These past few weeks Seju doesn't know what to feel; she feels uncomfortable with Rohanne but yet feels comfortable at the same time. She keeps on reminding her of Yeonhwa but she knew that the person in front of her is not her best friend. They have different personalities but at the same time have the same habits and interests and on some occasions when Rohanne is doing her rounds alone, Seju notices how she acts and works like Yeonhwa.
And because of those at some nights she dreams of Yeonhwa.
"Grandma, How long have you been coughing?" Seju asked the elderly woman while she was checking the latter's lungs using her stethoscope.
"I-I don't know doc. At least a week now?" The elderly woman said in between her coughs.
"Do you have any trouble breathing sometimes?"
The patient didn't answer her, instead she just coughed louder. She just sighed and removed her stethoscope and placed it around the back of her neck, she picked up the x-ray results and explained the findings.
"If you look at here you can see that you have a bronchial infection. I'll prescribe you a medicine for your cough, but before that are you taking any other medicines, or maintenance medicine?"
"I do have a prescribed medicine from another hospital"
"How long have you been taking that medicine?"
"Around one year already doc"
"Do you happen to know the name of that medicine?"
"I can't clearly remember but the doctors at that hospital told me that it was for my High Blood Pressure"
"I see, Okay" Seju started writing her prescription and then handed the prescription to the elderly woman "Don't forget to take your meds and the meds that I prescribed you okay?" Seju smiled at the elderly woman
"Thank you doc"
She escorted the elderly woman up until outside the hospital.
===
"You should take some rest first Rohanne. You just did a 2 hour operation, you need to breathe some fresh air" Chief Doah said while she and Rohanne were in front of the Nurse's station.
"I still have some rounds to do Sunbae, and it's fine I can still manage" Rohanne said as she was checking the charts of her patients.
"You're still workaholic as ever… When will you learn not to over exert yourself?"
"Says the one who gave me a 36 hour shift on my first day" The blonde laughed at her own joke, but her boss doesn't seem to be enjoying it. "Yeah, like I said that 36 hour shift was necessary, hehe." She added when she saw that Doah wasn't laughing at her joke.
"By the way, have you found what you were looking for?" Doah asked curiously.
"Huh?"
"Don't you remember? When I asked you why you want to work here, you told me that you were looking for someone, you told me they're someone dear to you."
Now that Doah mentioned it Rohanne remembered their conversation over the phone.
"Ahhh, yeah, I didn't even expect to see them earlier than I expected" Rohanne answered as she remembered when she first saw that person when she came back.
"Well good for you" Doah said as she taps Rohanne's shoulder "Anyway I'll be going…" Doah started to walk away from the Nurse's station but she turned around and looked at you "… and take my advice, you're looking paler and paler every passing day" she added and then continued walking.
Rohanne just chuckled at Doah's statement and then she looked at one of the nurses at the nurse's station
"Do I look pale?" Rohanne suddenly asked which made the nurse flinch in surprise from her sudden question.
Rohanne was kind of popular among the nurses and the interns, not just from her talent but also her looks; she's one of those talented and good-looking doctors inside the hospital.
"H-huh?"
Rohanne just looked at them and quirked one of her brow while smiling waiting for their answer
"N-not at all Dr. Baek" One of them answered
She smiled at them and took the patients charts.
"I see" She chuckled as she walk away to do her rounds.
While doing her rounds she can't stop thinking about Seju. She didn't expect to see her earlier than what she anticipated, and as if fate was playing with her, Seju was also working at the same hospital as her. Up until now Seju doesn't have any clue that the Baek Rohanne she knows is her best friend Baek Yeonhwa from Middle School.
Sometimes Rohanne feels like Seju knows that Yeonhwa and she is the same person because of her habits, but the personality she's showing to Seju right now is different from the Yeonhwa Seju knows. Yeonhwa was cold and snobbish as for Rohanne personality, she's Friendly and bubbly a complete 180 degrees change of personality, but sometimes her original personality comes out whenever she's not with Seju.
"… ek"
'Does she really not recognize me?'
"Dr. Baek!"
Rohanne was snapped back to reality when she heard Sejeong's voice
"I'm sorry, what was that Dr. Kim?"
"Nothing, I was just bringing you back to earth" Sejeong said and continued to do her thing.
'Guess I should really take sunbae's words'
Rohanne thought as she was absentmindedly staring at Sejeong, which made the latter flustered.
"W-what are you staring at?"
"Huh? Sorry, were you saying something?" Rohanne said and looked at the patient's charts instead
"Y-you know you should just take a quick walk outside. Chief told me that you just came back from a 2 hour operation" Sejeong said while not batting an eye on Rohanne still flustered that the latter was staring at her earlier.
"Yeah… Yeah I guess you're right" Rohanne said and handed the charts she was holding onto Sejeong
"H-Hey! Wait a sec don't just—" Sejeong called out but Rohanne wasn't listening she just continued walking towards the door
"Take care of my patients for me! Thank you Dr. Kim I owe you! I'll treat you to somewhere sometime!" She said before closing the door.
Sejeong was left inside the ward her jaw hanging open, Rohanne's patients chart on her hands along with hers.
