The next morning, I am a girl on a mission. I wolf down Aunt Lilly's breakfast without chewing and then anxiously wait for the bus with my cousins. If either of them notice my antsy behavior, they don't bother to comment on it. Dylan is busy listening to rock music, which I can hear through his AirPods, and Olly is on his phone.
I take a deep breath and tell myself I'm not overreacting. I know it's not like anyone knows the rumors are about me, but for some reason, knowing Hayden is going around lying hurts me more than I'd like to admit.
It isn't like I thought we were friends or anything. He's just the guy who happens to train me sometimes. But for some reason, after hearing a little bit more about his life, I'd expected more from him than this. I've been convincing myself that the real Hayden is different to this person he portrays himself as. Evidently not.
When the bus pulls up, I take my usual seat next to June. She talks my ear off about some concert she's going to next weekend with her mom, but I'm still so angry and anxious that all I can do is smile and nod.
As soon as we get to school, I follow June to our lockers and throws my things inside. Hayden makes a beeline for his own locker, and I turn and prepare myself to confront him. By the time I think I might go over there, he's already gone.
I slam shut my locker. June turns to face me and raises an eyebrow. "You look kinda mad."
I wave my hand dismissively. "I'm not mad."
"Have you tried telling that to your face?"
I sigh and turn to face her properly. "Have you heard any rumors going around lately?"
She flicks back her hair before pushing it into a pony. "This is LA, Maddison. You're going to have to be more specific."
I mentally cringe when I think about how best to put this. "Have you heard any rumors about Hayden...having sex with some girl he's training?" I force myself to meet her gaze, trying not to look so guilty.
She smiles a little. "Yeah, I heard about that. It doesn't exactly surprise me."
Now it's my turn to raise an eyebrow. "It doesn't? Why not? Do you believe them?"
She shrugs her shoulders. "Yeah, I do. I don't think there's a single girl in this world that Hayden couldn't get if he wanted to."
I scoff at this. "That's not true. He's not even–I mean, he's good looking, sure, but that's all there is."
She laughs and studies my face for a second. "Are you telling me that if you found out Hayden Walker was interested in you, you'd be able to resist his charms?"
"Easily," I say, folding my arms. "Looks have very little impact on whether or not I like a person."
"Well, then you're a lot less superficial than I am," she says, linking her arm through mine. "Come on, we're going to be late for class."
For the whole of English, my eyes stay burned into Hayden Walker's back. I keep replaying in my head how exactly I'm going to confront him. A part of me wants to be brave and march up to him as he stands with his friends. I'll tell him he's a jerk, that he's not as interesting as he thinks he is, and that if he ever spreads rumors about me again, I'll make sure he can never have kids.
When the bell rings, I know it's now or never. Everyone collects their things and heads out, including our teacher. It's only by chance that Hayden is slower to move than usual, and I manage to corner him by the door. When I slam it shut and turn to face him, he raises an eyebrow suggestively.
"I want an explanation," I say.
He steps closer until he's towering over me. When he next speaks, his voice is low and husky. "For what?"
I'm about to take a step back, but then I remember I'm not afraid of him. He should be afraid of me. "For you telling people you're having sex with the girl you're training."
My first instinct is to look at the floor as I say it, but instead I keep my eyes locked on his. I'm tired of people walking all over me, thinking they can get away with it. I'm not just going to stand up for myself physically, I need to do it mentally too.
I think he's almost about to smile, but then he notices my hard expression. "That's what you think," he says, his eyebrows furrowed. "You think I went around telling people we're having sex."
I falter slightly. "Didn't you?"
Now he looks mad. "I don't need to lie about who I have sex with."
"Then who started the rumors?" I ask.
"I don't know, Maddison." He drags out the syllables of my name in annoyance. "A lot of guys who go to my gym know people who go to this school."
I shake my head, still not satisfied with this outcome. "That's it? I tell you people are spreading rumors and that's all you have to say?"
He rolls his eyes as if I'm being dramatic. Maybe I am, but I'm just not used to this kind of thing. Back home, no one ever spread rumors about me, because no one outside of my friends and my boyfriend gave me so much as a second thought.
"Look," Hayden says. "No one knows you're the girl I'm training. Why does it matter?"
"Because it matters," I say. "I come to you to learn how to fight, not to get involved in drama."
If I thought he was mad before, he is definitely mad now. "Look," he says, taking another step closer. "I'm training you as a favor. You're welcome to stop at any time."
"A favor you're getting paid for," I remind him.
The muscle in his jaw pulsates. "Like I said, you're free to stop at any time. Is that what you want?"
My pride is telling me to walk away. To give up my lessons before things get worse, but then I remember my dad knows we're here, and my pride shuts up.
"No," I say quietly.
One of his friends appears in the door and knocks on the glass. Hayden looks over his shoulder, puts up a finger as if to say, one second, and then turns back to face me. "Are we good?"
"Yeah," I say tightly. "Fine," and then I follow him out into the hall and we go our separate ways.
I spend the bus ride home looking out the window in a daze. Somehow, I always end up feeling both better and worse after talking with Hayden, like my mind can't make up how I should be feeling. But it's a relief to know he hasn't been spreading rumors. I can get back to focusing on the one thing this whole thing has always been about: learning to fight back.