The following week was a blur. I felt like I was on cloud nine; my mind and body felt weightless. After all this time, we were done. We had no more enemies or demons to battle. We were free. I spent the week rejoicing while doing the things I enjoyed without having to look over my shoulder or have a constant black cloud looming over my head. Today is when I come down from my high and face reality again. This is my chance to have a new start. I'm not going to work looking for a sense of normalcy in my hectic life. No, today I am going to work looking forward to the rest of my future. Today is the day I start the rest of my life. Everything I have endured has led up to this moment.
Walking through the entrance hall, I stop and press the button for the elevator, a smile permanently etched on to my face. Commotion behind me catches my attention. Papers flutter in the air being pulled back down by gravity, a man sits on his butt, rubbing the appendage, and Amelia is racing towards me, throwing an unapologetic "sorry" behind her.
Catching up to me, her eyes are bright, a smile so wide, it stretches from ear to ear, contorts her facial features.
"Good morning," I greet, amusement lacing my tone.
"You will never guess what happened yesterday night," she starts, words flying passed her lips a mile per minute. "So, Duke wanted to take me out on a date. He came to my door dressed in a suit, a three-piece suit, mind you, and gave me a corsage. The flowers were beautiful, pink peonies, and the band was covered in rhinestones. It was beautiful. I tried to ask him what was going on. Obviously this wasn't a normal date, but he just shook off my question. Getting into the car, he held the door open for me and let me pick all the music. Me. You know, that never happens. Anyway, we finally got to the restaurant and it was super fancy. I mean, like, you-go-once-in-your-lifetime fancy. We walked in and the hostess was all ready for us and guided us to a secluded corner. The table had a candle on it and a bouquet of peonies, all different colors. He pulled out my chair for me, like a gentleman, and then we talked all throughout dinner. The only time we didn't talk was while ordering with the waiter." She stops to take a deep breath, giving me a minute to process everything she is saying.
"Then dessert comes. We usually don't splurge on dessert, you know? Neither of us are big on sweets and we would rather save what we can so we can move into a bigger place together. But, anyway, we ordered dessert and now Duke looks super nervous. I debated asking him if we needed to leave or split the bill or…or, I don't know, something to ease his mind. The next thing I know, he gets out of his chair, kneels in front of me, and pulls a black box out of his pocket.
"My heart stopped. Then, in the next second, it was like a bullet train. I swear it was trying to beat its way out of my chest; I felt like I was having a heart attack. Then he started saying all these sweet things about how he can't live without me and how he would be the happiest man on earth if he could call me his wife, and his plans for our future. The whole time, I'm trying not to start sobbing in the restaurant. Then, finally, he popped the question. And, guess what? I said yes!" She finally stops talking, although I'm not sure how voluntary it was since her smile was even wider than when she first came over here, so wide, in fact, that it looked as though her cheeks were about to split. She shoves her hand in my face, a big diamond gleaming back at me. The ring was beautiful, a diamond-encrusted band holding a gorgeous oval diamond that was further surrounded by small pink sapphire gemstones. It was breathtaking.
Looking back up at Amelia, her expression hasn't changed in the slightest. I swear, her smile was bigger than before, if that is even possible. I faintly hear the elevator ding behind us, but I'm too wrapped up in Amelia's confession that it doesn't fully register.
"Wow, Amelia. I'm so happy for you! You deserve all the love in the world. I am glad you and Duke found your way back to each other. You were made for each other," I say, meaning every single word. Amelia has been my friend through everything, she deserves someone who will always have her back and show her the world. I know Duke will be that person.
"Thank you!" Throwing her arms around me, she engulfs me into a hug. A tight one. Despite the strength this little woman was squeezing me with, I returned her embrace with just as much fervor. Pulling away, her wide smile is gone, instead her lips are twisted into a shy, uncertain one. "I- I was wondering, well, I know you have been through a lot, but - but it would mean a lot to me if you could - could be my maid of honor."
