I had a good afternoon with my parents and since Darren knew about the pregnancy, I felt the need to tell them. Neither were surprised given who the father is, but Dad was still a little disappointed. He had hoped we have done things biblically, especially Darren is the son of a preacher. "Do his parents even know anything about this?" He asked.
"I don't know. His parents haven't spoken to him since the whole thing with Angie came out. And I haven't said anything. Amy might have, but I don't know."
"Speaking of Angie," Dad continued. "Did you two ever once consider her feelings? She is his wife."
"Dad, they're married, yes, but not together. She is still with Amir. Always has been. The baby she just had last night is Amir's baby, not Darren's. She has no interest in Darren."
Dad rubbed his eyes like he was tired. "Let me get this straight if I can. You are saying that Darren is married to Angie, but Angie is with Amir and Darren is with you. Yes?"
"Yes."
"Why on earth did they get married then?"
"Her dad forced it. He didn't want her with Amir."
"So, all y'all decided that it was better to live your lives out in adulterous relationships to appease the Governor rather than fight for what was right?"
Okay that stung. I hadn't put it in that perspective before. "Well, when you put it like that..."
"Y'all need Jesus." He huffed. I dropped my head in shame. Nothing I could do now; the damage is done. I hated seeing the disappointment in his face. I screwed up and I couldn't even blame the devil for it. He reached across the table and took my hand. "I love you, my sweet Erin. Always and forever. No matter what. Let's pray and give this mess to the Lord. He's the only that can fix this."
Yeah, I disappointed my parents, but they reassured me I hadn't been disowned and that we would get through it together. It felt good to pray with them, I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders. I had their forgiveness, I had Amy's forgiveness, I needed Darren's. And probably his parents'.
But first, I went by the hospital to visit Angie and her newborn son. I knocked lightly at her room and walked in without waiting for a greeting. I heard voices arguing in the room, so hung back behind the privacy curtain. The first voice I recognized as the grandmother I had met earlier. "Are you even listening to yourself, son?! Clearly this child is not her husband's."
"I don't care!" the male voice bellowed. The Governor, I assumed. "He'll claim it as his and that's the end of it! Where is the sumbitch anyway?"
"Why don't you annul this sham of a marriage and let your daughter be with the one she loves?"
"No child of mine will be hooked up with a friggen snake charmer!!" Oh my god, he said that?? What a pig.
"Being in a loveless marriage is a better alternative?? How do plan on explaining how your very white daughter and her equally white husband managed to produce such a dark brown baby?"
"I won't have to."
"Oh, so you think no one will notice?"
"Accidents happen. Ever hear of SIDS?"
"Daddy, please stop." I could hear the tears in Angie's voice. I figured it was time to shut them all up.
I pulled the curtain back a bit and stepped in. The grandmother saw me first, then Angie. "Hey!! I'm so glad you came to see me."
"Hey." I waved nervously and stepped closer. "I came to see how you were doing and I was also hoping to meet your son."
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded the man.
"Daddy!" Angie scolded. "This is my friend. Be nice for once."
"Hi, I'm Er..."
"Your daughter's friend," Mrs. Gershand interrupted given me a stern look to shut me up. "It's none of your business what her name is. Let's go and give them some privacy. She could use a pleasant visitor." She ushered him out the door closing it behind her. I could hear him protesting and her scolding as they walked down the hall.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that." She started, tears streaming down her ivory cheeks. "He's always been like that."
"How did he ever manage to get elected?"
"He plays dirty. I'll call the nurse to have Levi brought in now that Dad is gone."
"Your dad hasn't met him yet."
"Not really. I gave strict instructions that he could not have any time with him, so when they see him coming, they come get Levi and take him back to their nursery." She adjusted herself in the bed. "I am glad you came to see me. I want to make sure you know how much I appreciate Darren for taking me out of my father's house. He saved me by doing that. Dad has been awful about this whole thing."
"Well, I gather he doesn't care much for Amir."
"Only because he's Indian. He doesn't think races should mix."
"That's pretty effed up. Didn't think that was much of an issue these days."
