Soon I arrived in front of the dining hall, where I thought the head butler would probably be, since it was evening by now, so he had to do some preparation for dinner. I wanted to walk in, but just stopped midway and stood there for a minute. Then I cautiously looked to my right and my left. "…Nobody was near me.", I quietly murmured.
Once I was sure of this, exhaustion began to come and I slowly fell to my knees, but before they could touched the hard ground, I somehow held on the door to support myself.
'Ah…. So scary! No joke. I almost pissed myself. THAT scary was it. I was never someone who liked to argue or even get into trouble. Normally, I would avoid such situations by finding a compromise or anything else as long as I didn't have to dispute for long, but I regrettably had to change this now. Running away from them was no option here,… especially if it affected my family.', I thought to myself.
Sweat formed on my hands, when I clenched them into fists. I bit my lips and shortly lifted my head. The empty corridor seemed like an endless labyrinth where I could lose myself anytime, should I not be careful with my actions. Lost in my thoughts, I suddenly remembered the most important fact I missed out, but it came back after the fight with my ex-husband.
After my death I didn't know what happened to them, but according to the novel my whole family was ruined and in the end lost their lives because of treason. Treason ?
At first I thought it was because of the rumours again, however how could my fallen reputation and execution even resulted to treason? I only expected the image of the famous Ainsworth family would be reduced and the respect and trust in them fell apart in slow pace. In the worst case scenario my family would have to step back from their position. The royal family wouldn't want to lose their strongest shield and sword of the kingdom, so it should't be that bad. The people knew of my family's achievements, thus it shouldn't influence much the overall opinion of them. They would surely resume me being the only black sheep of the family, something normal to have in any households, be it commoners or aristocrats. However everything became twisted, the Ainsworth were completely destroyed instead. What could be the reason?
The novel didn't give out the specific details to it, only treason. Come to think of it, the book was well-written, but many important information were missing here. At that time I should have written a bad review about it before I fell asleep. SH*T !
Their executions followed after mine. The one who caused the situation was my ex-husband. That time he was still my so-called "darling" (*puke), so he didn't marry Luciana yet. In the story it was only told that he collected many evidences proving betrayal to the royal family. How he found them out was what I didn't read, but the way he investigated things until now, I questioned if he did it correctly. Anyway I couldn't let this issue aside. Always blaming the rumours for everything wasn't good, nonetheless I was sure, that if you wanted to influence someone's mind, you would need to just implant the first doubt by whispering words to his ear and this soon bloomed to suspicion in that certain person. Thus no way they wouldn't begin to doubt the authority of my family after my death. My reputation was only the rolling stone for an even bigger plan, that I suspected.
I had to speak up to my father. I knew my family wouldn't betray the kingdom. We weren't greedy for power. We had a good relationship with the royal family. We protected and loved our kingdom. We served the royals earnestly, came every time victoriously from fights and took a part in stimulating the economy. Jealousy and envy was part of human's nature, so it wasn't unexpected, however they still respected us until the end.
So how could it result into this?
'But what confused me more was that my family never did anything against my rumours. For sure, they should know them by now. I wandered on this world ignorant about them being so bad, only to find the truth… when it was already too late.', as I thought this, my body shook briefly because of my compiled frustration. My last memory of my neck being cut off flashed through my mind. I was afraid this would happen again, should I not be able to change it. "Calm down, Rosie !",I spoke to myself trying to stop the shaking.
Where could the rumours come from ?
The aristocrats of lower status surely wouldn't dare to start such rumours about a family for it would result to their possible destruction in the end, if we found the culprit among them.
That's why it could only be one from higher ups, higher than us probably. But the minister or any working officer of the royal palace had to be careful with taking sides or making their opinion as their words had too strong influence. It could bring longterm consequences for them and their family. In conclusion …. it must be a lunatic, really! Who would want to mess up with such a strong family ?
That what I believed, yet the Ainsworth were brutally destroyed in the end. This psycho was particularly smart and cunning, who didn't shy for any risks. These people must hold resentment towards my whole family, but what could it be? Was it power, the position or our territory? Who could target us, especially me ?
" I think I will lose many brain cells, if it went on like this.", I held my forehead, when I remembered my action from the afternoon to evening.
Just when I finished organising my thoughts, the door opened all of a sudden."Are you okay, my lady ?",asked an old man who peaked out from door slit. I backed up, before he could open it completely. I opened my mouth, " Oh, head butler, I would like to ask you to let them prepare for my departure as I will leave tomorrow.", after finding my desired person.
The head butler paused for a moment, but soon affirmed,"Okay, my lady ." He said his goodbye and then left.
