Ever since after my test, I had been attending classes as usual just like how I was supposed to. Before I knew it, exams started and I was busy to the point that I couldn't even keep track of time. The days passed by in a matter of seconds actually. On the other hand, our club kind of went on a hiatus.
Why?
Because, some urgent business showed up and Sadashige sensei had to take care of it immediately - he wouldn't lay anything out so we all had pretty much no details on the issue. After all, before the profession of a strict, sadist teacher, he was an elite Iga ninja.
I just hope I can handle all this stress of giving exams considering I even visit mom at the hospital. The good news is that she actually started remembering bits and pieces of her life, but still, it wasn't enough to be stated as a 'full recovery'. Prior to my worry, the doctors mentioned that the trigger to her amnesia was still undetectable, meaning that her brain continued to block out all the traumatic events.
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Since the whole academy was attempting the finals, I had a feeling that Yuichi's and Mizore's graduation ceremony was drawing near which meant that --
"We'll be separated huh..." I bit my lower lip at that thought.
(No! I can't be distracted like that! I have got to concentrate!)
I swallowed back the lump of the inapproachable thought forming in my chest as I spent the rest of the night studying while, as usual, one of the others was patrolling.
(I hope they do well on their exams in this kind of situation...)
I felt a bit guilty that all of this was happening because of my weakness. My eyes squinted with sadness as I stared at my MATH book, the many cramped up complicated formulas jumping out of every page.
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That night, I couldn't sleep one bit, perhaps because of the fact that one of us was awake and moving. I kept tossing under my blanket as I forced myself to sleep but all my efforts were in vain. This had become somewhat of an unintentional habit, and I couldn't do anything to make it better.
After the many failed attempts, I quickly sat up and decided to take a short stroll around the house. Upon exiting the open kitchen and entering the backyard, I met Mizore.
"Mizore?"
I inadvertently spoke up. Mizore immediately glanced back at me as she jogged my way.
"Asuna! What are you doing at this hour? Don't you have an exam tomorrow?"
"Yeah I do... But, I just couldn't sleep. I was actually getting worried that..." I stopped myself to talk any further.
Mizore looked back at me with concerned eyes - my frown reflected in them. A sudden feeling of fear and loneliness welled up and took hold of my heart. I knew what I was thinking was irrational, yet I couldn't suppress my feelings all in the same.
"Are... Are you really going to study abroad after graduation? Are we finally going to be separated... from now?"
I was close to tears at this point. My siblings were the only closest beings I had left, the only basis I was maintaining my sanity after all the grievous events.
"Even Yuichi... are you two really planning on leaving me, Raizo, the others, and mom...? Are you truly okay AND happy to abandon us in our current situation even when you know--"
Before I could retain blurting out something regretful, I was locked in a comfortably sheltered embrace as Mizore immediately answered, "Asuna. What are you saying all of a sudden? Of course Yuichi and I hate to leave you all but... What else choice do we have? Mom can't pay for our Uni fees in her condition so we really have no other option but to rely on someone else who can.
Believe me, I feel horrible to leave, especially you Asuna. You were the one we all so longed to meet, and really create a family bond with. Not to mention... You welcomed all of us into your normal, chaotic-free life even after knowing how at odds we were from humans. None can replace the one Asuna.
I also speak for Yuichi. He was actually the one totally against this change, but we have no other choice available. It has to be done."
"B-But, you can just abandon your studies if this has to happen! Life's not all about getting the perfect education!"
"Asuna... you know I - We can't do that. But if it still bothers you so much, just remember one thing. No matter where we are in this world, we all share the same sky and ultimately also the same objective, right? I will always recall you as my fun, loving sister."
After finishing her part of the convo, Mizore delicately stroked my messy hair, patting the strands low and obedient, as she mustered up one last smile before letting me cry with all my heart. I wished I wouldn't have to let go of this supportive warmth enveloping me at my weakest.
Amongst all this, what they didn't know was that someone was gazing at them from afar with grief and at the same time, pain glassing his yellow eyes...
"..."
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The next tiring morning...
