'What was I supposed to say? What could I say? I couldn't just say yes, I barely know him. But what if I did, it would have been a dream come true. I can't answer him not like this. My body still aches from all the damage Stephanie did.' I think to myself as I walk away from a waiting Jason. The look of anticipation on his face was enough to make my heart break. But who knows if it was even real. Plenty of guys fake their feelings just so they could....do the birds and the bees.
I walked down the hallway to my dorm and opened the door and laid on my bed with my eyes closed. What was I supposed to do? Now Faren will be beyond pissed because he likes me and I don't know what to do. If only the answer was an easy decision this would be cleared in seconds.
The door slowly opens as a curious Faren peeks her head around the corner of the door and looks at me. "So he likes you..." she commented as she opened the door more. I simply groaned and turned onto my side to face away from her. I really didn't want to talk about it at the moment. I just wanted to curl up in a blanket and forget everything that happened today.
"Oli please. I'm not mad at you. If he likes you then great. I'm happy for you. I may not approve but if it's what you want then I'll support you. I came back here and realized the act I pulled in front of you and Jason was wrong and I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry." She added as she sat on her bed which stood across from mine. I stayed still to motion my opinion on the subject and ignored her statement. She was lying to me and I could tell.
"You like him and I just ruined that for you so it's not fine. And I don't even know who he is as a person so I can't make a decision and if I were to answer I would say no because I would never do that to my friend." I blurted as my tongue got stuck at the back of my throat and I was getting close to tears.
"Oli, please don't cry. I only said I liked him because I wanted you to stay away from him. I didn't want you to get hurt if he ever tried to get with you. But seeing that it's partially working but now I feel guilty about it." She answered and I couldn't help but furrow my brows and look over at her. "What?"
She sighs and leans over to look at me. "I mean I don't trust him and I don't want to see you get hurt. But I can't stop him if you like him and he likes you back." She commented and I sat up to look at her. "So your not mad at me?" I reassured and she shook her head in response.
"What about him do you not trust?" I asked and she looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. "He seems like the fuck boy type." She replied nonchalantly. I look at her and tilt my head. "Really? I don't think of him that way." I respond and she chuckles and shakes her head.
"Of course you don't think of him that way because you like him." She adds and proceeds to get up and go to our mini fridge to get us some drinks and turns the incense machine back on to relax our nerves. "Here take one of the teas. It'll help you feel better. I know gold peak iced tea always cheers me up. If only I have a tea pot and could make you some chamomile. That would hit the spot real quick." She smiled and took a drink from her bottle and I from my own.
I pondered what Jason would think of me now that I practically walked away from him without answering his what looked like desperate answer at the time. I should really apologize.
"Ren...I'm going to go find him and apologize. I want to see if we can get to know each other so I can prove to you he isn't the fuck boy you believe him to be." I propose as I get up from the bed and head toward the door. "Be back before 4, we have our next class at 4:15 remember?" She chirps up and I shake my head. "We're relieved from classes remember? It'll be fine I won't be too long."
Once I lock the door behind me and make my way down the flights of stairs, I see Jason waiting in the lounge room with a piece of paper in his hands as he twirls it around his fingers. Once I put my foot on the last step, his head whips around in my direction and quickly stands up to walk over to me. From a distance he doesn't seem that tall but up close, he towers over me with about 1 and a half feet.
"You just ran off and I didn't get a chance to explain myself and properly ask you. I just blurted out my words without a filter and I'm sorry. I hope you'll understand that I want to take this slow and get to know you before we get into anything serious. Here's my number. Text me, call me, or ignore me if you really believe it to be the right thing I don't care. I just want to make sure you have it." Jason quickly tells me and puts the slip of paper between my fingers before I could get a word in and looks at me to see if I'll answer this time.
I look up at him and give him a small smile. "I'd like that very much. I would hate for you to date me and see how much of a child I really am." I reply with a slight blush on my cheeks.
"I hope to see that part of you soon."