Emily's POV :
The bright sun light escaped from my window to and landed directly in my eyes waking me up. I checked my phone as I saw a bunch of texts from Jake, most of them mainly supporting me as a reply of the screenshot I sent last night. Feeling tired I walked out of bed and looked to see if anyone was around, luckily it seemed like mom had gone to work or wherever she was getting minimum wage from. I got dressed to live the same day for the thousandth time except today Jake and I would go out for the first time and maybe I am a little excited about it. If I think about it this is going to be my first "official" date.
[...]
I walked in the corner of the corridors at school in a simple oversized hoodie in hopes that no one would recognize me. At this point I was just here to graduate at the back of my class, before my mind started wandering off I started walking faster till I reached the first class and sat down at the back hoping no one would come to sit beside me and no one did. The first half of the day at school went by fine till lunch, that's when I get out of school and to work.
*at the cafe*
"Thanks Jenny" I said as I held the 5 euros in my hand that Jenny just paid back
"No thank you, you were great yesterday" she said with a happy smile
"Oh and thanks to you I'm hunting for roommates and I have a bunch of interviews later today" she continued
Now I was almost done with my shift and was waiting for Jake cause we said we'd meet here. I checked my phone looking for any texts like
"I'm leaving" or "I'm on my way" but I guess that's fine.
Jake's POV:
I stood in front of the mirror looking at my reflection as my mind raced in thoughts of Emily, my heart started beating faster and my hands started shaking.
"Maybe I shouldn't go" I thought out loud
"Do not! Bail on Emily" my conscience debated, the more I thought about it the more I was tempted to do it and I felt my hands getting sweatier. I stood back from the mirror shaking and sloppily walked to my bed. I felt really the fluffy pillow on my head as I landed on the bed, tears fell out of my eyes involuntarily, I lay there crying uncontrollably as my eyes saw the plain white ceiling, I struggled to keep on breathing steadily. Now I'm sure I can't go even though I wanted to, I wanted to see Emily and wanted to see her smile when we meet but now I can't. I can't pull myself together 5 minutes before I'm supposed to meet her and now I've hurt her even though I never wanted to, I'm going to hurt her and its all my fault.
Emily's POV :
I waited on a table in the cafe, seems like Jake's running late, that's totally normal, maybe something came up, yeah.
[...]
It's been half an hour, I knew this was too good to be true so I sat there looking like a damn fool, why did he ask me out if he didn't like me? Why did he kiss me back when I kissed him that night? Why did he text me all those wonderful things? Just to not mean any of it, I don't know if I'm more sad or angry, why did I fall for him when he was just leading me on for no good. I stood up and angrily walked home stomping my feet all the way there. I opened the door to find mum on the couch drinking some kind of alcohol, walking past her I tried not to get yelled at.
"It's a little late to come back don't you think?" Her voice said as a chill ran down my spine
"I was just out with a friend" I said trying not to turn to her before climbing the stairs to my room
"It seems like you're sad, if you want you can talk to me" she said, I've heard those words before and once I even trusted them but I know better than making the same mistakes again
"There's nothing to talk about" I said finally shifting my body to look at her from a distance
"I know you hate me but I'm trying" her face almost looked as if she was not lying
"Trying? Is that what you call this? You're drinking at 4PM on a Tuesday, trust me this is not trying" I said huffing before walking away into my bedroom.
Emily's moms POV :
I sat on my couch tired looking at the TV screen with a half empty bottle of whisky in my right hand and the TV remote in the other. My heart aches every time I think about how much pain I've caused Emily. I know I've failed I know I've fucked up bad but I don't think I can fix this. There were some nights I can just here here crying from the other room reasons unknown but I know I cannot stop it now the truth is sometimes I'm the reason she cries but I can't help it, my anger knew no bounds and my mind stopped being rational every time something went wrong, it felt like my hands and mind were out of control but I know that's not the real me unfortunately I lost the real me a long time ago as I started drowning my sorrows in alcohol.
*flashback*
I sat in the hospital bed holding my new born in my arms as I looked at her with admiration, all I wish was for her father to be here but I never told him and now it's too late to tell him, it's just me and Emily against the world now. Even though it's just me and her all alone I know I would give her the life she deserves.
*end of flashback*
I remember the day she was born and the promise I made to her that I could not keep, over the years I lost friends but also family, who would want to be associated with the woman who got pregnant at 18 in the back of a minivan that smelt like weed. What hurt the most was that of all the promises I made to anyone I could not keep the one I made to Emily.
"You're drinking at 4PM on a Tuesday, trust me this is not trying" Emily's words ran through my head on repeat, the words felt like ribbons tied around my head that got tighter the more I thought about it. I quickly got out of home and took a taxi to the usual club I bartend at. The rest if the night was a blur, maybe that's why I keep coming here, to make memories that I'd forget the next day.
Emily's POV :
It's 11:11 and all I wish for is to stop wanting him but I can't, even though I knew him for a sort period of time I knew someone like Jake was too good to be true, how could someone like him want someone like me? I should've seen this coming. Love is two things ; It's an illusion that works like drugs, something I craved way too much since he left me.
I sat on the grass of the graveyard as my hand felt the cool marble on his grave tracing his name engraved on it, I haven't been here since the day of his fundrel.
*flashback*
I stood there looking at his cold body rest before the burial, his arms had fresh cuts on them which was visible even through the tears in my eyes, it felt like my whole world had been taken away from me in just a night. How could he just go? He said he'd be with me forever. I saw a few people shut his casket and bury it, my heart ached as I saw the sight of him being gone, my already broken heart seemed to have been broken more at what I saw, he was my world and I would do anything to bring him back but that's the truth of it everyone dies in the end, some peoples ending occur sooner than others. He should be here with me probably listening to music in my room with me not being buried six feed under. I walked away too heartbroken before the fundrel ended. And that was the end of him, Noah Miller.
*end of flashback*
Noah Miller, died at 16, we knew each other since we were 9, back when I never really cared about anything, we loved each other for 3 years before he left me, leaving nothing but a note. I don't think anyone could replace Noah, I know because I've tried. If I wanted one thing to go my way I'd want Noah to be here with me, we were just 13 when we fell for each other I didn't think asking out my bestfriend would end with me crying to him at 11:30PM in a graveyard.
"It's been more than a year since you've died but I don't seemed to have recovered, it's been hard since you've left. I still wonder what could've been if I found you sooner in your bathroom that night. I don't think I can keep living without you but I know you wouldn't want that, the past year has been one of the worst ones, I cry almost every night wishing you were here to hold me" I said with teardrops running from my eyes.
I sat there looking at the stars that look bright, one of them kept twinkling, if it was true that after you die you turn into stars then that one would be Noah so I spoke to the sky, particularly that star.
"Where are you when I need you the most?" I asked but the only responses were the sounds of rustling leave on trees and a few insects nearby but that wasn't the same as his voice that reassured me.