Sounds of warm fire cracking within a fire place as the window was stained with rain drop. Alex stood there looking out the window with a mug in hand. Empty, but the smell of coffee was still fresh in the air. He looked down seeing the Christmas sweater he was wearing laughing a bit as his simply read. "Kiss me" he didn't put much thought into the ugly Christmas sweater tradition his mind was else where. As a small soft and gentle hand was placed upon his shoulder he would only soon feel a kiss against his cheek.
"Hey handsome. What's wrong? The rain ruining your mood?"
There was a short pause and a small smile played on Alex's lips as he looked down at Jordin with watery eyes. A deep wave of sadness had hit him which is why he was here standing alone. He couldn't tell her why he was feeling sad or what was making him want to cry but it pulled at his heart and he really wanted to feel again. Anything other than this sadness in his heart.
"Woah, hey baby are you okay? Here. Come here."
She said grabbing the mug from his hand placing it down at a near by counter as she would wrap her arms around him. Holding him tightly for a moment. She held on making sure not to let go at all. Never seeing him truly cry was something new. For them being together for a while she never seen him truly angry, truly sad.
"I don't know. I just really felt like crying and I don't know why."
Alex spoke up wrapping his arms around Jordin as tears began to stream down his face. He held on tightly but letting go softly noticing he would often hug her too tightly at times.
Words weren't exchanged much as he would only hold onto her. This simple hug seemed to have shifted the energy in him especially in the room as distant chatter was being made.
Laughing and talking in the other rooms. Children running around and the adults with their topics of conversation. Being mostly a Christian filled event they only exchanged mostly of how their children are or how they were before they met god.
Yet the rain kept pouring. Alex would slowly pull away from the hug as his eyes met with Jordins. He gave more of a genuine smile rather a forced kind. Seeing her in her ugly Christmas sweater which had comic book characters on it. Far better looking than what Alex wore.
"Hey. Baby I just need a minute okay. I'm gonna just go to the car real quick and bring the presents for everyone."
Giving his girl a kiss on the lips he made sure it was long and hard. To ensure everything was fine with him. He gave a nice smile as he held her hand making sure to hold it for as long as he could while walking away.
She agreed to what he said watching him step outside as the rain began to settle. The moon began to shine through the gaps of the clouds as Alex looked around seeing the empty road and across was Jordins car.
Him not having a drivers license she would never ever let him drive on his own. Even though he has done it so many times.
With every step he took the sounds of puddles were heard doing a small speed walked he rushed over to the trunk of her car opening it up seeing all the presents.
Then it hit him again. His head began to get filled with thoughts he would never think for himself. As a shape pain seemed to hit his heart he hunched over slightly. Clenching you his chest as he tried to call out for help but his voice didn't seem to escape his lips. He tried to walk over to the driver side of the car but his balance was off as he stumbled a little falling to his knees. He groaned in pain a bit as his heart began to hurt an insane amount. He gritted his teeth as he unlocked the car opening the drivers door. He hunched over the seat looking over to the small bag that sat in the drivers seat.
As his mind seemed to yell and shout at him.
Thoughts of death ran quick in his mind as he grabbed the bag clenching it before pulling it to himself. Inside was only a bottle of pills. He couldn't remember the name of the pills but as he stood there opening the bottle only letting two pills fall into the palm of his hands. He would quickly swallow it. Doing his best to breathe.
Shortly after his nose began to bleed. As blood dripped from his nose down to the pavement floor. He felt the warmth as he reached up touching the top of his lip feeling the blood. Nothing light as a heavy flow continued to drip from his nose his vision began to get hazy. He became lightheaded as he took two steps forward falling to the ground.
"You're a funny guy. You really think someone like you is meant to be happy? You think that girl is going to love you? All those people in there are only really there because they love their daughter, little niece they could care less for her boyfriend."
As Alex looked over to the direction of the voice he seen no one. Only the bottle of pills that fell out of his hand as some pills had spilled out to the floor he soon reached over with his right arm grabbing the bottle as he placed it to his lips just about to swallow everything within the bottle.
"Alex don't do this. You know it's all in your head. You're strong. You can't let an illness get the best of you. You struggled with this for so long. You came this far why end it now?"
As Alex turned over now facing the left side of him. He seen a girl in a white Summer dress. With medium length black hair and dark brown eyes. With a smile played on her lips.