"It's just him. Grandma is fine with it. I know Mom would be too if she were still around. I kept my pregnancy hidden for months because I knew he would flip out and try something stupid. I was already six and half months along when I told Darren and Daddy found out. He was furious to find out that it was too late to have an abortion. Even if it wasn't too late, I would have refused and that's why he roped Darren into marrying me. He shoved me down the stairs twice in hopes I would miscarry, which is why Darren took me home with him rather than move into the mansion. I'm sorry you guys got so hurt by this. I really do plan on divorcing him once I'm eighteen. Amir and I are going to leave this state and never look back."
This was ridiculously heartbreaking. This man would risk his daughter's health and life to get rid of his mixed breed grandson? I'm glad Darren married her out of that. I was filled with anger and pity. It's crazy what this girl has had to endure. Sure makes me appreciate the loving and supportive parents I have. "This may sound cruel, but have you ever thought of going public with this. It would damage his career, but it may free you from both him and this unwarranted marriage."
"I have, I just don't know how. Just about everyone I can think of is on his payroll, you know? I'm afraid that if I do anything now, he will find a way to take me back home and that would be bad for Levi." she twisted her fingers together nervously. "I don't know what else to do but wait for my birthday. Oh, here comes my little Levi." The nurse wheeled a bassinette in and parked it near Angie's bed. She then took the baby and put him in her arms. Angie's face brightened giving her a pure angelic appearance. "Isn't he just perfect?" she cooed. "You wanna hold him?"
"Sure. I'd love to." She handed him to me, and I was instantly mesmerized by his adorable features. He certainly did look like Amir with a full head of black hair and dark skin. He peered up at with his dark eyes almost like he was deciding whether I was friend or foe. "Gosh, he is tiny."
"Five pounds. He's a month or so early, but he's good. I'll be able to take him home tomorrow."
"Oh, my goodness! He is so gorgeous. Good job, Mom."
"I wanna thank you," she rested a hand on my arm. "For being so nice to me. You have every right to angry with me for taking Darren away from you and yet you're not. I don't know that I could have handled my Amir marrying someone else no matter the reason."
"I wish I could say I handled it better than I did. But I've known Darren most of my life, so I chose to believe him when he told me y'all's story. I didn't like it, it hurt, but I believed it and tried to understand."
"I'm sorry."
"No need. What I heard your dad say today put everything in perspective. I'm glad Darren took you out of that situation. Can you forgive me for not understanding before now? And for... well, sleeping with your husband?"
She laughed. "Of course! Nothing to forgive. It's not like I'm ever going sleep with him."
"Still, it's disrespectful to both of you. I should've waited until he could be mine. I'm sorry."
"Seriously, Erin. It's okay. I've been with Amir this whole time. Amir is the only one I have ever been or will ever be with intimately. My marriage to Darren is nothing more than a piece of paper. A temporary sanctuary for me. Prison for him. If it hadn't had been for my father, Darren would be your husband, not mine. If anyone needs forgiveness here, it's me. And I pray you can forgive me for what I've done to you both."
I offered a smile and handed her son back to her. I kissed her forehead and whispered. "Already done." I left the hospital and went to Amy's house. She was feeding Josh when I arrived and by the looks of him, I guessed it was peas. "Just went to see Angie in the hospital."
"And?"
"Her son is adorable. Looks just like Amir."
"Yeah, well, I heard that her dad won't let Amir anywhere near the baby."
"Well, he's a dick alright. Angie told some stories that are just plain awful. She said Darren saved her and the baby's life by marrying her."
"I'd believe it."
"Hey, change of subject here a bit. What do your parents say about all of this? I mean, are they talking to Darren at all yet. I know they were pretty upset at first."
"Yeah, they were angry to say the least. But only because they didn't know the story."
"Do they know the story now?"
"They've heard it but I don't think they believe it yet."
"I see. That's kinda sad in a way."
"They don't know about you either." She added. "I didn't tell them anything and since they aren't speaking to him still, I doubt he has said anything either."
"Should I?"
"No. It's gotta come from Darren." Hmmm. You know, I totally decided I needed to visit their parents. Oh, I wouldn't tell them about being with their son, but I needed to know why his preacher parents were having such a hard time forgiving their son, whether they believed his story or not. Doesn't their profession imply a 'forgiving' nature? I should probably stay out of it, but I probably won't. I'm stupid like.
My phone chirped with a message. Darren. "Had dinner yet?"
"Not yet. You buying?"
"I can. Rushings?"
