I hear the blood rush in my ears. I don't know how long I stood there staring at him. But when he starts to walk back the way we came, I grab his arm pulling him to a stop.
"You want to break up…? Like stop dating…?" I ask him not exactly understanding what he said.
"You do understand the meaning of the words you just told me?" I ask him again when he doesn't respond.
I'm not sure if my feet is weak because of the fatigue from walking around for this long has finally set in or because I didn't have my breakfast, but I don't dare to move fearing that I may fall.
"I know what I said. And I think you're the one who's not understanding." He says removing my hands from his sleeves.
He squeezes my shoulder with both his hands looking me straight in the eye. That's when it finally sinks in. That the relationship that I thought would last forever, the person who I thought would stay with me through thick and thin, who I could trust and lean on, my happily ever after. My soulmate has officially dumped me. When I come back to earth after counting all the stars circling around my head I realise that I'm standing alone and Krishna has already left. I rush to catch up with him ignoring the shooting pain in my feet. I had something to ask him.
"Whywhy….?" I stutter catching him before he enters the hall where the initial speeches were being given. I cut into his way with both hands stretched out horizontally showing that he couldn't pass.
"Why are you breaking up with me? There must be a reason right? Did I say something wrong? Was it something I did? What's the reason?" I ask him my chest burning from the lack of oxygen.
"Jia it's not yo--"
"Ohh please don't give me the its-not-you-its-me nonsense. The least you can do is give me a proper reason." I say not ready to budge an inch.
After what's seems to be hours he finally sighs and replies. "Jia you know that soon I'll be leaving to take entrance coaching."
"Ya, so what?"
"I don't know how long I'll be gone for. After entrance I'll go straight to college. I don't know if I'll be able to make it during vacations either."
"It's ok we can call. I'll even write to you." I assure him taking both his hands in mine.
"Jia you wanted to know the reason right? Then let me finish what I'm trying to say. Ok?" He says pulling his hands from me and taking two steps back.
I force my tears back and nod my head indicating him to go on. The pain in my chest was growing by the second.
"Ok so, like I said… after I leave I don't know when I'll come back here. Maybe in a year or maybe not. And both at the coaching centre and college I'll be so busy studying there won't be any time to call like befor--"
"Actually I didn't tell you this because I wanted it to be a surprise." I cut in again unable to keep it in any longer.
"I'm thinking of going for medicine too!" I literally yell without taking a breath
"What….?" He asks narrowing his eyes. As if checking to see if the heat has gotten to me and if I had finally lost it.
"What I'm saying is that if we are lucky we don't have to have a long distance relationship like you think. We can study together in college just like this." I explain expecting him to show some sign of relief and take back what he had said before. But he shows no such sign if anything his face gets more tensed.
"You don't have to do that for me. Jia, medicine and all is not like some tuition class. That if your friend goes you also join there. You have no idea how hard it is. Even if we end up together we'll have a lot to study. Dating and all will just be trouble."
"Krishna I swear--" Neha pulls me by the wrist cutting me off midsentence. I don't know how long she's been standing here or how exactly she knew our location.
"Don't " She says glaring at him. Then she turns to me and her eyes softens a bit.
"Cause no matter what you promise. People who wants to leave will always find a new way." She says tightening her hands around my wrist. Telling me that she was here. No matter what. My eyes starts getting all foggy and I have a hard time controlling my tears.
"That's your excuse. That you can't handle dating as well as studying?!" Neha questions turning her head towards Krishna with the glare back on.
"Neha I--" Krishna tries to explain
"You better keep it shut. One more sound from that dirt hole of yours and I swear you'll have to join a hospital earlier than you ever expected. Let's go Jia." She says putting her hand around my shoulder turning me and then guiding me into the already full hall.
She pulls me to the very corner of the room and we sit down. That's when the tears that had been threatening to come out the whole time finally falls. One after another tears roll down my cheeks washing away any makeup in their way. I thank god for not putting on eyeliner because otherwise I would have looked like some mime character or something.
I sit there crying silently through out the speech and when everyone leaves the hall for the main events which was being held outside in the ground. We both stay behind in the hall, me crying and her simply being there for me. After what seem to be like an eternity Neha finally brakes the silence.
"You hungry?"
"No…." I say wiping my face sloppily with both my palms.
"You want to go home?" She asks handing me a packet tissue.
"Ya… but I don't want to walk…." I say pointing at my now raw and bloody calves.
"You wait here. I'll come in 5 minutes." Neha says standing up from her chair.
"Mmm…" I nod not really caring where she's going.
After a while she comes back. Takes her bag from the chair and pulls me up to a standing position. She leads us to the teacher's parking lot outside the school gate and starts our class teacher Usha ma'am's scooter. I looked at her dumbstruck.
"What? I didn't steal it like last time… She gave it to me when I told her you are having chicken pox." She said acting all hurt from my accusing eyes.
Actually I wouldn't have cared even if she killed some one today. To her surprise I climb behind her without any complaints and we set back home silently.
I leaned forward and laid my head on her back suddenly all tried to even sit straight.
"One more day. One more day and you don't have to see him again." She says trying to lift my spirit during our ride home.
"Monday, there's only half day class anyway. If you want we can leave early after taking the hall ticket. Then for exams all of us will be in different classes you don't have to worry." She says confidently
"Krishna is just one seat behind me. We are always together during exam." I say realising that there was no real way out until one of us left the town.
"You know what. Lets exchange seats. You sit in my place I'll sit in yours. They won't be able to tell difference because we both are girl….." She went on devising plans while driving or rather diving into gutters.
And that's how my long awaited farewells ended. With me stepping into the REAL WORLD.