"Alex. It's been five years. Don't act like you're not still hurting. It's okay to trust her. You love her. You can trust her. What's a little more heart break anyways."
Alex could only have tears streaming down his face as the girl speaking to him was his best friend in middle school. Them being the closest of friends possible.
"D-Darci. I miss you."
Alex spoke trying to reach his hand up to her. To grab her, to at least touch her and feel if she is really there.
"I know you do. But you're talking to the moon. I'm no longer here anymore. This depression this illness you need to beat it. Not for you, not for mom and dad. But for that girl who is waiting in there for you to come back inside. I'm dead Alex.. you need to let me go. You have people waiting for you. Jordin is waiting. Candy needs your help."
As Darci spoke the thing besides Jordin that caught his ear was the mention of Candy. Why would he bring her up now. As Alex kept reaching for Darci he would hear his name being called. This time it was distant. It seemed further away. As his head dropped back down to the ground his eyes began to close shut.
What seemed to only be a few seconds was actually a few hours. As he woke up in a hospital bed.
Wondering how he got there he would see Jordin sitting at the side of his bed.
"Hey. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Water? Food?"
Alex scoffed a little as he looked around wondering how he got here. Where was Darci? Candy?
"Hey uh.. baby. What? Where am I? Where is Candy? The zombies and stuff?"
Jordin smiled as she began to walk out of the room Alex was confused she would never ignore anything he would say. Even if she didn't understand she would say she didn't understand but no she only walked away.
He could hear other people talking the sounds of movement around the hospital floor as footsteps began to fade away along with the voices. It took a moment to realize Alex was alone. As he sat up in the bed he was in he looked around seeing nothing around to provide him with an answer as to how or why he was here.
He stood up to his feet as he walked out of the room he was in seeing no one was around. The only sound able to be heard would be the buzzing of the lights. He walked around for a moment as his bare feet touched the cold floor he didn't mind it at all. At least not to much.
He walked behind the receptionist as all the paperwork was put away. Files and everything it was clean and empty besides on clipboard with a fold on it. Label reading Alex's name.
As he opened it up he began to read it. Overdosage with prescription medication, not diagnosed with depression. Clear signs of past self harm injuries. Scars displayed in various parts of his body, wrist and arms.
"Overdose? I didn't overdose. I don't have depression.."
Soon the lights began to flicker as Alex tossed down the folder he took a few steps back as wind began to blow all around. Soon a voice spoke up.
"Oh buddy. Man if you could only remember the things you done. How many times have you tried to end your life? How many times was the blade you carried drenched in your own blood. How often did you practice your hand writing to leave a suicide note for your family. Pathetic. That night. You took the entire bottle of pills. Yet here you are lucky you. You're lucky. Those sins on your wrist, arms. They faded away. You can hide it all forget it all yet every episode you have you wake up again and again. With little to no memory. How long have you been here?"
Alex couldn't find a face to match the voice as he looked all around trying to find a face he soon took off running. As he kept sprinting down the halls the voice seemed to only grow louder and louder.
"SAY IT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE! AGAIN AND AGAIN! Go on. Kill yourself. You tried so many times and failed so many times. Who are you running from? Why are you trying to run from this?"
As he kept running the lights flickered on and off. Being to flash non stop. He kept running pushing open the doors to the hall way entrance was presented more of a hall way. This time no rooms for patients just white walls with a single trail of lights in the ceiling as he kept running. Full speed, running in the hospital dress he was put in. As he kept running another set of doors were presented he slammed through them as the lights kept on flashing. He felt this time clothing on him. As he glanced down quickly seeing him in his ugly Christmas outfit he kept running. Blood soon flowed from his nose as the wind, the speed of his running it was being smeared on his face.
"Who are you going to blame this time? SHE LEFT YOU ALONE IN THIS WORLD AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE!"
As the voice began to yell louder than before he felt the floor and his surroundings shake. Stumbling slightly he kept his speed. He kept running. The lights this time began to burst with sparks flying. The lights flashing faster and faster he kept running until he was met with another set of doors. Slamming through them he stumbled as he landed face first to the ground.
"You're pathetic. Look at you. All of these emotions built in you. This abuse. This rage. Sadness. You're crazy. Just look at yourself your a damn monster. You should be ashamed for what you done."
Alex placed his hands onto the ground lifting himself up as the walls began to bleed, the white lights began to flash red as he looked up seeing a bright red light coming down. Soon the sound of an explosion was heard followed behind a rush of fire.
