Before having 2 mothers, I only have a mother in my past life. My sperm donor is out of the picture after a few visits at home.
We were not rich and in the Philippines, if you don't have a degree you better try being a domestic helper or construction worker abroad to have a better quality of life.
My mom did that for as long as I can remember and my sperm donor was an engineer but it does nothing good as he just left without any care for his seeds.
My mom was great actually, she cared and sacrificed her life for us but the sad part is that my extended family is like leaches, who sucked all my mother's money.
Well, that would include me in later years because I sucked at living my life to the fullest. I sucked so much that I feel guilty being happy with my new life and did not even get the chance to turn my life around to even just give something back.
I chose the easy way out because I can't help the feeling of always being so anxious, helpless, tired, numb, and empty. I wanted to just end it all and let them forget me and continue to live their lives.
Why did I give up, why did I not feel anything anymore, why does it feel better to just read and live in the protagonist's life, why does my brain feel so empty, why do the colors around me not as bright as they used to, why can't I feel loved and why can't I be happy and motivated?
I just wanted to be normal, I just want to finish school and work and then enjoy life. Why can't I do that? Why did no one help me? Why did no one ask me why I stopped trying? Why did they keep on assuming that I'm just lazy and just keep on nagging me? Why did it feel like they just kept on belittling me and not comforting me?
I just wanted someone to comfort me, support me, understand me and help me but no one did come to that. Maybe that's I was happier with my mothers.
They loved me before I was even born. They are always there for me. They don't belittle me for being dazed or confused. They don't compare me to others. They let me feel that they always got me even if the world does not like me.
My life sucks so much before because no one was there when I was spiraling. I wish I was dead every day because I felt they do not care. I wish that maybe someone would understand that depression is not acting and it is real. It is not just part of my imagination and just can't be rid of by just going to church because I tried and it just drive me into jumping into the mountains in the middle of the night so no one could find my body.
Maybe this next life means I'd be happier. I know it won't be perfect but I think my mothers won't leave me and to be honest being a vampire and living a slow life is the best gift that I have received from the gods and goddesses.
My first mother, Charlotte Maeve De Angelis Sangre, is a blond tall woman, she is the heir to the Sangre food and drinks corporation. She honestly looks like Rosalie from twilight just calmer and doesn't hate humans. She always has this childish outlook on life and she seems to be cold to other people but she said it was her boss's face. She always goes home on time and before my 30th birthday, she was there for me.
Yes, 30th because our kind of vampire grows slower than humans. 10 years for humans are just a year of growth for vampires. Life as a baby was not fun but thank God I just remembered bits and pieces of it. My brain is not always online at that time and maybe because of the slower brain development but I remember coddling my moms and drinking pink milk and thank god magic exists because my nasties are gone before I even start crying.
My second mother, Sylvia Lucille De Angeles Sangre, is a redhead with a similar height to my other mother. I also call her mommy since I use mama for my other mother. She usually stays home with me because she works in real estate and stocks. So she can work at home and stay with me. I have some nannies but she still eats with me and plays with me.
I can remember eating some flowers in the garden that one time she got a call and she vampire ran on me to grab my hand. It was funny at that time because how was I supposed to know that vampire babies can not eat solid food until 3? But yeah my mom panicked and called my other mom and they call all the family members asking for their doctors. (P.S. It was the flowers in the salads and my baby brain wanted to try it.)
My moms are overprotective because I was their first baby for over 500 years of trying. Yes, 500 because well it is hard for them to be both girls and there are plenty of requirements to conceive. So, I don't know if I'm going to have any siblings after me. I have plenty of cousins though and I already experienced having a sibling in my previous life. So, no problem for me.
Now that I'm about 15 years old in human years I can go to my previous dorm to meet my previous friends. It was a struggle to convince my whole family to let me go to school but well I cried and begged for many years before today.
They let me go as long as one of my family members would stay near my dorm, I call every day, they visit whenever they wanted and one of my family members is in my school. Do I feel suffocated? No, I like that they care about me that much and I'm clingy too so we love each other.
I think because I'm only 15 years old in human years that my emotions are so heightened. I enjoyed it anyway so no complaints. I just hope my old and new roommates will cope and will still like me as before.