Mother, we have made it across Shanbeixi, and crossed into Huaijiang Clique territory. It won't be long until we made it to Xiangyang. We found relatively safe passage, it is still amazing to me the contrast between Genereal Cui's lands and the rest of China.
Under his masterful governing and compassionate rule, Shanbeixi is the only province which one can truly call safe and secure. Lacking banditry and impudent soldiers, Shanbeixi has also been the only province to not only remain secure despite the roaring engines of war devastating the rest of Shenzhou, but against all expectations, thrive.
It saddens me that I cannot become accustomed to this peace. And even greater that Zhongyi seems to be following my path.
But I cannot remain. There's no turning back now that I stepped across the border; there was no turning back when I left the farm; there was no turning back when I partook in the slaughters I was ordered to conduct; when I murdered my fellow countrymen at a whim; when I looted and sacked to survive; when I ate my comrades at Changping; when I revelled at my victories against Feng's men; when I abused my status for my own gain; when I was recruited to the Beixia Army; when I volunteered to be a soldier for the late General Pian Ruiqi;
When I left the farm.
On our way towards the border we came across only friendly passersby. Cui's men offered to escort us through their respective patrol areas, merchants offered to let us ride with them, fellow travelers provided us food and shelter. Especially novel were Occidental Missionaries. Never would I have ever expected for there to be men of the West so deep inland. I have seen plenty in my time with Beixia, foreigners were not uncommon in their territory. However, to be so far as Shanbeixi province, it takes weeks to traverse even on horseback, and the road and railroad infrastructure is so poorly connected and developed, especially in NPA territory, that you are better off on horseback alone or to travel with merchant caravans.
I never did tell you how I found my way back to the farm did I, mother?
Maybe I'll tell Zhongyi one day. Though it's not such a pleasant tale.
I don't like thinking about it.
The Missionaries' accents were decent enough. It isn't everyday a Westerner attempts learns the Dragon's Tongue, even if they spend decades living in the Dragon's Realm. Alas, it's not as if they learnt it without motive, not far into our conversation, they were already attempting to convert me and preach to me about their Princely Savior. Something about saving my soul from eternal damnation.
Marshal Feng is apparently a Chalcedonian of the Objectiest branch. So I didn't mind listening in on the missionaries during my time travelling with them. But much of what they espoused to me seemed very idealist and naïve. But such are the kind of beliefs that enthrall men's deepest trenches.
I did not want to disturb the missionaries any further with my cynicism. I am not a theologian, so who am I to debate those who are or question them.
Little brother asked me a few questions that I'm sure would've made you laugh.
"How can one God claim to be the master of the world? Not even a god is able to claim to know all of the workings of the universe! Only the natural order itself knows. Gods cannot be above the way of the world, aren't they just part of it?"
"Now they are saying that there's only one God? what about Xiangtian? Yusheng? Guantian? Do they mean that they aren't gods, but just higher beings living in the heavens then?"
"What! They're saying they don't exist?"
Always so many questions. A part of me is almost glad he came with me, makes my trip less dull.
Almost...