They say cute and sweet people are little cinnamon rolls, that they don't have anything wrong with them and everything works out for them. I'm here to tell you that that's not always true.
Sometimes the sweet little cinnamon roll everyone knows, keeps a dark secret hidden away in a secret room in their heart. I'm gonna tell you a story of a girl who people would consider a cinnamon roll.
Once there was a sweet little girl who did nothing but smile, laugh and make others feel welcome, she was special yes, but as she grew older the happy, colorful world she once new had disappeared and changed into a faded, gloomy, colorless world where there was no sunshine and the darkness never went away.
Instead it became her only ally in a war of distraught and horror. Despite the beatings from other kids and parents who didn't understand, she put on a brave face every morning so her sister could look at her and not see the pain and torment in her dull, lifeless eyes.
As she struggled through life, she sought the happiness she had lost many years ago, having little sparks here and there. Unfortunately though all good things had to come to an end, many times over was she revered as "the new kid" that no one wanted to be friends with or talk to, and so her only companion was that among the voices in her head.
Many times she wanted to go out to the world and scream from the streets "hey! I'm in pain, please someone help me!", but of course no one would listen, so she kept it to herself deep inside. The light long gone from her eyes and having long forgotten how to really smile, her future grew dimmer and dimmer, the only person she could talk to besides the voices were her great grandmother, who greeted every morning with a smile on her face.
Sadly at the age of 11, the day came when the only light left in the girls' dreary world, went out, she got the news the day after, falling to her knees in anguish she sobbed. Her world was completely gone, her light was gone, she was gone. She walked the streets and halls of her school a shell of the girl she once was, forever lost in the memories that time left behind, waiting for the day she would be freed.
Many times did she contemplate ending her own life and going to see her great grandmother again, but couldn't bring herself to do it. Now riddled with scars every place imaginable, she still walks, she still cries, she still tries to forget.
Now in high school, she finds someone who actually makes her happy, but she's still afraid, afraid that if she lets them get too close they'll burn her as if she were a twig in an open fire. So she still covers her heart in a thick mold so no one can easily burn her, and so she manages to make friends, and is slowly beginning to see a new light.
Unfortunately the scars still pile up, but her image of them has changed, seeing them as small victories she's had over the cruelty of fate, and now seeing herself as a survivor rather than just a victim. She sees herself as a conqueror of her old fears; being alone and forgotten.
She sees the light that leads her on her path, she is no longer the sweet little girl she once was, yes, but she's not the depressed little girl she was either, no, she is a much stronger version of herself. She sees that she is stronger because of her experiences, that her struggles were only to get her to see differently and to open her eyes. At last, she sees.
They say cute and sweet people are little cinnamon rolls, that they don't have anything wrong with them and everything works out for them. That simply isn't true, the cinnamon roll is often the one with the dark secret hidden away in a dark room, but if you happen to find that room, you just might find something that will change the way you look at the world all together.
All good things must come to an end, but as for this young girls story, it's just beginning...