-Taehyun-
I stepped out of the room after saying this. Keep on walking without looking back or caring about my mother's broken cries.
That's all I can say, what else can I do?
How can a father be cruel to his child?
Was I born a monster? Is he a monster?
He wants to leave me without apologizing? So?
That's why I said, "just let him die." I whispered.
"JUST LET HIM DEAD !!! AAARRRGGGHHH !!! " I shouted after holding back all the tears so no one could be seen. I screamed so loudly that nature swallowed my screams. The only place that crossed my head while driving earlier was Han Sang cliff.
My knees have joined the earth because of my tightness. I beat my chest to reduce the tightness while crying out loud.
"You can share it with me, Father. You can tell me that. All. Anything. Why are you silent? Why did you keep it to yourself? Even though I can't solve your every problem but I can listen to you all the time, "
"ONLY IF YOU WANT TO START TALKING TO ME! AARRGH! " I shouted once again.
Since childhood, he never touched me like other fathers, did not see me, worried about me and even glanced at me. He should know that I've always missed him since long ago, but why doesn't he understand that even after 25 years have passed?
Mother must be crying again. Crying because he regretted not taking care of him properly even though he had risked everything to look after his father. That's why I left there, just so I wouldn't add to her sadness with my tears.
Even now, he is still cruel to us even now. Wants to leave us silently without a word of forgiveness for all the sins he committed. Good, just die!
"ME AND MY MOTHER DO NOT NEED YOU, OLDER!" I closed.
* * *
"Jinwoo-ya, uri Taehyunie."
Jinwoo had sat beside Madame Kwon as she burst into tears after Taehyun left. He reassured his best friend's mother, "Don't worry about him, auntie. Taehyun just needs time alone. He will be fine when he comes back. There are things he can't point out here, that's why he left. "Jinwoo replied as he returned the grip of Mrs. Kwon's hand.
"Where's Taehyun?" asked Mino who just came again.
"He's not back yet? Tch, that kid. " he continued.
"Dong Mino-ssi, please check my kidneys too." Prevent Eunsoo from seeing Mino coming out of the waiting room.
Eunsoo's words not only made Mino surprised but everyone there was also surprised to hear it.
"If my kidneys match President Kwon's, just use mine. After all, the president's health is everyone's priority right now, including mine. " Connect Eunsoo.
"Eunsoo-ya." called Madame Kwon gently.
"It's okay, Eommonie. This is all I can do for Taehyun and this family, because I can't wipe away his tears or give my shoulder to support him. " Eunsoo smiled gently. Madame Kwon pulled Eunsoo into his arms.
"He should just be my future wife." said Seungyoon who immediately got hit on the head by Seunghoon,
"Yes! Hyung! " Seungyoon protested.
"You want to be killed by President Kwon for taking his son-in-law?" whispered Seunghoon to which Seungyoon answered with a clumsy smile.
* * *
The feared President Kwon now looks helpless on the bed with various cables and small tubes filling his body. Mrs. Kwon is waiting for her husband who is sleeping as a result of the anesthetic that is injected through an IV line. Mino did it in order to restore President Kwon's stamina after getting President Kwon's lab results.
"Mother." Call Taehyun who entered the ward of President Kwon.
"Ah, Taehyun. You have eaten?" Mrs. Kwon's first question was when she saw her son return.
"Why are you still here?" asked Taehyun. He fixed Eunsoo's blanket and put the jacket he took off on his mother while rubbing his hands on her arms to warm her up.
"Waiting for your father is also waiting for you to return." replied Mrs. Kwon.
Taehyun was silent, he looked at President Kwon's bed while sitting on the armrest of the sofa where Madame Kwon sat right next to him.
"Taehyun-ah." call Madame Kwon.
"Hmm?" he replied briefly.
"Do you remember when you were in middle school when you asked mom about something?" Madame Kwon held the back of her son's hand gently until Taehyun looked away, staring at Madam Kwon's sad face.
"I forgot." Taehyun replied briefly. Even so, he tried to remember what he asked first.
"Ah. I asked why there were always two pairs of my clothes even though I wasn't twins, but mom never answered my question and just gave a smile while stroking my head. " Taehyun recalled.
"Mother will answer now." Miss Kwon replied softly.
"Mother accidentally bought two pairs of the same clothes because of your father." He continued.
"Because of dad?" Taehyun repeated in surprise.
"Every night until early morning, your father slept less to watch over you. Take his work to your room while waiting for you to sleep. He watches if you cry in the middle of the night because of nightmares, thirst or wet the bed. Carry you and change your clothes that are wet from the wet. In order not to get caught if he's taking care of you, he will change into the same clothes you wore before. Because of that, I always overdo your clothes when buying new ones. " Madame Kwon recalled.
