"Yeah...I'm not staying here anymore. I know I have you guys to be there for, but...I hate this place. I can't be here with Luca here."
"So moving to a state where his girlfriend resides is the best possible option?"
"Well, at least I can hit her if I want to and have a fair chance of winning."
"You're crazy, Lexi. Too crazy."
I rolled my eyes and continued shoving clothing into my suitcase. Isabella and Jade were standing off to the side on their phones. Natalia was trying to help me, but I could hear in her voice she really did think I was crazy. Maybe I wasn't better. It hasn't been long since I got my kids back. I should rest, but I can't sit still.
"Nat, hon, I may be crazy, but I know what I don't want right now," I said. "And that's to be here when Luca gets out of prison."
"It's not like he can come within five feet of you. The restraining order is for 4 years. Or until you need him."
"I won't need him. I don't want him."
"You say that now, but I bet you will want him. It may not be for the reason you're thinking, but I assure you you're gonna want him around."
I huffed and threw a shirt in the suitcase. "Are you really my friend, Natalia?"
"Of course I am," she responded. "I'm just putting that out there. And your life is going to be different when you get to Manhattan. I don't want you rushing into things."
"I'm not."
"You're taking your kids with you and they've barely seen you not busy."
Today would mark the best thing I've ever done in my life. It may not be the smartest thing I've done, but at least it was getting me away from Luca. He was in jail for a year. A year! What would that do to him? He would get out and come searching for me and the kids. I have no doubt he'll stalk me until his probation is over. It's only a matter of time before he does something crazy.
With or without my friends' help, I'm going to leave. I'm going to be free of his watchful eye. It's not easy being a single mother of two with another living with his father who's probably millions of miles away already. I don't like the feeling of weakness. Especially since I'm going back to the city I told myself I'd stay away from. I'm such a hypocrite.
Thanks to Brad, I was going to make a smooth transition this weekend. He was going to look after Luxury Therapy for me while I get settled. Even though I'd still be receiving most of the profits, he was going to set aside some of it for us to expand in New York in the coming years. We didn't know what was going to happen in my first year back there.
"Fine!" I blurted out. "You're sort of right, Nat. I am moving too fast, but you have to understand that I'm not like any of you. I don't have the mental stability to keep living the way I am now. My kids need me while I'm in my right mind."
"You call this being in your right mind?" Bella butted in. "We're always going to be here for you, but this is going too far."
"We know Luca isn't getting the punishment he deserves, but at least you can think about how we might feel. You can't just up and leave like we're nothing!" Jade reasoned. "We take care of your kids when you're busy. Who are you going to call on if you move thousands of miles away?"
"See? I don't wanna say it, but I told you so," Natalia muttered.
"Jade, would you stay here if you suddenly wanted nothing to do with you and you knew he could get anyone and keep his old life, all the while making you look like you depended on him?"
"...Yeah. I'm not weak and my boyfriend doesn't even stay here."
She wasn't getting it. None of them were. I was trying to be reasonable. Who wants to be twenty minutes away from the man who ruined you? Who wants to drive past the prison where the man who ruined you is? It's already annoying that he said he'll fight to get the kids again. I wasn't going to allow that as long as I had custody of them.
And--I'm being completely honest with myself--I like running away. Just to get away from it all. Life will definitely be better when--
"What were we talking about again?" I asked.
The girls stared at each other like I'd really asked them a surprising question. What? I just remember packing and Jade said something. I can't quite remember.
"Nothing," Bella said. "Just keep packing. We'll take the kids out for a bit."
"I thought we were going out for lunch."
"Another time, babes." Natalia kissed my cheek.
"Another time," Jade agreed. "As of right now, I have to get back to work. I'll send someone by to make sure you aren't doing anything too crazy."
"What could I possibly do alone?"
"Plenty. Have fun, baby. Lunch tomorrow?"
"Definitely. Love you!"
⭕⭕⭕⭕⭕
"You heard about what happened to Cameron's son?" Asher asked as soon as he walked into the house.
"No. What happened?" I asked.
"So you haven't been watching the news?"
"No. I don't care for the news."
Asher sighed and pulled off his jacket.
"I thought you were gone already."
"I was on the phone setting up a flight, but I realized I needed to help you out. Vincent's saying goodbye to his friends, so he'll be over in a bit." He pulled me into a hug. "Where're the kids?"
"Sleeping. They've been watching TV all day." I allowed him to push me up against the wall and attack my neck. "What happened to his son?"
"He's missing. The plane he was on crashed, and they couldn't find him at the scene. Kathryn 'bout took my eye out when she was explaining the situation," Asher mumbled.
"That sucks, doesn't it?" I pulled off his police hat. "...Do you ever miss me at the station?"
"All the time. I had to get used to not seeing you as Trudy. Nolan keeps asking about you."
"Of course he is. How about we take this to my room?"
"Thought you'd never ask."
I checked in on the kids again, hoping they wouldn't wake up while Asher and I were busy. Hey, you can't judge me! We're long overdue for alone time. Especially since we've been ignoring urges for years. It's time we caught up.
"The room looks so different," Asher pointed out.
"Mhm. It's all me now. No more Luca, so you and I feel more comfortable."
"What's that?"
I looked at the vanity and sighed. I had forgotten about that. Why didn't I move it? I'll never know. I sighed.
"Sorry." I chuckled. "Sometimes there are things you can never let go of. Forget it's there. It's not like I actually wear it anymore."
"Okay." Asher pulled me into another hug and kissed me.
Fine. I knew what I was doing. Using Asher as a distraction? It's a low blow, but at least he's not thinking I'm using him. As long as the girls never find out, I'm good with whatever he wants to do with me. Will we ever get married? Maybe. I'm not one to rush into things. I'd rather be a single mother for the rest of my life. As long as it keeps them safe and me away from people who would do anything to get close to the mafia.
Is it okay doing what I'm doing? No. I know who Asher is. I know who his mother is. Although his father is dead, I know who his father was. To say that he's just a regular guy is an understatement. Who sticks around someone like me? Who would even think of being romantically involved with me? Asher's not the guy I was hoping for with how he's shoved himself into my life.
But, I like it.