As the walls seemed to burn still bleeding he looked down seeing his hands stained in blood as a finger tapped his shoulder he would turn around quickly seeing nothing but dead rabbits all around him. He quickly stood up to his feet as he once again took off running.
"YOU DID THIS! YOU DEVIL! YOU'RE A DEVIL A DEMON!"
As the fire grew the sprinklers would turn on, instead of it being water. Blood flowed from the sprouts. As another set of doors came in front of him. He pushed through them nothing changed only the clothing he wore. Which was what he was wearing at the hotel. Black dress shirt with flowers around it. Black jeans and black shoes. As the blood sprout sprinklers kept on pouring he kept on running his hair drenched in blood, the clothing he wore drenched in blood. His face stained in blood as he had to constantly wipe his face to see where he was running.
This time the voice had stopped chasing as the lights began to fade its red glow slowly turning into its white shine.
As the pool of blood which was on the ground most of the run was met with the tile floor again. He would see another set of doors. The flickering had stopped. The sprinklers no longer were shooting out blood. As regular water was now flowing from the sprouts the blood from his hair and face began to wash off. As he turned around seeing a pitch black hall way and only a blood trail behind himself he noticed he grew closer to the door. As his running slowly became a walk. His hand was met at the door. Slowly pushing it open he could see a shining light.
He soon stepped forward as he would see a hospital bed room. With an open window as wind would blow though the curtain would flow with the breeze. As Alex stepped in the light faded away as the room was only lit by the moonlight. As he walked deeper into the room he would soon see a lady standing by the window as the curtain would cover the lady every time the wind blown through the window.
With every step Alex took was the sound of a squishing slushing sound beneath his foot step. As he looked down and behind him seeing only his shoes left a bloody trail.
"Excuse me? Who are you?"
Alex asked as the lady kept staring out the window. She didn't even bother to look over to Alex kept her gaze off to the moon. As Alex kept walking he seen just on the hospital bed was a small ring. A silver ring with nothing else on it. He grabbed it examining it as he kept walking to the lady soon standing besides her. As Alex was not fixated with the moon he simply played with the ring in his hands. For this moment things were calm as wind blew through his hair. As the sounds were drowned out. Only the sound of the wind was all he could hear. He then turned looking up at the lady. With black hair and piercing blue eyes he admired her looks. She was a beautiful lady. Pale skin and pink lips. With a sigh in the air she looked down at Alex.
"It's rude to stare. But seeing you don't already know that I will let it slide."
There was a short pause as Alex then looked out the window. The girl kept her gaze to him. As she then looked out the window.
"You don't remember me do you? How could you. We never met. I'll speak before you have the chance. This thing in your chest will only bring you more pain. You have been hurt. You feel numb and lost. But this is just the start of a new beginning, your life is changing for the better. Happiness is right around the corner, keep your head up. Alright?"
With that being said Alex turned once more to face the lady but there was no sign of the lady. As Alex looked out the window still with the ring in hand he kept his eyes to the moon.
"Hey Darci. How's it going? I hope everything is fine.. me? Oh life for me is going great. It's been five years since you died. I.. I really miss you. What's new? Well I have a girlfriend. We been together for a while and I really love her. Her name? It's Jordin. Yeah. That's right. I'm gonna marry her."
Tears began to form in his eyes as he would chock on his words, then the rain began hitting the window and the window sill he could feel the coldness the wind now offered.
"Why? Why did you do it! You left me alone! You said you would always be by my side! You killed yourself for what!? You left me! I hated myself because I was so angry with you! You said no matter what you'll be there! Why? You left me alone with everyone else! I... you're gone and I had to become. They blamed me for you hanging yourself they said I was the reason you did it."
As tears overflowed from his eyes with a mixture of anger and depression Alex was shouting at the top of his lungs. All the anger and pain poured out of him. What was contained for years was being unleashed to a ghost. Speaking to the moon with no one able to hear him he poured his heart out. As the ring slipped from his finger hitting the floor a soft thud was heard as he clenched onto the windows ledge with his right hand he looked down seeing the ring there on the floor.
"Alex. You know I love you. But I'm no longer apart of your world. I'm gone. For years I watched you struggle with the sins you committed. I watched you struggle with the worlds issues, friends and Families. You're a hero to others and you were a hero to me. So wake up. Wake up!"
As Alex turned around coming face to face with his dear old friend. Nothing changed of her besides the scars around her neck where the rope was tied around herself.
