March, 16, 2018
I know he's sorry, but sometimes it doesn't feel like that. You know? I miss him so bad.....he made a huge impact on almost everyone's life. He helped me open my eyes to the world as it was.....I remember to first day I saw him he had his gloves on. He was so silly. Some guy messing with him asked if they were his rape gloves and he replied "no, those smell like chloroform these don't smell like chlor-" then he'd smell them and pretend to pass out making even his bullies laugh. Then everything changed.....he was always depressed when I met him but it wasn't that bad. What changed? Try his behavior going from always happy to always on the verge of a mental breakdown. He eventually stopped taking his medication, and he got a lot worse. He'd hug me constantly before.....made him blush lightly and give me a warm smile after.....then at a certain point he stopped. He'd just give me a handshake, and give me this dull lifeless stare and smile. He stopped talking almost completely he no longer had the signature smile, and the goofy attitude that everyone loved. He was fucked up at the point.....hell he even cut himself in the school bathroom and let himself bleed out for a bit...he told me he did that and it was always characterized by even duller eyes and his tiredness got a lot worse. I'd scold him after class, and he kept doing it. It only got worse and worse. I should've gotten him help, but i thought he was okay I thought I could help him but I couldn't. I'm sorry jack. I hope we both find better words for each other later on. -Daya