The town we lived in didn't feel like the same town we lived in before. Everything seemed different. It didn't feel like home anymore. Everywhere, you go is a reminder of what we lost, not what we had. Living in the house is the hardest. My mother's energy still permeates the house. I wake up to her calling me for breakfast, only to have my heart shatter into pieces because I only imagined it. I hear her in the rooms, and I walk in expecting her to be there. I smell her all over the house. People try to tell me that's a good thing it means she's still with us, but when someone is gone there gone. All that gets let behind is painful memories.
My dad was taking it the hardest. It was taking a massive toll on him. He stopped going into work. "What's the point," he keeps saying. We were probably on the verge of losing everything, but he didn't care, and I wasn't angry with him for it. I knew how he felt. For once, I shared his pain. I wasn't giving him any hassle. I had to bottle it up for my dad's sake. All I could do was be there for him. He appreciated it, so it gave me some comfort. We needed to do something. We couldn't keep going the way we were heading. Life was slowly crumbling around us.
My dad bought me a laptop. He thought it might help take my mind off things, or maybe he felt guilty for the way he was. Either way, I was quite happy to get it. I finally had an escape from this house and this God damn town. I loved comic-books. My dream was to become an illustrator or design my very own comic. I found websites that let me share my designs. First time I've been able to share with people, other than just my friends. It takes me away from the pain of it all, for a brief few moments until I close the laptop and the reality hits me.
I had come up with a new character for a comic I was designing, and I wanted to share it to get some feedback. The Characters name was "Rough Justice." He was a renegade Judge on a mission of revenge and was always in pursuit of his archenemy the "Nihilator." The man who niellated his whole family.
One person, by the username "truerepunsel", took a particular interest. She loved the concept and even joked if "Rough Justice" could come and do some rough justice on her dad. It turned out her name was Aisling, and she was the same age as me. We had a lot in common. She talked a lot about her stepdad and how awful he was to her. We both were struggling with life, and it felt so good to have someone to off-load stuff too. We talked every day, and every day I fell deeper in love with her. Talking to Aisling became my only priority in life.
The more she opened up the closer I got to her, I felt connected to her. I felt like her Knight in shining armour ready to whisk her away from her evil stepdad and ride off into the sunset. We would talk on the phone for hours. I always brought up the subject of coming to see her, but she told me her stepdad wouldn't allow it and will kill her for even talking to another boy. My heart ached for her, all I wanted to do, was hold her.
My dad had finally gotten fired from work. He knew it was coming and the company he worked for did it in the nicest possible way. My dad was valued at that company, but he knew he couldn't carry on working there.
I got home from school to find my dad sitting at the kitchen table waiting for me. He looked deflated and beaten down, a shell of his former self. "Sit down son I have something to ask you." I didn't think I was ready for what he was going to say next. Every time someone asks me to sit down, I'm hit with something terrible. "What do you think about getting out of this town."
The first thing that sprung to my mind was Aisling. She lived three towns west of where we lived. My heart grew. It was the best thing my dad said since my mom died. I threw my arms around him and cried. "That's sound like a great idea, dad," I said with a huge smile on my face. Now all I had to do was persuade him to move to Clifton.
I couldn't wait to tell Aisling about the wonderful news. I was going to get a chance to see her, finally. This move could change everything for me. I can finally start coming to terms with everything and finally put my pain to rest. My dad didn't care where we moved to. All he wanted to do was get out of this town. Things were going to get better; I could feel it. My dad even promised he would get his act together once we were settled. Now all I had to do was tell Aisling.
At first, she was delighted to hear I was moving to Clifton. We talked endlessly about stuff we could do together and how happy we would be, finally. After my dad had finished finalising the last of the move Aisling became a bit cold on me. It was finally becoming a reality for her, and I think it scared her. I spent days begging her to tell me what's wrong. Then when it was the day of the move, she dropped the bombshell that she couldn't see me. Her stepdad wasn't someone to mess with, was all she told me. That feeling of nothingness had evaporated my soul and I had nothing to live for, again.