Chester looked tired. Like he hasn't slept in days. His eyes were droopy with bags under them and his hair was messy.
I was in Chester's room now. There were sports posters around the room and culinary and football trophies on his shelves. There were also some family pictures hanging around. Some of them with this woman that I was pretty sure was his mother.
"Chester, what's wrong? Everyone has been trying to contact you. Why aren't you at the pep rally?" Chester was laying on his back on his bed. He looked out of it.
"Chester, come on. You've been really distant from me lately. I thought we were friends. You can talk to me about anything." I lay down next to Chester, on my back too.
He looked like he was thinking hard about something. He finally talked after something clicked in his head.
"My brother relapsed."
I was silent. I didn't know what to say.
I can't imagine what must be going through Chester's head right now. He told me that his brother was doing better. No one at school knows about Chester's brother. He had no one to talk to about it.
"I thought your brother was doing better?"
"The doctors think it's bipolar depression passed down from my mom. I didn't know it ran in her family until recently. My dad told me the full story of what happened the day my mom died."
"Chester, it's ok if you don't want to speak about it," I tell him. The way his face morphed into pain made me ache for him.
"I want to. I've been holding onto this for a while and I need some way to let it out." He waits for me to object, but I just let him talk.
"Last week, when my brother relapsed, the doctor told me that he was battling with bipolar depression and when it gets bad, he starts using again. He told me that it was in my mother's genes before my dad could stop him."
"I kept begging my dad to tell me the story, but he wouldn't. That was until yesterday."
"When my mother died, my brother and I were told that it was a car accident, but what my dad told me yesterday was different. He told me that my mother was suffering from the same thing as my brother."
"Some days she would come home happy and other times she would come home depressed. He had to hide it from us. He told me that he had to stop her from cutting herself sometimes."
"One day when my father took my brother and I to a baseball game, my mother went to a lake, tied her feet to bricks, and jumped into the water."
I heard him trying to stay strong, but I pulled him into a hug and he let it all out.
"My mind is going crazy and I'm afraid I'm going to end up the same way as them."
"I'm not going to tell you that it's ok because I'm not in your shoes and I don't know what your going through. I don't like it when people tell me it's going to be alright when they don't know what I'm going through, so I won't say it to you. But I will say that you're not alone. You have me and I will always be here."
His crying muffles down and I just hug him close to me.
"Thank you, Spencer."
"Ice cream makes everyone feel better. Come on, let's go. You need some fresh air. Go take a shower and stuff."
He agrees with me and I step out of his room and wait for him downstairs.
"Thank you," I hear Chester's dad say when I come down stairs.
"I didn't do anything special. Just being a friend."
"What you did was more than special. I don't know if I would've been able to get him out of bed. I've seen you do more for him than his other friends and I've only met you once."
What Richard told me surprised me. That couldn't be true. I've only known him for a month and he's been friends with the crew for his whole life.
"Ready to go," Chester asks me when he comes downstairs. He was back to his old self again and looked a lot less gloomy.
"Hey, I just noticed your outfit, little wolf," Chester says playing with my werewolf ears.
"A pep rally was a good excuse to dress up as a werewolf." Chester lived close to an ice cream parlor, so we were walking there. Get some fresh air and just walk and talk.
"So, your telling me it wasn't for your boyfriend," Chester asks playfully.
"Let me think. At first I was doing it to show my support, but then at the end, it was mostly for me. I could've just wore school colors, but this is way cooler."
"You sure you rather be here with me instead of cheering him on right now," Chester asks me, while looking down at the ground.
"I honestly don't know why I said yes to being in a relationship with him."
"Then why did you?" I put his question on pause while we get our ice cream. He gets cookies n cream and I get cookie dough.
We keep on walking and eating our ice cream. We sit down when we find a park bench.
"After he asked me, the only thing that was going through my mind was "it's a good thing we don't know a lot about each other and it's better that way". I guess I just saw him as a safe bet."
"You guys never talk?"
"Not really. Honestly, you know more about me than he does. When I want to tell him something, it just doesn't feel right. Like, if I was having a day where I start having nightmares again and I was feeling bad, I didn't feel right telling him. And it's like he's blind to the point where he doesn't see when I'm hurting. And he keeps trying to take things to the next level. It's not like I'm against it or not ready for it. It just doesn't feel right."
"I don't think you should feel that way in a relationship," Chester tells me.
"Your probably right because if my last relationship taught me anything, it's that I'm bad when it comes to relationships and guys."
"Since we're on this subject and sharing things, I've always wanted to ask you what happened with your ex." Chester looked really hesitant to ask me.
I told him that he could trust me with anything and talk to me about anything, and that goes both ways. I don't know why, but I felt like I could talk to Chester about everything.
"It was after my brother left for college and the bullying started. After my brother left, it was basically open season on me. Everyone was just trying to destroy me."
"I was already dealing with my dad's death, my mom was never home, and I was trying to process my brother leaving me by myself. I didn't have anyone and people were constantly trying to embarrass me. I had my bestfriend, but she couldn't always be there for me and after what she did to me, I don't think I ever really had her by my side."
"One day, a girl poured milk on my head and Ryan, my ex, stood up for me. He gave me a change of clothes and told me to stay strong. He stayed by my side and I finally felt like I had someone. Of course, he was my brother's best friend and he was like a brother to me at first too."
"He made me feel safe. He became my best friend. He told me he liked me more than a friend and we went out on dates."
"After a while, he became my boyfriend. All the bullying stopped and no one bothered me. He took our relationship to the next stage and he took my virginity. I was in love with him and I thought everything was perfect."
"But the next day, he wasn't next to me to tell me goodmorning and he acted cold when I called him. I didn't see him or my best friend at school for half of the day, until I saw them making out in a little spot, enjoying themselves. "
All I could do was run until I couldn't anymore. I tripped on the concrete sidewalk and my knees bled out. I just sat there and watched my knees bleed. I didn't care if I died, but something saved me that day. A little sparrow reminded me that death wasn't a choice, but happiness was."
"So, I called my mom and now I'm here. You know. The usual highschool shit."