Michael POV
I closed my eyes, taking a desperate inhale of the cigarette. When I was about to exhale slowly, someone from behind said "You really should stop smoking you know."
For a split second, I jumped, startled by Nicki's voice. I choked a bit and coughed violently, making me hit my chest several times. When I couldn't stop, I covered my mouth (yes I know, very unsanitary but I don't care) to smother it in hopes it might quit. After I managed to breathe and stop coughing, I pulled it away. My heart sped up momentarily when I saw what was on my hand.
Blood.
I hastily wiped it off on my pant leg as Nicki plopped down next to me.
"You alright there?"
"Fine."
"That sounded like a pretty nasty coughing fit."
I rolled my eyes, taking a drag of my cigarette.
"I really think you should stop smoking. Smoking isn't going to help that constant coughing you have all the time."
"I think you should stop eating. Eating isn't going to help you not getting fat," I retorted sassily.
"Someone's grumpy."
"Someone interrupted my peace," I snapped.
There was a moment of silence finally and I sighed, letting the gentle wind blow across my face. I shivered a bit but didn't say anything.
"Michael... are you uh... transgender?"
I felt myself freeze up, my cigarette dropping to the ground and a strangled noise made its way past my lips. I tried to shrug it off but my voice was shaking despite my constant chastising myself to just GET. IT. TOGETHER!
"Why would you even think that?" I said quietly, memories playing over and over in a mental loop in my brain.
He fidgeted with his shirt's hem absentmindedly.
"I uh had this dream when I was out and you were probably five or something but you had long hair and-"
"How do you know that girl was me?" I interrupted harshly.
"Who else has heterochromatic eyes like yours!?? One red and the other goldish silverish! Who else has that sort of eye colors!" He said excitedly.
"How do you know this dream is even real?" I growled.
"Because I just do! Are you transgender?"
"NO!" I snarled probably a little too loudly.
He flinched at the anger in my voice. I sighed, wishing I hadn't dropped my cigarette so I could distract myself with it. It would've given me a good excuse to stay silent.
"Listen Nicki, these are just dreams-"
"But I had a dream that came true BEFORE!" He protested. "Don't you believe me even a bit? If you're transgender, that's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about! You heard us, we're all very supporting of that kind of stuff!"
"WELL I'M NOT!" I blurted out.
Then I felt my stomach revolt and I scrambled up, jumping down and running into the woods. 'Need to get away need to get away away away away!' I dropped to my knees and vomited up the earlier granola bar and water I had a few hours ago. For some reason, Nicki shook me up. He had a way of doing that to me. Nicki was annoying and outgoing. Usually, I wouldn't have ever let someone like him see past my barriers and make them shatter the way he did.
What about him did this to me?
I wretched once again and for some reason, I just couldn't stop throwing up, even when I had nothing left to throw up about. Finally, I just curled up in a ball and swallowed down the bile.
"Michael, there you are!"
At hearing Nicki's voice, I held my knees tighter. I heard leaves rustling and then someone sitting down next to me.
"I don't really believe you're homophobic," he said softly.
I just stayed completely silent, letting him pause for a while at my quietness.
"Michael, are you transgender?:
'Don't let him seduce you into telling him anything Michael. Lies lies lies, they're all lying they're all lies and lying all the time... Don't listen to them don't don't don't...' Yet when I opened my mouth to tell him no, I pulled my head up and looked him straight in the eyes. I closed my mouth, pursing my lips and shakily sighing.
"I used to be a girl, but I couldn't take the abuse of being so tomboyish in Japan. I wasn't supposed to be able to fight. I was apparently just supposed to give up and let myself die. Or I was supposed to become a prostitute and go sell myself off for perverts to have their way to survive." I snorted, remembering how disgusted I was whenever someone mentioned that idea to me. "Yeah right. But back then, I was only seven and was still smaller than other people. I got beat up a lot and I was tired of it. So, I managed to find a "friend of a friend" you could say. They agreed to give it to me for free as long as I..." A lump appeared in my throat and I decided to just skip over that. "Did a few favors you could say. Finally, I became Michael and not the names I'd given myself. Of course, I got bullied a lot for being transgender but I became stronger during my recovery. Now... I'm transgender and gender fluid."
He just gawked at me and I felt my cheeks warming slowly.
"What?"
Nicki sheepishly flushed, shrugging and beaming at me.
"I was just thinking that you... you uh have to be really brave and strong to go through that kind of stuff. You know, all that persecution and stuff? All I was thinking was that you're pretty amazing," He said, awed.
I felt some sort of twinge of... embarrassment? Pride? Whatever it was, I didn't like it one bit. Why was I blushing?
"Don't be a sap you cheeseball," I said, huffing.
"So... like, you're a girl. And a boy?"
"Oh my GOSH you're not going to actually make me explain every single detail of what gender fluid means, are you?"
"No no no, I'll just ask someone else."
"I'm a girl biologically. Now I'm a boy, but being a gender fluid person means that sometimes, I consider myself more female than male or vice versa," I explained.
"Ohh, that makes so much more sense though. Thanks for explaining, but do you want to tell Luke and Rachel?"
I scoffed.
"YOU can. I'm going to find us food."
I stood up with him and I was about to walk away when he grabbed me.
"Hey what-"
He pulled me into a hug and I squirmed in discomfort, a warm feeling dancing through my limbs.
"Hey quit it! Let go of me you dork!"
"Just one second okay?"
I made a sound of impatience and patted his back sarcastically.
"Great, now lemme go before I kill you."
He backed away, smiling at me as if I was the cutest puppy in the world (A/N: but you are Michael you are you just don't see it).
"You're such a tsundere though."
"You're such a dork," I snapped, then stopped. "A really cute dork, but a dork."
His eyebrows shot up into his hair and he shook his head, laughing and heading back to the cave. I took maybe one step further into the forest.
"Hey, Michael!"
I turned around and Nicki blew me a kiss.
"I think you're pretty cute too darling. Ciao!"
I let my mouth drop open as he wiggled his fingers at me before sprinting off. I felt my whole face go aflame.
"NICKI WHYTE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"