Chereads / Forbidden name / Chapter 17 - It’s my past life, do I have to share it?

Chapter 17 - It’s my past life, do I have to share it?

"Talk to you? About what Kane..." Ren whispered, his eyes growing wide with fear. How was he supposed to tell the one person he's growing to care so much for, about the literal hell he had to endure? About the shameful things he had to be out through? Would he look at him different? He wouldn't right? Kane look at him any different than he does now, there's no way. Right? "You know what, Baby I need you to talk to someone about your past.. whatever you went through you need to talk to someone about it. And not just your past with the prick Mazuko. What happened before him. Why are you so terrified all the time.. why are you against people knowing and saying your name.. what the fuck is up with all those scars... Chīsai. Talk to me. Please.." Kane placed his hand on his cheek, letting Ren comfortably nuzzle into his hand letting the painful silence fall between them. "I- I'm not sure Kane.. I don't want you to look at me different. I like what we have going on.." The greenette confessed, "Chīsai, I can promise you that I will not look at you any different than I do now. I just want to know how I can help you."

Ren let gentle tears fall as he nuzzled Into his lovers hand, "Kane, I- I'm not sure.. Are you sure your ready to hear it? It- It's a lot to take in. Especially since we just started dating literally 7 hours ago." He chuckled, Kane nodded as he smiled " I know, but I think it's best if I know now, and not years down the road." Ren nodded his head as he let out a sigh, "Alright, okay. But can you go get Aki? Or text her. She thinks she already knows everything.. and she doesn't. I don't want to say this more than once." One nodded his head, pulling his phone out of his pocket quickly texting Aki before shoving the phone in his pocket. Kane intertwined his fingers with Ren, gently gliding his thumb along his knuckles sitting in a comfortable silence.

"I'm here! I'm here what's wrong?!" Aki screamed as she blew open the door running to Ren's aide, the greenette chuckled pulling her into a hug. "Nothings wrong Aki, I just wanted to talk to you both. That's all." Pulling out of the hug, he smiled at them both, Sweetly. "I know you want me to talk to him Aki,-" Ren started, pulling his eyes to the ground as he spoke, "about middle school. And that was such a long time ago, and I never wanted to bring it up again. I thought if I never used my name again, or if i just ignored the obvious trauma that's still there, that it wouldn't exist anymore. But I guess it's still affecting me, from what people say. It's not normal to hate the sound of your name, it's not normal to hide in my room all the time, it's not normal to push yourself to be okay, I'm not normal." Ren placed his hand to his chest, gripping his shirt as he kept ranting, his breathing started to increase at an unsteady pace. The two placed their hands on his legs, in the hopes of calming him down even just a little. "Chīsai, baby-" Ren shook his head interrupting Kane, " No, I'm okay. I am. I just want to get this over with, just let me breathe for a second.." slowly backing away from him, the two let Ren collect himself before he continued. Ren slowly laid his head to his pillow, laying his arms over his eyes "Aki, I know you think you know everything that happened.. But, you don't. You only know what I wanted you to know, and the only reason you know is because you found me in that alley.." Ren slowly sat back up, "If it wasn't you that found me Aki, I don't think I would have told you. And I really only told you a half truth. I was too embarrassed to tell you the whole truth."

"A half truth? What did you not tell me.." Aki slowly sat on the corner of his bed, "Ren, what did you not tell me.." asking again, the greenette flinched when he heard his name, "I-I'm sorry. But I lied to you when I said I didn't know who did it." Aki's face twisted to a slight bit of anger, slowly standing from her spot on his bed, "What do you mean, don't lie to me again Ren. What happened to you and who the fuck did it." Aki gripped her hands tightly, her face flushed red in anger, not noticing the hot tears pooling from Ren's eyes. "Aki, hey! You fucking idiot, look at what your doing to him!" Kane shouted, gripping her shoulders and shaking her. "He's already terrified enough! Stop being a fucking bitch right now! This is probably why he didn't tell you the truth the first time!" Aki glared at Kane, before she turned her gaze towards the greenette, his nose running, tears freely falling down his face, hiccuping due to the lack of air he was receiving. Her face fell at the sight, instead of talking to calm him down, she opted for it saying a word as she sat to his bed again. Aki's eyes glued to his bed as she sat patiently for him to start talking again.

"Chisai, it's okay. Keep going." Kane gripped his hand giving him a slight squeeze in reassurance, "A-Aki, I know your gonna hate me, so just know that I love you, and your the best friend I could of ever had." Aki raised her eyes up, shaking her head, still scared to utter a word to him. "What you seen? Me in that alley way, when I told you i had no idea who did that to me, i was scared, scared you wouldn't believe me, scared the cops would call me a liar, scared he could hurt me even worse.-" Aki's breath hitched "Ren, I'm not sure why you think I wouldn't believe you, or why you think I'd hate you after. But that's just not true." She whispered, gripping his free hand. Ren chuckled "That may be true now, but back then. I was so sure of it. Especially since it was someone, we all knew in our friend group.." the room fell silent, the tension growing as no one dared to speak "Chīsai, baby, tell her who it was. Tell us who it was." Ren squeezed his eyes shut, letting tears fall faster "T- Tristan. Tristan Vikamp"