"That damned woman. I didn't say that she should do it right now"
'Talented but an asshole'
She just shook her head and continued doing her work, and the work Rohanne was supposed to do.
Rohanne on the other hand walked around the hospital trying to find the Garden. She's really bad at directions so she asked some of the nurses where it was and she was lead there.
'Finally some fresh air..'
She slowly walked around the garden feeling the warm breeze of the spring air. She automatically smiled when she saw the person who has been occupying her mind lately, soundly sleeping on one of the benches.
She removed her coat and put it over Seju's body. She sat beside the sleeping woman and can't help but feel warm and happy.
She can't help but stare at the beauty beside her.
'How come, that after all those years you still look the same? Still beautiful as ever'
She slowly placed her hand on Seju's cheeks, slowly caressing it, the warmth enveloping her palms.
'I wish it's always like this, just staring at your beautiful face'
"Yeon…hwa…"
She was taken aback when she heard her name.
'Is she dreaming about me?'
A tear escaped from her right eye.
'Is she crying because of me?'
Rohanne can't help herself, with her thumb she carefully wiped the tears that were falling from the sleeping girl's eye. As she looked at the beauty in front of her, a bitter smile formed on her lips.
'Ah… I even promised to myself that I'll never let you cry but here you are crying because of me…'
She chuckled mournfully at the memories she's recalling.
===
September 27, 2007
'Damn, why does this shit have to be today?'
Yeonhwa is in a seminar that the principal sent her. Today was Seju's father's funeral, and she was agitated because she can't attend, she kept looking at her wrist watch.
'When will this damned seminar finish?'
'I'll fucking strangle that principal when i get back to school'
She's cursing the principal in her brain right now for sending her to the seminar when she already told them that she has other plans for today.
Yeonhwa started bouncing her knees, and tapping her fingers, growing impatient. Her eyebrows were furrowed all throughout the seminar, making the people beside her careful not to disturb her or even breathe in front of her.
After a few more hours the seminar was finally finished, she rushed out and immediately hailed a cab, and went directly to the place where the funeral is being held.
She glanced at her wrist watch and saw that she was already late for the ceremony 'Damn I'm late...'
When she arrived at the place the funeral was already finished, people were starting to leave the place.
She was looking around when she saw Seju's mother and siblings.
"Yeonhwa…" Seju's mother hugged Yeonhwa as soon as she saw her.
"I'm sorry for being late Auntie…" She hugged back.
"It's fine… the important thing is you came..." Seju's mother broke the hugged and rested her hands on Yeonhwa's shoulders "Seju's still there… Please take care of my daughter, you and Seungjae, please take good care of her…" Seju's mother was looking at her with pleading eyes.
"I will" Yeonhwa said with determination.
Seju's mother just smiled at her warmly and let Yeonhwa go to see her daughter.
As soon as she saw Seju her heart felt heavy. The girl was sitting on the ground soaking wet from the rain, just blankly staring at her father's grave.
She walked over to her and covered the girl from the pouring rain.
"Airhead…"
She called out, but the girl sitting on the ground didn't even looked at her, instead she heard soft sobs, just hearing those sobs felt like her heart was being torn into tiny pieces.
'Don't cry… It hurts me when you cry like that…'
"You're soaking wet, you'll catch a cold"
She reached out to Seju but even before she can touch the girl she withdrew her hands.
"Seju…" She called with concern and sincerity.
Seju looked up at her tears running down the latter's face. She immediately let go the umbrella she was holding, knelt and hugged Seju from behind, she's not really fond of skinship but it's a different story when it comes to Seju. She can do everything for this woman.
They were both soaking wet from the rain, but she didn't mind one bit, because she feels warm.
"Just let it all out…" She said and hugged the woman tightly
The soft sobs got louder and louder. She felt her heart ache again.
'Just let it all out… because from this day on I won't let a single drop of tear escape your eyes'
"I'll be here to wipe all your tears…"
===
"Where are… you?"
Rohanne was taken aback again by the question that escaped from Seju's lips.
'I'm here in front of you airhead'
She let out a soft chuckle as she continued to softly caress the woman's cheeks
"PAGING DR. BAEK ROHANNE, YOU'RE NEEDED AT THE ER…"
"That's my cue to leave…" She stood up and glanced at Seju one last time.
Before leaving she left her coat and a handkerchief behind.
'She'll need that when she wakes up'
She smiled and walked towards the direction of the ER.
===
"Dr. Park! Dr. Park!" Soah called Seju who was passing by searching for Rohanne to return her coat and handkerchief.
"Soah, what's wrong?"
"The elderly woman that you checked-up yesterday is in the ER!"
"What?" Seju left the coat she was holding and ran towards the ER
Seju saw the EMT that rushed the elderly woman in the ER and ran there immediately
"What happened?"
"Someone saw her in the market coughing up blood so they called an ambulance" The EMT said
Rohanne was passing by when she saw the commotion
"What's going on here?" Rohanne asked as she placed down the chart that she was holding on the nurse's station.