"He loves you more than his own life, Taehyun-ah." Madame Kwon started to sob.
"Your father, is just a person who is not good at expressing his feelings. He may never love me as his wife but he loves you very much as his son. You are his pride. Everything he got while building the Kwon Group, he prepared for you and your future. " Mrs. Kwon continued, interrupted by sobs.
"Your father is an ice cream addicted, because Eunhye-ssi likes ice cream and died when they ate ice cream together, but after you were born, he stopped touching ice cream. Trying to forget his love as long as you are at this time. You're the reason he did it. " Mrs. Kwon's voice was hoarse because of her crying.
"So far, the one who made me cry the most was you, not your father. You're too cruel to punish him for something you don't understand. " Close Madame Kwon.
Taehyun swallowed his saliva hard because he was surprised to hear the story that he never knew before from Mrs. Kwon but he did not easily accept the story, tending to reject the reality that was just revealed by Mrs. Kwon.
"Lie!" Taehyun moved from sitting next to Madame Kwon, to now kneeling in front of his mother. Staring closely at his mother's eyes, "If it's like what you told me, why didn't he talk to me? Why did he act like I was his enemy? Why, Mom? "
"Because for him it is the punishment he deserves from you for hurting me." Madame Kwon touched Taehyun's face with both hands. Her face was wet with tears that didn't stop flowing.
"Try talking to him first, my son. Until when are you going to hold a grudge against him? Soften up. Just once. Talk to him just once. He's just as tormented as not being able to touch his own son. " Madame Kwon's gaze returned to her son.
Taehyun grabbed Mrs Kwon's hands and put them on her mother's lap, she stood without speaking and started walking towards the exit. Taehyun staggered because he felt his leg muscles couldn't support his body.
"Taehyun-ah." called Madame Kwon but there was no reaction from her son who kept walking.
"Eommoni." Eunsoo grabbed Mrs Kwon's hand, who was immediately replied to hold Eunsoo's hand tightly.
"You heard everything? Please follow Taehyun, Eunsoo-ya. " asked Madame Kwon. It's true, Eunsoo hasn't really slept anymore since Mrs. Kwon's sobs broke.
"But, Eommoni."
"I'm fine but Taehyun isn't. Follow him, Eunsoo. "
* * *
Each step now brings her memory back to every rude behavior she gave her father.
"Before meddling in my business, I WAS ME AS YOUR CHILD!"
Taehyun shouted when he refused to be arranged with Eunsoo. Given that the steps are getting heavier.
"I won't stop being friends with them as long as you are still friends with those spoiled ajushi. Young people who make mistakes are considered as self-seeking and used as learning, but if you who are old make mistakes like young people, you don't know your name, Dad? "
His steps stopped, sobbing alone on the emergency steps of the hospital. As soon as her feet were heavy, she stepped up the stairs to the top with the past that passed through her head making her chest even more tight.
"Don't talk as if you can educate your own child. Saying like that makes you look more disgusting, president Kwon Jiyong. " the words he said when president Kwon insulted Choi Seungyoon.
Her tears wouldn't stop even though she didn't want to cry. Standing stiffly on the roof of the building with his head bowed after remembering all his rude behavior towards president Kwon.
"Just let him die."
The words he said a few hours ago made his knees lose strength until he finally knelt on the cold floor of the hospital roof.
Eunsoo who managed to find Taehyun, walked quickly over to Taehyun and knelt down in front of Taehyun. Pulling the man into her arms and crying with her without saying a word. Letting that man release all the burdens in his heart in his tears.
"It was not him and Yoon Eunhye who took away my little happiness, but I was wasting it myself." Taehyun raced between his tears.
"I WAS LIVING IT!" Taehyun shouted as he hit his chest.
Seeing Taehyun hit his chest, Eunsoo grabbed the hand even though Taehyun struggled. Eunsoo also tightened his hug, trying to make his man calmer.
Poor Kwon Taehyun, this is your bad luck. Grudge.
* * *
"Don't let the grudge get over you because it's useless. You think grudging will make the person you hate suffer? Not! only you will be hurt with revenge. Am I wrong?"
- Yoon Eunsoo--
"Grudging does not improve you, it fixes the person you hold dear. You will be the losers, while the people you hold will be lucky. So, stop being a vengeful person unless you want to lose money."
- Kwon Taehyun -
* * *
The night breeze and Taehyun's heavy, rough breath dominated Eunsoo's hearing, even though the sound of vehicles passing by below was quite clear because Seoul's rush hour was still going on.
