I haphazardly tied the apron around my waist, adjusting the size to fit me. Rose awkwardly watched from the corner, her hands on her hips.
"The door looks good." I uttered, equally as awkwardly.
She studied my face, stern eyes and pursed lips making her curiosity obvious.
"Yeah, it does."
She didn't break eye contact with me as she spoke. I became rather uncomfortable, flicking my eyes away forcefully. I grabbed a rag from the sanitization bucket and began to wipe the already-clean tables.
"How did you lose your apron again?"
"I told you, I don't know." I replied, scrubbing the tabletop to sparkling. I caught her eyes, glaring at me unconvincingly.
"How were midterms?"
"Fine."
She slammed her hand on the rag, causing me to stop abruptly. I met her gaze, which was like a predator with prey in its claws.
"Liar."
I felt myself freeze under her stare, as if I was a dog with its tail between it's legs. I averted my eyes once more, but couldn't pull the rag from her grip.
"I got an email that you dropped."
I nearly choked on my own tongue. Letting go of the rag, I twirled around to hide my red face. Then, approached the bar to pretend to inspect the espresso machine.
"Yeah, I did. I wasn't gonna tell anyone yet, but I dropped out."
"Why?" Without missing a beat, she responded with a question.
'If you only knew'
I let out a drawn out sigh, holding myself still not to let the tension show. I felt the tingly sensation and choked it down. I wouldn't let it happen now.
"I'm just taking a break. I'll go back next semester. I think majoring in literature wasn't my best idea." I tried to joke halfheartedly.
'If only there was a course in magic', I thought.
Rose didn't complain, instead going briefly silent. I shifted my body to grab a coffee cup from the shelf and started up the machine. I turned to get the coffee grounds and, as expected, Rose was still staring at me.
I quickly took my eyes away from hers as I measured out the grounds. Her gaze pierced through my thin walls so easily. She always knew when something was off, even when we were kids. I wasn't fooling her.
"We talk every day. And we haven't since my date with Anna… and you come in here, finally, the first thing you do is ask me for an apron?"
I bit my lip as I prepared the espresso and remembered Anna is now spying on the blackbloods across the lake. It was probably best for Rose to stay away from her, to stay safe.
"... how's that going, by the way?" I pried. But when I looked to Rose, she was not in the least bit amused.
"What's going on, Bear? You don't answer my calls, or text me back, then you show up to work with no makeup on, a dirty tee shirt, and just," she gestured to my feet, "you're wearing two different shoes."
I looked down and grimaced. While my right foot held my typical, non-stop work shoes, my left food had a messily laced Chuck Taylor.
I was trying so hard, too hard, to hold it together, but I was quickly losing it.
The electric feeling shot through my legs and I swallowed hard once more.
'No.'
"I've just been tired lately, it's honestly nothing. And I lost my phone so I haven't been getting calls. Okay? Satisfied?...So let's get back to work." I said sternly.
It was unlike Rose to give up so easily, but she stopped there. I didn't know if it was in my head, but I thought I might have gotten through to her.
"...The door does look nice." Rose said abruptly.
I nodded in agreement, finishing up the flat white I had made for myself. It was extremely slow for the time, which made me feel almost normal. As I sipped my coffee, I almost got lost in it.
For a second, the world seemed mundane. Just a part time worker for my sister, a college dropout but at least a boring one.
I could almost forget about everything falling apart around me.
Almost.
"You know, Ian's brother was super nice." Rose began, spraying the prized new door with window cleaner.
"He paid for the repairs and gave me extra to do some local advertisements."
I put down my cup and tapped my fingers on the counter for a moment.
"Yeah Carson, he's pretty nice."
"Oh, when did you meet him? Kinda cute, right? Tall, skinny… seems right up your alley." She joked.
I half-smiled to appease her, lifting my coffee again to my lips. I sipped slowly.
'Carson, yeah. He's tall, he's got that deep voice. But he's also a vampire.
Well, not that I could compare myself anymore… I'm not much better.'
Carson was attractive, definitely. Chiseled jaw like his brother's, beautiful eyes, and the voice was something else.
But the fact was, I had not even once considered taking a second glance at him. Until Rose had mentioned it, I wasn't sure I had even given his look a second thought.
He was nice, yeah. At least, nicer than Ian and a little softer than Jesse, who had a habit of being blunt to an extreme. We had only spoken a few times, though, and knowing what he was…
Not that it really mattered either way. My brain was so far away from romance that I couldn't even consider finding anyone attractive. That was the mundane world, and I was now far, far away from that.
I sighed, clinking the tea plate as I shoved my cup back down. It startled Rose, who nearly jumped and then laughed it off.
"Okay, okay, I was just joking."
"No, it's not that. He's cool I guess. A lot better than his brother." I quickly recovered the situation, so I thought.
Rose raised her brows at me, unconvinced. I shook my head again.
"I mean, Ian is incredibly irritating. Just a few days ago-" I was trying to cover, but it seemed to backfire.
"You talked to Ian?"
I closed my mouth immediately, regretting everything. The buzzing was pooling in my palms within seconds, my shoulders up to my ears in discomfort.
"Well… only because he's with Jesse a lot and-"
"Since when are you hanging out with Jesse anyways? And you're just fine with him tagging along? Like nothing happened?"
"It's not like-"
"It IS like that."
The rest of the shift was unbearable. Rose was understandably upset, and I didn't even have my story straight to try and clear things up.
I was used to having a dysfunctional family, miscommunication, that sort of thing. It might have even comforted me to have some normalcy in my life.
But Rose had been my best friend since we were kids, and while she'd always been the more confrontational out of the two of us, it never stemmed from a lie.
And while I technically wasn't lying, I wasn't being honest about the situation. I hadn't spoken to her, I hadn't explained anything. I mean, how could I?
She couldn't understand.
More importantly, it might put her in danger.
I knew that it would just have to be that way for a while.
While it was tense, I finished the shift and left with Rose shortly behind. She crossed the tracks first and I stopped, watching her walk away. It honestly felt like I'd never see her again. That was more terrifying than anything.
After she drove off, I just breathed for a few minutes, staring at the train tracks with an empty head.
Then, I forced my legs to move. It was like every second was a struggle, and once I was sat in the car, I could relax. At least, more so than around Rose.
I buckled up and put my foot on the brake. As I lit the ignition, something shiny caught my eye. I removed my hand from the shift and squinted at the cafe.
On the side, there was a new bit of grafitti.
I recognized the symbol immediately, pulling out the paper Jesse had given me. I took it from my pocket and uncrumpled it, holding it up to compare.
Sure enough, that's exactly what it was.