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We finally managed to get ready on time after like ages! It wasn't long until the exams were drawing to an end. I could feel the graduation day creeping closer and closer. Of course this is life... People come and go. That's just how it is, but 'why' is the question. Why does life have to go on like this, with continued depression and problems?
I can't be alright with all this.
"It just isn't fair...!" I blurted out in the middle of an exam session.
"Asuna! Is there anything that you would like to share with us?" The teacher asked with furrowed eyebrows.
"Oh! Um, no, nothing! I was just talking to myself hahaha..."
I was so embarrassed from cutting the quiet in the room that I just cowered in my place, blushing hard.
(I am such an idiot!)
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As most students would be happy about it, exams finally came to an end. I didn't know if I was supposed to be relieved or to simply feel despondent...
Well, I was actually sad.
(Those two are finally graduating soon. After that... And then...)
Tears swelled up at the edge of my eyes as I tried eating my dinner without a hitch. I wasn't eating at the table with the rest, but, in my own room. Only darkness enveloped all sides, setting aside the flickering of the small night lamp next to me on the oval table.
"Hey Asuna. You still in there? " A half jolly voice spoke from the other side of the shut door.
Without waiting for me to at least reply, the door opened gingerly. Of course, none other than Raizo decided to drop by.
"...Hey Raizo..."
I averted my gaze as soon as I knew who it was, mainly trying to hide my tears.
"Hey, why don't you join us for dinner? It is not good for a girl to be all alone in such a dark place. You might end up getting bad skin like this ahah..."
Seeing the little to no difference his chat made, Raizo awkwardly stopped talking as he plopped on the bed with me.
"What's the matter Asuna? It really isn't like you to skip eating with us all. Come on, you know you can talk to me, right?"
I didn't answer. I didn't even want to think of the purpose I was being like this in the first place.
After giving it some thought, Raizo finally asked, somewhat certain, "Maybe... Is it because of Mizore and Yuichi?"
I lightly sniffed, confirming his guess.
"But why? Me and the twins are still with you! So, why get upset from something like that?"
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I finally mustered weakly, "B-Because... it's just heart breaking to realize that the siblings you thought you never knew needed to part after such a short amount of time. It's... it's just... too sad to be a fact. Just when I was starting to have fun with them, they had to leave. I just want all this... to be a dream...!"
I don't know when the tears trickled down as I answered Raizo face to face in the end. Without thinking twice, I clung to him, carried on crying through shut eyes.
"Wow... You were holding all this inside huh... You can't accept the fact to leave us... us monsters..." Raizo mumbled, even lower than a whisper as he rubbed my back to calm me down.
Just then, perhaps due to long halted visit, Yuichi stepped inside my room with a worried expression.
"...What happened?" He asked calmly after seeing the situation.
"She just snapped, I guess?" Raizo replied, feeling unsure as he looked down at me.
Getting the hint of the case, Yuichi walked to my side as he patted my head and spoke, "...Asuna. ...Don't waste that energy crying for something which can't be undone... ...If you want, we can contact you every day of the week. ...And..."
"And...?" Raizo glanced beside him to meet Yuichi's silence figure.
"...Nothing, forget it."
Feeling that hand move away, I slowly tilted to look up at him. That's when Yuichi smiled reassuringly.
"You promise?" I managed to ask with all that lump stuck in my throat.
".....Yes."
"See? All settled! They will even visit us from time to time so don't get sad! It's not like you will never get to see them again in your life." Raizo added with a chuckle.
I sniffed one last time as I, too, smiled faintly and wiped away my tears.
"Geez, you really know how to make us worry." Raizo exhaled softly while shifting in his position, earning a bed creak.
"Sorry for the trouble, but I think I feel okay now."
They both peered at me one final time before exchanging smiles simultaneously.
(Ughh, that's right, me! I, too, have to stay strong and positive at this point. I cannot cry for my entire life like this! Get a hold of yourself!)
Although I still hate that Mizore and Yuichi are going to leave sooner or later and of course it will take time to get used to, I shouldn't let reality break me everytime. And, like he said, I would still have Raizo and the others including mom, so I should still be fine, right?
•••
Yeah, I will be.