Eunsoo is still in his position after making sure Taehyun is calmer than before. He looked at Taehyun, who was stiffly bowed, didn't know whether Taehyun was thinking about something or if his mind was blank. He didn't have the courage to move from his place, afraid that he would disturb Taehyun's current state.
Just a moment ago Taehyun seemed to be at his weakest point, crying like someone who regrets everything that happened to his life. But right now, Taehyun looks very cold and hard to reach.
"I will go if you feel uncomfortable with my presence." Finally Eunsoo dared to open his voice, unfortunately Taehyun did not respond to Eunsoo, he was still down.
1 minute. 2 minutes. Eunsoo moved from his place.
"Why are you holding out?" Taehyun asked suddenly stopping Eunsoo who started to leave.
Eunsoo was too surprised by Taehyun's question that he was silent as he put his knees back on the cold floor of the rooftop.
"Why are you still holding out after everything I did to you, Yoon Eunsoo?" Taehyun repeated his question while raising his face until his two jealous hazel met Eunsoo's.
"You didn't answer." Said Taehyun who averted his gaze.
"Eommoni." Eunsoo replied briefly.
Taehyun looked back at Eunsoo to hear his continued words, "I survived because of a mother's request. Your mother who asked me to stay by your side. " Eunsoo continued.
"My mom?" Taehyun asked in disbelief. During this time, he believed that his mother might be very hurt whenever he saw Eunsoo because of his face that resembled Eunhye, the woman who became his eternal rival.
"Right. Your mom even asked me to see psychiatrist Lee to understand you. " Eunsoo answered.
"Understand me?" Taehyun asked again.
"Understanding that you are still the same Kwon Taehyun as Kwon Taehyun who is 5 years old, all harsh treatment, sharp words, killing eyes and even minimal sensitivity is something you are forced to do to hide your weakness and weakness from others." Eunsoo explained as he looked closely at the man in front of him.
"And even sadder, you even hide your vulnerability in front of your own mother." continued Eunsoo.
"Psychiatrist Lee told me that you are an immature child, whining through violent behavior, crying through his sharp words and seeking attention by being the best among your friends. You did that not to prove that you were okay to the world but you did it to convince yourself that you were okay and that you would always be okay. Lee's psychiatric analysis made me re-analyze you and start agreeing with what he said. " Eunsoo recalled Jinwoo's words when he met him.
"Then, what did my mother say when she heard it?" asked Taehyun.
"Your mother begged me to hold on. He suppressed his feelings for Aunt Eunhye for reigning in President Kwon's heart just so that you can make peace through my presence among you. Your mother felt that she was the obstacle to the relationship between you and President Kwon. " Eunsoo recalled.
Hearing Eunsoo's answer, Taehyun stood up and turned his back to Eunsoo. Making the woman ask herself about Taehyun's attitude.
"Don't take my mother's request too seriously. If it becomes a burden for you, you can go. " closed Taehyun. Then, he walked towards the door.
"What if it's me who doesn't want to go?" Eunsoo raised his voice until Taehyun heard and stopped in his tracks.
"What if I want to be beside you?" His voice sounded heavy because it was holding back the clear liquid that had filled his eyelids. He stood up but kept his head down because he didn't want to see Taehyun's back disappear behind the door.
But suddenly warmth spread not only around his face but that warm feeling was felt all over his body. Both Taehyun's palms were already on the sides of Eunsoo's cheeks, touching them gently.
"Repeat. repeat what you said earlier. " Taehyun asked softly.
"Wh-what if it's me who doesn't want to go away from you, Kwon Taehyun?" Eunsoo repeated stammering and the tears came back down his face.
Taehyun looked Eunsoo's eyes. The woman could feel the depth of Taehyun's gaze right now. Slowly the hand that touched his cheek moved around his neck and pulled his head so that their lips touched and linked. Eunsoo again felt the sincerity of Taehyun's kiss this time. Sincere.
The two of them withdrew after kissing for a long time. Eunsoo looked down to take a breath, while Taehyun leaned his head on the top of Eunsoo's head, "Saranghajimayo, Yoon Eunsoo. Naega anhimyeon. " He said then which made Eunsoo's eyes rounded, surprised by Taehyun's words.
"I. I don't know where to start. Mianhae, gomawo oraranghae, but I'll still start. I will start to learn to understand and love you, Eunsoo. Enough with my father, I do not want to study him to injure myself. However, that won't happen to you again. So, while I'm learning to love you, don't love if it's not me, Eunsoo. " He said.
"No way, Taehyun!" answered Eunsoo. The woman started to look up to see Taehyun who just confessed to him.
Hearing Eunsoo's answer made something that had never been felt before quickly spread throughout Taehyun's body, making both ends of his lips pull upwards without trying to hold them back. Taehyun's first sincere smile.