He began to walk forward reaching out for her. But as he done so she turned away walking away from Alex.
"Wait. Hey please wait! Don't go don't leave me again! Darci!"
As he kept his pace he began to dash forward only to trip over the corner of the hospital bed as he fell the floor opened up falling into a pit of darkness. For a short moment he was knocked onto the ground with a shinning sun and the sound of children laughing, with a beautiful woman right above him. As a handle was placed on his forehead gently brushing his hair.
"Good morning sleepy head."
Jordin. With her beautiful colored eyes and black hair. He felt warm. The coldness early was gone at first what felt like a dream he began to forget looking up at his lover with nothing but compassion.
"Hey baby. How long was I asleep?"
She smiled looking out to the field seeing children all running around in a field of rye. She then looked down kissing his forehead.
"Don't you think they are a little close to the edge of the field? For the length of your sleep? Not very long."
Alex then sat up looking around as he and Jordin were on top of a blanket with nothing else around them besides the field of rye. He then could see children out in the distance playing with each other.
He didn't speak much.. in fact said nothing at all.
Rather he rubbed the back of his head feeling a warm liquid as he pulled his hand back there was nothing on his palm. He patted his body feeling a cold substance. As if he was drenched in water but he was as dry as day.
"If you go out there. You're going to be stuck here. Are you sure you want to wake up? This is the last time you will see me again you know that right."
Alex sighed as everything came rushing back to him. He gritted his teeth as he looked out seeing the ledge at the end of the field and seeing how the children grew closer to it. He stood up taking a few steps as he then looked back at Jordin. He doubted the last thine she spoke as this was only a dream. He walked over giving a kiss on her cheek, nose and forehead. Sat down and sighed something was troubling him but he kept it to himself. He knew what was waiting for him on the other side of the world and was determined to making it home.
"Last time someone told me this would be the last time I would see or do anything it ended up being the first of many other times. Like when they told me this is the last time I will be sneaking out it was the first time I done so. And for sure wasn't the last time either. I just got better at doing and getting what I want. So I'll see you when I wake up. Just wait for me okay. Forever and always. No matter what. Now come her let me feel them thighs one last time."
As Alex began to fall back, the sound of rain was filling his ears as he grew closer to Jordins lap he felt the rain hitting his face and entire body. Yet just before his head was placed on her lap he was smacked into the concrete floor arching his back in pain he groaned. As his eyes opened up he was faced with the animal skulls mask he groaned with pain as he began to turn his face looking upwards to the sky. With a small pool of blood behind his head he quickly stood up in a panic. Looking around to figure out what was going on he groaned. As he rubbed the back of his head to feel the cut. There was nothing to be found. He took it as not being able to find it and kept on with trying to figure out how to get into the building.
As he looked down at his smart watch he noticed it was now seven o'clock on the dot meaning he only had sixteen hours until the evacuation would leave. Soon the sounds of jets was heard as he looked up to the sky he seen three quickly fly by then the sounds of gun fire was heard. It was distant but still clear it was gunshots. From this he knew more military at least survivors were still in the city fighting the fight.
"Sixteen hours until the boys leave. No time to waste."
Quickly examining the building he noticed a ventilation fan broken. Seeing no legitimate way up he grabbed a trash bin rolling it over underneath the fan. As he looked around he could barely reach the ledge of the windows. Though it wasn't wide enough for him to crawl through he used it as a footing. Clenching onto the wall he was loading his gripping and the rain wasn't any help. He reached up to the fan. Just out of reach. No matter how much he stretched he couldn't reach out to grab the ledge of it.
"Fuck it. What's the worst that can happen."
He adjusted his footing slightly letting his left leg dangle in the air as he kept scooting his right foot closer to the left side of the ledge he then jumped towards the fan using his left foot to leap off of the wall. For a moment it seemed as if he wouldn't reach it, but as he jumped up with the second lift off of his left foot he was able to grab the edge of the fan. Pulling himself upwards he began to pull and tug. Finally breaking off the fan letting it fall into the alley way.
As he glanced around seeing a scaffolding he jumped down doing his best to be as silent as possible.
"Hacker voice. I'm in..."
He scoffed at his own joke as he took a few steps forwards feeling as if someone was watching he quickly turned around with his pistol already aimed pointing it seeing no one was behind him. Only the way he came in.. and from the circle of the fans entrance he made. There stood the full moon.