How much time has gone by?
Desire couldn't tell as he focused only on himself.
He just only sat down on the ground while erasing his senses.
Erasing senses may be hard, but in all actuality, it was easy for Desire.
The Body Control Skill allowed him to do it without difficulty.
Jarina once explained that Body Control Skill is a miraculous one that could control one's body in any way possible.
Desire just took advantage of that fact.
And as he erased his senses, focusing only on himself, Desire was swimming on his consciousness.
He went here and there, trying to contain his emotions, and after his 6 months of effort, Desire could finally see his hard work's results.
However, this still wasn't enough to get the Cold-blooded trait.
Cold-blooded Trait is the nature or special quality of a person. Just because Desire was able to do something like that doesn't mean he can suddenly become that kind of person.
Change isn't something that happens overnight. It happens gradually as Desire takes on the process of acquiring the Cold-blooded trait.
Anyway, Desire spent his remaining time just sitting in front of those emotions.
And as he watched them, he felt something was amiss.
"Cold-blooded doesn't really erase emotions..." Desire said meekly inside his mind.
Well, he was in his mind right now.
Anyway, what Desire said wasn't wrong.
Cold-blooded is just cold-blooded. Having the trait makes you cruel and savage while having no pity for your opponents as you kill them.
Emotions may be hiding behind those cruel actions, but it definitely exists.
There are different reasons why one chose to be cold-blooded both in the heart and action, but even so, emotions aren't erased just by being cold-blooded.
Jarina is a prime example of this.
Desire has seen her many sides, and all of them contained emotions that were buried deep in her heart.
Realizing this, Desire has come to a conclusion.
"Doesn't it mean that if I just lock them up, I'll be able to get the Cold-blooded Trait?"
Watching the abstract emotions of his, Desire was convinced of what he said just now.
"So that's why it took her a long time to achieve the trait."
Desire could finally see why Jarina took at least 3 years in getting the trait.
She spent minutes, hours, days, and years in here just to get used to the feeling of locking her emotions.
And after that, she was able to perfect the Cold-blooded trait.
Which probably means that she has control over her emotions while also having the necessary locks to prevent it from controlling her.
"Is there something else in the Cold-blooded trait for it to be so simple?"
Indeed. If what Desire speculated was all true, then the trait's acquisition would be too simple for it to be connected to such an amazing skill called All Brain Skill.
Well, it was only simple for him because he doesn't realize how hard it is for normal people to practice the same way he is doing right now.
Desire 'opened' his eyes while being inside his mind to look at the emotions he gathered right now.
They weren't locked, but they were put into place where Desire could freely control them.
"Hmmm. What would happen if...I were to destroy it?"
Desire considered destroying his emotions sincerely. Although he didn't know what would happen, it must be something far more interesting than just locking his emotions.
However, he already 'killed' the loved that he had, so these emotions were recuperating.
After all, emotions wouldn't be killed just because you killed it.
From the various encounters one has experienced through one's life, one would remember and feel how he felt during that time.
This was true no matter who the person is.
And as long as Desire lives, the emotions will always come back.
He will feel new feelings if he encounters new experiences as he goes by his life.
However, if he pushed his emotions to the extreme, Desire could risk becoming emotionless.
That was something Desire didn't want.
"But, it should be possible...after all, this practice almost points to this outcome."
If Desire considered how the practice on how to get the Cold-blooded trait was supposed to be done, Desire could say that its true purpose was to destroy the emotions.
After all, nobody would create something like this just for some measly trait.
In fact, the effort that the people who practiced the Cold-blooded trait have put into it is immense that the reward doesn't seem satisfactory.
Even if changes do not happen overnight, it should not take 3 years alone in this kind of 'room' and with this kind of environment.
After all, the risks it contains were huge that anyone could die any moment if their focus lapses even for a minute.
"Should I try it?" Desire said as he weighs the advantages of doing it.
There were no real advantages in doing it because it only has risks, and what's more, the outcome isn't guaranteed.
There isn't even any clue to what he will get by treading this path.
And Dawn could tell that he was the first one to consider doing it.
After all, if there were someone who did it before, Jarina would know of it.
"Huuuu." Desire sighed a bit and returned to his body.
He wanted to think about it while gazing at the sky.
Even though he could stay there as if it were nothing, his stress is still immense.
Desire opened his eyes and stretched his body as he felt stiff here and there.
When he looked down, he could see the sweat that has accumulated.
And when he looked in front, the same scenery welcomed his eyes.
He walked towards the chair where he saw before and sat down to it.
The table where he ate had no plates, but instead...
"Date, huh. I only have one month left till my promised time."
Because Desire always spent his time here trying to understand the Cold-blooded trait's mysteries, Jarina was the one reminding him how much time he has left.
Desire looked at the sky silently.
His eyes were blank, as if he were thinking deeply about something.
His arms were hanging from his shoulders, and he looked like a dead man.
He stayed like that for hours as he continued calculating what to do.
This was the longest time Desire has ever spent 'outside' in the whole 11 months.
"Haah. Should I just do it?"
No matter what Desire decides to do, he already accomplished what he has set out to do.
Although it didn't reflect on his status, it did reflect on his mindset and calm emotions now.
However, the reward isn't so satisfying that Desire was seriously considering doing it.
And that was why he decided.
"Shit." Desire cursed as he walked towards the same spot where he was sitting on.
He plopped straight down and used the Body Control Skill to force erase his senses and focused only on his mind.
After an hour of focusing, he was able to enter the place where he was swimming.
And, there he could see it. See the emotions which he bottled up.
"Shit..." Desire said meekly as he raised his hand towards the emotions.
As this was a place inside Desire's mind, Desire was the strongest being here.
Nothing could oppose him, and everything will go his way.
Zhong! With the power of his mind, Desire used some a bit of magic. He wasn't really using magic, but it looked that way.
He created spears of water and spears of forest and surrounded his emotions.
"!"
He was about to strike, but then he realized something.
"I-It's possible..." He murmured as soon as he finished his thoughts.
He then released his emotions and let it run rampant as he remembered the fight with the humans.
And at the same time, his emotions started surging into a rage; the spears flew towards them.
And before things turned into a mess, the spears pierced through the emotions.
Desire imagined that the emotions would die after getting hit by it, so it was easy to destroy them.
However, what happens next depends on what Desire does or, rather, what he can do while having his emotions ripped apart.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Desire screamed as he felt his insides being destroyed internally.
He already felt this before, but eradicating it was something else.
It was then.
Before Desire could lose his mind, he forced himself to 'feel' things by remembering everything that transpired in his life.
The underground, Lyra, Liya, the village, Percia, Skinjur, and then Jarina.
All of them passed his mind one by one as he reminisced.
"HaAAAAAAA!" He shouted to pump himself.
However, his efforts weren't enough. He wasn't able to secure a single feeling, and his mind wasn't able to hold on.
His consciousness dissipated as if he just passed out.
His sense of self was disappearing.
He felt himself disappearing...
Desire was now blank.
Until a light appeared inside of that vacant, dark, and lonely room.
It was the feeling of despair.