* * *
President Choi entered President Kwon's ward when Mrs. Kwon was not there. President Choi deliberately stopped by the hospital to see how his best friend was before he started his busy day.
"You are okay?" asked President Choi.
"Hmm." President Kwon replied briefly.
"Why did you hide it? Especially from me. " continued president Choi.
"We are no longer children. You, me and the others have their own responsibilities and lives now. Besides, if I let you know, she will cry again because of me. Simply not giving him a place in my heart makes me a bad guy, telling him about my pain will only keep him crying all night. I have absolutely no right to receive her tears after all this time she's been caring for Taehyun alone. " President Kwon answered.
"Is the Kwon Jiyong I knew back before?" President Choi teased.
"Ha ha ha. I've never been anywhere, idiot. " President Kwon replied.
"You have to obey all that is suggested by Mino. Don't be rude, just shut up and do it. You understand?".
"Aigoo, the older you get more nagging." His curses made both of them giggle.
"Come in, Taehyun. I've finished talking to your father. " Said president Choi.
The door opened and Taehyun walked in with a slight bow. He raised his head when he arrived in front of the two old men.
"I will leave two bodyguards in front of this room, so that you do not escape." President Choi continued, staring suspiciously at President Kwon.
"I'm not a kid anymore, Choi!" President Kwon protested.
"You are not a child but you are a crazy old man." President Choi replied, greeted by President Kwon's chuckle. President Choi left the room to make room for the father and son to talk.
Taehyun was still standing in front of president Kwon's bed, "Is there anything you want to talk to me about? Why is your gaze like that? " open President Kwon.
"Do I have to have a good reason to be able to see my father?"
Taehyun's words succeeded in making President Kwon shut up. "Father." she called later in a different tone than usual, soft but still strong.
"Am I a monster? Ah. I'm a monster. " The mess.
"How could I not have noticed? I should be sure that when you carried me as a child, it was not just a dream or realizing that your hand was injured repairing my wooden car. " Taehyun's sobs began to be heard, he drowned his head with a deep bow.
"But I closed my eyes at that time and didn't realize your affection started with those trivial things. I'm sorry, father. I'm sorry that I became a monster because of my revenge. " Taehyun continued.
"Hold your head up, Kwon Taehyun." President Kwon's orders.
"None of Kwon's descendants are weepy. Wipe your tears and do as you always do. Whatever path you and I take, you are still my pride and I am still your father. No one can change that reality, not yourself or me. There is no one worse than the person who weeps over the past. So, don't cry over the past and what happened then. There is no need to say sorry because it is not only children who make mistakes, parents can also make mistakes. Do you understand, Taehyun? " President Kwon explained who made Taehyun silent.
"Come closer, yeobbo." Call president Kwon.
Taehyun turned his gaze to Madame Kwon whose face was already wet with tears. Taehyun didn't realize his mother was there, didn't know how long Madame Kwon had been standing there listening to the conversation between president Kwon and Taehyun. He was also quite surprised to hear President Kwon call his mother 'yeobbo'.
"Why are you crying? Aigoo this infusion makes my hands feel sore. Yeobbo, can you help me move my hand and massage it slowly? " continued President Kwon.
Madame Kwon was still stunned because she was surprised to hear the affectionate call from President Kwon. "Eomma!" Taehyun, who noticed Madam Kwon's surprise, called him firmly.
"Yes? ah, alright. " he replied while wiping his tears and drying his face with a handkerchief that was in his hand, then walked to the left side of President Kwon's bed. Take his place and start massaging the tips of President Kwon's fingers. For a moment he felt stiff to touch President Kwon's hand. How could she not, she almost never touched the hand of the man who had been her husband throughout Taehyun's age.
"Don't cry, I'm trying to sleep." said president Kwon because Madame Kwon was sobbing again after touching the hand that he had missed caressing for all this time.
"Sorry." Replied Mrs. Kwon. Instead of stopping crying, her tears fell even more profusely but Mrs. Kwon bit her lower lip to hold back her sobs.
Eunsoo who had been standing in front of the door was about to enter, holding his hand so that the door didn't open wide and smiling after listening to the conversation inside. A sense of happiness overtook him when he saw the family he had met at the beginning looked so devastated but now began to unite.
"Eunsoo-ssi?" call Mino.
Eunsoo closed the door again and saw Mino standing near him. He gave Mino a questioning look.
"Can you come with me? We have something to talk about. " Mino answered.
* * *
"Past mistakes should not be mourned for. Whether it's because of your fault or someone else's fault. Apologizing first will pave the way for correcting the mistake on its own, due to the fact that someone who apologizes first will never look cheap."
- Kwon Taehyun -
Continued....