"No" I picked up my leftovers and stood up.
"That's your problem, you never let me in there" I pointed his chest. "I will never ever want to be in a relationship with someone who does not want me to be in his darkest" he was thrown off by my words, his mouth dropped open.
"I can't follow..I..i don't understand." He was stuttering. I sat back down.
"Listen, I can't be with you if you only want me in your brightest and happiest days. I want to be with you through your darkest, through the roughest storm and the toughest wave. If I want you, I want you in every way. "
"Loving you doesn't mean I only deserve you in euphoria. Fix your standards"
"I want to make you coffee while the storm invades the land, hold your hand as we fight through the toughest wave." I said as I stared into nothingness.
"I will be your candle--give you warmth and be the light in your darkness." I looked deep in his eyes, and held his hands
"But if you won't let me, then find someone who disappears when your vulnerable" my hands tried to slowly escape his.
"How can I? tell me, I'm willing to..." My heart fluttered with his words, gosh, relax blood.
"Honesty… trust…Sincerity" what more hmm.
"Be real.….Love me without boundaries"
If you'll only love me by your limits, then let's not call it love. It's more of an advantage for you, you only give yourself when you feel like it, I'm not a chemical like oxytocin, I'm more than a temporary feeling. I value myself and I'm worthy to be loved beyond limits.
"Will…will y- you really accept me?" Gosh am I talking to a preschooler.
"Do I look and talk like boys?" he shook his head, "Then, is it clear to you?" I just can't stay angry at him, maybe he's just protecting me. Which he does not have to do, I can protect myself,
And if I lose, then I'd love to be one with the stars. Near the moon, where pain isn't known.
I offered my hand and we walked to his car, "Do you forgive me?" he asked. "Yes" I answered and we drove off.
I was strolling through my phone when I suddenly saw Dahlia's message [a little party later…please come, enjoy some cookies and wine but milk for me ofc. I hope you'll come girl next door] she sent it hours ago. It's not too late, right?
"Where's the chocolates you mean to give me?" he handed me a box, "We're going to a party" I took off my coat and handed it to him. I knocked at their door, "Are we that late?" I said when the door opened only to be welcomed by an old man. "Oooh sorry, wrong door" I politely greeted him also so it won't be that awkward. I knocked, on the right door of course "Chocolates two humans might like" I handed her the box and she welcomed me with a hug, we entered and saw some minimal decorations. "First time moving in together, we'd like to celebrate" they both had their jobs, and home. They're both ready to settle. Oh how lovely the feeling is.
"Now, let the feast begin!" Gareth announced. It was a simple dinner, chats and laughter. It was a nice way to end the day, "We'll go now" Dahlia was already sleepy and I too has some things to take care of.
"Yes, me and my girlfriend will go now" his arms around my waist, I awkwardly smiled by his sudden words. He was joyful as he announced so, I am happy, very. We've finally untangled the strings. Feels like those teenage years, football games, love letters, roses, night drives. How nostalgic.
"Can we sleep in the bed now" he asked while I am brushing my teeth, "no you'll be staying in the couch" I joked.
"Okay, Goodnight baby" he kissed my forehead and went out. I would love to cuddle but I don't know how to say it, my tongue isn't cooperating. He was watching TV, I tiptoed behind him and grabbed his face, placed a soft kiss on his lips and ran to the room. My heart was beating wildly, what was that. But his lips was soft and delicate, do I want more? Ew what was I thinking.
I heard footsteps, I quickly hid under the sheets, I'm acting childish again. When ut was all quiet I slowly peeked and saw him standing in the doorway with a creepy smile before he ran to the bed and jump onto me, Ouch.
"Hmm you're trying to steal my kisses baby, you can just ask for it" his voice was dark, he flashed a smirk before going in for a kiss, long and passionate he held my head and slowly laid me down "Okay that's too much for you woman" he pulled out from the kiss. I gasped for air, "I have few questions for you?" he sat beside me. "One, that night, your first night here on new York. When you were doing hero things, that gang. What symbols did you saw?" he asked, as I remembered there were arrows "arrows and bow" I answered. "Oh that bastards, okay moving on. Uhmm... Did your dad really beat you up? your mom? your sister? we've dated for two years before that accident and It feels like I don't know you at all" I fixed my hair and sat down. "Okay, it's all lies, it's what they told me, they changed my view in life and my family...Everything was a lie. My mom was married into another family but my dad knows how abusive my mom's partner was so he took us in, he's the best, later on my sister went to college and then me, then he was shot dead. I hope that's clear already" he Shook his head, like he just came back to reality. "Yes...Yeah, I completely understand, and maybe because we don't see each other that much before it's fine. You can sleep now" he stood up, I watched him leave. I thought I was getting cuddles hmp. "Leo!" I called, he rushed inside. He raised his eyebrows, I tapped the space beside me and smiled. He chuckled, and layed beside me. I scooted over him and inhaled his manly scent. "You like cudduws?" he said in a baby voice and I nodded like a child. Sleeping was easier because I feel safe in his arms.
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