Her words shock me. I never thought I would be invited to someone's wedding, nevermind being their maid of honor! Taking my hesitation as a rejection, she lowers her head, her finger jabbing the elevator button.
"Amelia," I reply, turning her body so that she is looking into my eyes, "I would be honored to be your maid of honor! I am so, so happy for you! I can't wait until we start planning and pick out your dress. This is going to be so much fun and, at the end of it all, you will say 'I do' to the love of your life. That's something I don't want to miss."
"Really?"
"Really."
Finally, the elevator arrives as Amelia throws her arms around me for the second time in the past ten minutes. We stumble through the door, my back hitting the elevator wall.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! You don't know how much this means to me!"
"You don't have to thank me. It is a privilege that you would even think of me. I should be thanking you for letting me be a part of your special day."
Before she has a chance to reply, other employees load onto the elevator. By the time we reach my floor, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much.
____
Lunch with Amelia consisted of eating salads and wedding planning. She didn't want to hire a perfect stranger to plan her wedding and she didn't want to ask her family and burden them, even after I insisted that they wouldn't be burdened, so that left all the planning to her and Duke, something that was clearly overwhelming her. Her brain was scattered with different thoughts. One minute we were talking about the color theme she wanted, next the dress, then her vows and the fact that she hadn't written them yet.
"Amelia." My first attempt at catching her attention goes unnoticed so I try a little more forcefully. "Amelia." Still nothing catches her attention. I could see her stress start to climb to an all time high and feel slightly powerless. So, calling her name slightly louder than before with more force, I also touch her arm. This seems to pull her from her thoughts.
"One thing at a time. We will figure this all out together. We should make a vision board where you can hang up all your thoughts and see how everything pairs together. What do you think?"
"That sounds like a great idea, Rose. Thank you. Do you think we could start tomorrow night?"
"Of course!
With a plan made, we gathered our things and left the Cafe, throwing out our trash on our way. I felt elated to have the chance to thank Amelia for sticking with me through everything and I couldn't think of a better - or more stressful - opportunity.
The car ride is filled with more chatter about Amelia's wedding as she bounces ideas off of me with the promise that she will jot them all down when we get back to the office. I wasn't surprised that, as soon as we pulled into the parking lot, she ran like a madwoman into the building to do just that.
As for me, I leisurely strolled into the building. I was enjoying the manuscript I was currently reviewing, but I wasn't in a rush to get back to it.
Even with my relaxed attitude, it was only two minutes later when I arrived back at my office. The manuscript laid out against the wooden surface of my desk. Taking a deep breath, I picked up the page I left off on and continued my deep dive.
___
Turning the final page, the blank back stares up at me. Finished. And just in time, too, as Amelia comes to my door, purse in hand.
"Ready to go?"
"Yes, let me just grab my things."
Scribbling a quick review of the book on my notepad, I picked up my phone, keys, wallet, and tossed them inside my purse.
Together, we walked out and said our goodbyes in the parking lot.
The drive was quick - music blasting, windows rolled down, heat on. Instead of the normal view of cars in the parking lot, two figures take up my view. The same two figures that I see on a daily basis - the ones who have kept me sane or joined me in my insanity.
Turning the wheel, my tires turn into the space next to them.
Damon quickly comes to my side as I park the car, opening my door.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Come with us."
"Come? Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise."
With a shrug, I step out of the car, hug Brandon, and slide into the backseat of Damon's car.
Conflicting feelings rise within me as we take the familiar path to the cabin. Images of the last time I was on this road flash before my eyes, my hands shake, and my breathing becomes shallow.
Another mistake, stupid girl.
The snarky voice in my head, downs out the rising panic within me and gives me a moment to breathe and take in my surroundings. The boys sit in the front, Damon driving, Brandon messing with the radio, both oblivious to my internal struggle. They are here. They will keep me safe, even from myself. I am fine. They are fine. We are fine.