"She's coughing up blood. It looks like hemoptysis, what's suddenly going on?" Seju looked confused
"Soah, please get me a codeine now" Rohanne instructed while they were moving the elderly woman to a hospital bed.
"Yes Dr. Park" Soah immediately get the medicine that Rohanne asked for.
When Soah came back, Rohanne immediately made the elderly woman take the medicine while Seju was checking the elderly woman's breathing and Soah was fixing the dextrose.
"How is it?"
"I can't hear anything"
Seju started to panic; the elderly woman keeps coughing up blood. Rohanne snatched the stethoscope from Seju and checked the elderly woman.
"I can hear something from the left upper lobe. Let's turn her on the right side. Help me"
Soah and Seju immediately helped Rohanne to turn the elderly woman.
"Soah can I have her charts?"
Soah immediately gave the patient's charts to Rohanne
"What medicine was she taking for her heart?" Rohanne asked while checking the patient's charts intently reading it like it was a reviewer.
"When I asked her yesterday she told me she didn't remember what medicine was it. She just told me that she has high blood pressure so I thought that the medicine was just for high blood"
Rohanne placed the chart down and faced the patient
"Excuse me ma'am, what time do you take the medicine that you always take?"
"Around 8 pm, after eating dinner yesterday"
Seju's hands were shaking while she was watching the patient speaking almost out of breath.
"Don't tell me it's a medication error"
When Rohanne said that Both Seju and Soah looked at her, their faces full of concern and shock.
"What? How?"
"Coumadin…"
Seju looked at Rohanne with horror, shock and confusion visible on her face.
'How did I oversee that?'
"her PT was normal yesterday" Seju mumbled but Rohanne still heard it
"Did you just prescribe antibiotics to someone taking Coumadin?"
Rohanne wasn't blaming Seju but to Seju it felt like that. She was shaking blaming herself…
"For now let's take her PT test again… Soah, please get me Vitamin K and FFP"
"Yes Doc" Soah immediately fetch the things Rohanne was asking for.
While still waiting for Soah the patient keeps coughing more blood
"This won't do. She needs embolization. Get the FFP from Soah and then let's transfer her for angiography."
"O-Okay"
Seju immediately ran after Soah and asked her for the FFP that Rohanne was asking for. Her hands were still shaking while handing the FFP to Rohanne.
'How could I say that I'm a doctor if I almost killed a patient…? Just because of my simple mistake?'
After Rohanne fixed the FFP for transfusion she held Seju's hands tightly trying to make her relax. When Seju felt Rohanne's warm hands on hers, she felt a familiar sensation, her shaking gradually stopping. She looked up at Rohanne who was looking at her.
"Relax Seju…" Rohanne casually said that made her regret speaking but still she continued to speak "I'll take care of her. You trust me right?" Rohanne asked while looking at Seju straight in the eyes.
Seju just nodded at Rohanne's question, which made the latter smile.
"Good" Rohanne said as she released Seju's hands.
Seju was taken aback by that, that she unconsciously reached out for Rohanne's hands and held it again. Rohanne looked at her with a confused face but just smiled reassuring her and released her hands again and went ahead to prepare for the patient's angiography.
While waiting Seju was still standing beside the patient, this was the first time she made a medication error.
Seju heard a clacking of heels and she already knew who it was. She saw Doah walking towards her with a furious expression.
"Why did you prescribe the patient with medicine without knowing what other medication she was taking?!" Doah screamed in front of Seju. The interns and nurses watching how Seju was being scolded.
Seju just lowered her head and bowed
"I'm so sorry Chief" Seju said in an almost inaudible voice; her tears starting to well up.
"Let's not blame anyone here Sunbae" Rohanne said in Seju's defense. Seju looked up at Rohanne who was directly looking at Doah.
"Bu—"
"Let's just transfer the patient immediately" Rohanne cut off Doah who was still fuming. "We don't want her dying do we?" Rohanne said in a matter of fact tone.
Doah just gritted her teeth and ordered the interns to transfer the patient; Rohanne took a glance at Seju who was trying to suppress her tears, and she can't help but feel her heart aching once again.
After the patient was transferred, Seju decided that she needs fresh air so she slowly walked and headed to the garden and sat on a bench. As soon as she was seated the tears she was trying to suppress earlier fell.
'How can I forgive myself if that patient had died?'
Seju felt like she murdered a patient.
'How can I call myself a doctor?'
She placed her hands on her face and started sobbing…
'Yeonhwa... I need you...'
"Seju…"
'That voice…'
"Dr. Baek..."
Seju looked up, feeling elated to hear that voice, but she was disappointed when she saw Rohanne with a handkerchief in her hands.
Rohanne knelt in front of Seju making her at eye level. Seju saw concern and care written all over Rohanne's face.
Rohanne offered her handkerchief to Seju but the latter was so busy crying that she didn't see that Rohanne was already offering her a handkerchief. So Rohanne decided to just wipe the tears off of Seju's face.
"Just let it all out…"
Rohanne said while still wiping Seju's tears.
A few more seconds and it started to rain. The two were still in the garden despite the droplets of rain hitting them.
"I'll be here to wipe your tears…"