." Picking up the cherries, Ashli put them back in the bag, and stood up to start collecting their things.
Sammy took a deep breath, realizing just how drained his body felt. "Thanks, Ashli."
***
The one light in the hall flickered as Sammy pushed his bike toward his apartment door. Everyone on their floor had asked the landlord time and time again to change that bulb, but he just wouldn't do it. Sammy and the guys from one of the apartments a few doors down had only been half joking when they talked about breaking it and forcing the change, but then they figured it wouldn't get done and a flickering light was better than no light at all.
Leaning his bike carefully against the wall, Sammy fished his keys out of his backpack and unlocked the door as quietly as he could. Everyone on this floor knew he worked late, knew what his job entailed, but he still tried to keep quiet when he came home at midnight or even later. Closing and locking the door behind him, Sammy rested his bike against the wall, dropped his bag, and took the pizza box from where it was strapped to the back of his bike. Sometimes working at a pizza place had it perks, and tonight was one of those nights. A late evening order that never came to pick up their pizza, the boss had asked Sammy if he'd wanted it after they closed.
Kicking off his shoes, Sammy wandered toward the kitchen, looking to put the pizza in the fridge before heading to bed. As he turned from the fridge, he noticed Ashli asleep at the small dining room table, her school books spread out around her. Sammy frowned. This wasn't the first time he'd come home to find her like this. Her classes were hard, he knew that, but she also needed to make sure she got enough proper sleep. Falling asleep at the dining room table only meant she'd been pushing herself too hard again.
Walking over to her, Sammy ran a hand across her shoulders, leaning down to be closer to her eye level. "Hey, Ashli," he started, keeping his voice low and shaking her slightly. "You need to get up and go into your room. You can't sleep at the table."
Ashli groaned; one of those small, not really awake but getting there noises, before she inhaled deeply and sat up. Blinking at Sammy, she rubbed at her eye. "I did it again, didn't I," she slurred.
"Yeah." Sammy nodded, agreeing with her easily. "Come on, let's get you to bed." Helping Ashli get to her feet, Sammy grabbed her phone and led her down the small hall to her room, only letting go of her shoulders once she was sitting on her bed and the covers had been pulled back. Ashli sat down on the edge of the bed as Sammy plugged her phone in and set it on the nightstand.
With a yawn, she fell over onto her pillow, tucking her legs up off the floor. Sammy pulled the blankets up over her before he stood. Just as he was turning to leave, Ashli spoke. "Wait," she started through a yawn. "Did you ask your boss about a vacation?"
"He said no," Sammy murmured quietly, feeling the same disappointment he had earlier well in his chest once again. "I guess the other delivery guy quit, so it's just me on a bike right now. He said maybe once he hires a new person. Get some sleep, we can talk about it in the morning."
Ashli nodded before she took a deep breath, already beginning to fall back to sleep. "Good night, Sammy."
"Night, Ashli. See you in the morning." Sammy closed the bedroom door behind him, leaving it open just a crack like Ashli always did.
Sighing, Sammy ran a hand through his hair and turned toward his room which was a couple steps further down the hall. Pushing open his door, he flicked on the light before closing the door behind himself. The comforting and familiar sight of his bed made him tired, not fully realizing just how exhausted he really was until that moment, but he figured it was from the long day of hanging out with Ashli at the mall before going to work. Pulling off his shirt, he tossed it into the small laundry basket in the corner and stepped over to his bureau to retrieve a pair of sweatpants to sleep in that night.
Yawning, Sammy headed into the bathroom to take a quick shower before bed. He could feel his body beginning to slow, his movements beginning to become clumsy from how worn out he felt. A hot shower did nothing but make him more tired and he almost tripped as he climbed out of the shower, catching himself on the sink as he swore under his breath. He was a little pissed his boss had told him he couldn't have the time off, but he understood the situation, and his boss had told him they would talk about it once the new person was hired and trained. So, even though it was far away, there was a small light at the end of the tunnel.
With another yawn, Sammy dried off, scrubbing the towel through his hair before wiping it across the fogged bathroom mirror. He took a moment to look at himself in the mirror, frowning at the darkening marks under his eyes. Head swimming, and blinking in an effort to keep himself awake, Sammy again noticed that his reflection seemed to be a moment behind him, almost as if it were struggling to keep up with his movements.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, and when he opened them, his own weary blue eyes stared back at him from inside the wet glass of the mirror. "I must be losing my mind," he muttered to himself as he hung his towel on the rack and pulled on his pants. "Maybe I am getting sick."
Shutting off the bathroom light, Sammy returned to his room where he finished puttering around. He made sure his phone was plugged in and the alarm set, pulled his keys and wallet from his work pants to set on top of the dresser, as well as the envelope full of tip money he'd gathered over the course of the night, before Sammy allowed himself to climb into his bed. With a heavy sigh, he settled himself under the covers and quickly fell asleep.