"Sure. Give me ten."
"See ya there." I excused myself from Amy to meet up with Darren. We had a nice dinner together. It was, after all our first real date. Talk about getting things out of order. We filled the evening with small talk and reminiscing over many of our childhood interactions. It was refreshing to hear his side of the some of the memories I hold so dear. Turns out, he's had a thing for me, almost as long as I have for him. I think I was about 7 or 8 when I decided he was the one for me and according to him, he was fourteen when he figured he would marry me. He said it was why he licked the ice cream off my face. He was marking me his. Yeah, I thought it was funny too. Crazy guy. Once the waiter removed our finished plates, he put a small box on the table and pushed it towards me.
"If that's a ring," I said. "I can't take it. You know I can't."
"Just open it before you reject it. It's not an engagement ring, I promise."
I opened it. It was a ring. His high school class ring. 'Oh my god, he is so stinkin cheesy. How could I not love him?' "Your class ring? You're giving me your class ring?"
"Yeah, as a promise that when I am no longer bound to the Governor's daughter, I will come back for my ring and replace it with a wedding ring."
I started to cry. Stupid hormones. "Darren, I..." I looked into those deep blue eyes of his, "Will you forgive me?"
"For what?" he looked hurt.
"For not waiting for you. For disrespecting you and your family, your wife. For carrying your child out of wedlock. For all of it. Forgive me?"
"Of course! There's nothing to forgive."
"You're a preacher's kid. You know full well, what we've done is wrong."
His shoulders dropped. "I guess. So, can you forgive me? For having a wife in the first place? Even a wife I don't want and 'cheating' on her with you?"
"Of course," I giggled. "What a pair we are, huh." I took the ring. It was too big for any of my fingers, so I put it on the necklace chain with my heart locket. "I'll keep it with my heart until I can have you. The right way."
"Wait! What's that?" He said reaching for my necklace.
"A locket. Your sister gave it to me for my birthday."
"May I see it?"
"Sure." I took it off and handed it to him.
He seemed to inspect the detail. "Did it come with a key?"
"I'm sure it did, but she didn't give it to me. She said 'the right one' would have it." I smiled. "She's so cheesy sometimes."
"Yeah," he sniggered. He reached into his shirt drawing out the gold chain she had given him earlier that day. It bore a small key shaped pendant on it. "This came with a note saying, 'the right one' would have the treasure this key unlocks." We both laughed.
"Wanna see if it works?"
"Yeah? Okay." He put the key into my locket and opened it up. "Oh my god. She is so crazy. I didn't even know there was a picture of that! How embarrassing!"
"A picture of what? Let me see." He handed it over giggling to himself. I looked at what was inside. On the right was an inscription reading 'Meant to Be'. On the left was a picture of fourteen-year-old Darren licking ice cream off ten-year-old me's face. "Oh. My. God. Why does this picture exist?? That's too funny. What a joker she is." I snapped the locket shut and put it back on, tucking it into my shirt as he did the same with the key.
"It's destiny," he said. "We are meant to be together."
"You know we can't be together, as much as I really, really want to be, we can't anymore. Not until this mess gets resolved."
"I was afraid you were gonna say that. But I guess you're right. I don't like it, but you're right." He walked me to my car and kissed my forehead. Oh, how my body burned to know him. I hugged him as tightly as I could, never wanting to let go. I cried at the unfairness of it all, I wept for Angie and Amir, for Darren and his parents and for my own unborn child. We had certainly found ourselves tied up in knots and I had no idea how any of it was going to work out. For the first time since this whole mess began, I was determined to trust God with it and let go of my wants. I pulled away apologizing for getting his shirt wet. "I'm used to it." He said with a smile. "I love you, Kid."
"I love you too, Old Man."
The next morning was Sunday so I chose to attend the church Darren's dad preached at. As I sat through the sermon, I prayed for guidance in the conversation I was planning to have with them. By the end of it, I had decided it best to leave without talking to them about Darren. I instead wrote a scripture referencing something in Matthew 6 on a prayer request card, put it in an offering envelope I had addressed to them as 'private' and dropped it in the offering bucket on my way out. For once I was going to let Wisdom win over my stupidity. I drove back home that day feeling at peace for the most part but still a bit discouraged that I couldn't have what I wanted.