The closer we get to the cabin, the more my breathing returns to normal and, by the time, we reach the dirt road, a feeling of peace encompasses my body. My safe place. My haven.
"Can we stop?"
At my request, both boys look at me and then each other.
"Sure."
"I'll come with you."
Damon and Brandon speak at the same time.
Slowing the car to a stop, Brandon and I get out of the car. Gravel and broken branches crunch under my feet, the sound soothing.
"Are you okay?" Brandon asks, breaking the silence.
"Yes, I am more than okay. I miss coming here." Looking up at him, I smile to reassure him.
The remainder of our trek is quiet, only the birds' singing filling our ears as we reach the front door of the cabin. Brandon pushes the door open and I walk through first. Damon is standing in the middle of the living room, watching as we walk in. Crossing the room, he pulls me into his arms, his head in the crook of my neck. My favorite people in my favorite place.
I pull back from his arms and stand next to him, taking in my surroundings. Everything looks the same from before my accident. A pang of guilt shoots within me, but I quickly push it back down. I am on the mend. I am going to enjoy this and focus on the present and the future.
"Not that I don't love being here, but why are we here?"
"We wanted to spend the night, just the three of us, away from everything else," Brandon answers my question.
"Let's go outside," Damon adds once Brandon finishes.
The three of us walked through the back door, a gasp escaping passed my lips. A picnic sits underneath the willow tree with the makings of a bonfire a few feet away. It's wonderful.
"You did all of this?" I ask the boys.
"Yes," they answer simultaneously.
"It's beautiful!"
As Damon and I walk over to the traditional red and white checkered blanket, with a wicker basket sitting in the middle, Brandon goes over to the bonfire and lights it. Immediately, the area gets warmer, making it the perfect temperature. We pull out the impressive spread consisting of different types of sandwiches, pasta, potato, and fruit salads, and another salad consisting of iceberg lettuce, apples, walnuts, and apple vinaigrette. For dessert, graham crackers, chocolate bars, and marshmallows to make s'mores.
"Woah. This is a lot of food. You both went all out. Thank you. This is wonderful." I grab both of their hands to express my gratitude.
We stay like this for a moment and then begin dishing out the food. Only after all of our plates are overflowing with food, do we begin to eat. Conversation flows easy and there are multiple occasions where I have to put down my plate because I was laughing so hard. Everything with them is always so easy and words cannot express how grateful I am for the two boys on each side of me. They are my saving grace.
Once we are stuffed from dinner, we rest for a few minutes, looking at the gentle ripples on the surface of the lake. Two minutes of sitting like this and it's as if a lightbulb goes off in my head. I never mentioned Amelia's news!
"Amelia is getting married. She has asked me to be her maid of honor," I try to say it as calmly as possible, but I can't keep the excitement out of my voice.
Their heads whip in my direction.
Damon is the first to react, "wow. Maid of honor, huh? That's going to be a lot of work. Are you up for it?"
I don't need a minute to respond. "Of course! She has been with me through so much, this is the least I can do to repay her. I am genuinely happy for her and I want to help her as much as possible."
"Good for you. We will be here with chai tea for your late nights," Brandon responds.
The conversation continues as I talk about the details of the upcoming wedding. They both listen intently, offering input and reacting at different points. As the conversation shifts back to us and how we are going to spend the upcoming weekend, we roast the marshmallows over the warm fire and smoosh them between the other ingredients. My marshmallows come out completely burnt while the boys have them more brownish in color. Personally, burnt is the only way to eat it, but to each their own.
As we finish our third s'more, we are settled comfortably around the fire with a shared blanket draped across our laps. My head is resting against Damon's shoulder, a yawn passing my lips.
Of course he notices, even as I try to hide it. "Let's go inside, love."
"Just a little longer, please."
I dig myself deeper into Damon's side, Brandon keeping my other side warm. Once again the feeling of gratitude and love flows through my body, a content sign leaving me. I don't know what I would do without either of these men in my life, and I feel comforted by the fact that I will never have to know.