'What's up with him? Normally, he wouldn't hesitate and answered me right away. But just now I clearly saw him shocked.', as looked at his small figure from afar. Leaving my thought aside, I also left the scene and returned to my only peaceful place in all this chaos where I could really relax. Arriving my bedroom, I soon remembered the dinner in my schedule, 'How I wish I didn't had to see this face. Never did I want to be around the male lead ever again.' He only brought my destruction. Sadly, I was pretty much a foodie, so missing them out wasn't possible for me.
Giving up my thought to skip meal, I lay on my bed and just tried to forget Cedric.
Just thinking about him, let me boil with anger. Suddenly the scene in the hallway came to mind and I blinked as a result.
That moment when I confidently passed by him after our dispute, I could see his facial expression more closely. It was only a moment, not even minutes, but seconds, where I could see his face more clearly than ever before. " Why…?", I uttered ,when confusion filled me.
Why does he look hurt ?
Emotions like sadness and vulnerability were drawn on his face. He didn't show his feelings easily, so this was a surprise for me.
'How should I interpret this?', wrinkles became visible on my forehead as I strongly thought about it.
'Ah…. just forget it, I had thought too much today. I have more things on my plate to even care about this man. I shouldn't think more into this, since I won't be involved with him anymore.', preventing my brain from overworking again, I suddenly remembered something else. My eyes widened at realisation.
Cedric also never became angry with me until now, even after all these rumours. He endured the criticism about his wife and didn't tell me a single thing about them, although after the start of our marriage I already knew of the rumours. However I couldn't do anything against them.
I often didn't meet nobles and hadn't any time for dealing them, because my work hindered me. Besides I couldn't interact with many aristocrats and they wouldn't even dare to speak to me openly about these gossips for my position as the archduchess as well as the only daughter of the famous family was clearly higher than them, so they stayed quiet like a mouse or just flutter up to me. In that way the rumours passed my head without ever entering into my ears. Only on some occasions I could accidentally overhear their whisper. Most of the time I either conversed with my family and my territory's people and after my marriage only with some of the royal family and some royals of different countries. I didn't know if the foreign royals heard of them, but they interacted with me just the same way as before. Thus I didn't see any difference in their behaviour and thought they didn't believe them much. Furthermore I knew these people before my engagement, so they should already be acquainted with my personality by now. There were many other small factors too, but to sum it up, in all these six years after my social debut I couldn't do anything against these d*mn rumours.
How could it be possible? I would probably blame this partly for my disinterest in social gatherings and gossips and my personality. In some way or another I could kind of understand how female leads in most novels were so naive and innocent. Before that I was steadily angry why these girls were always stupid, but now being in the same situation like them left me speechless. Similar to when you went to school for so long, knew a lot of people but only found out that you were actually popular according to your friends after you left school. Ah… Ain't I the one who had to check my IQ here ?
Furthermore I didn't seek for help from my family fearing that I could drag them into my mess and it later would affect them too. This was common in this society, it didn't matter if it was here or in my other world. It existed many stories, where family facing ruin just had interaction with other houses. The smallest connection could indicate their acquaintanceship. In this world these noble's households would be either added to the gossips and be automatically integrated into their new rumours. Thus this could concern their reputations too.
For example in the business area, two parties made a contract. One provided the necessary ingredients, while the other processed them and later on sold it. Should one of the parties had connection with a family with bad reputation, this would bring misfortune to their business and additionally the customers would even question their capabilities. The sells went down and made it hard to rise again. Preventing that to happen one should either cut contact with the certain family or had to rearrange the contract or even probably had to change their partner.
As long as I had any connection with the archduke's family, I was certain new rumours would circulate. Many noble's households tried to find faults in others, especially of higher status, and I was the perfect target. Therefore spies working as servants were common for providing the information.
My reputation was strong enough to influence my and the archduke's family image. Before they could escalate more than necessary, it was good to cut bond between me and the archduke's household by willingly breaking off the marriage. This way the archduke's household and my family were spared from further damage. Certainly, many must question if the other party was truly in love to let it end like this, because we only lived together for two years.
The reason why the rumours around me could shoot up in the past was that I first insisted to stay in marriage with Cedric, even though he didn't wanted through by showing the divorce papers. This was my first mistake. That the marriage was forced wasn't unfamiliar to everyone in the royal capital. Therefore they resumed I used improper methods like using my marquess' status to remain the marriage. A forbidden love was the perfect source for gossip and fairy tales. Many wanted to support such romance behind the scene. A baron's daughter and the archduke. Two total different statuses. It couldn't be more romantic, right? Even if I had to admit that I also would help them. Nevertheless I was the villainess in their story here…
So more worse damages to my reputation and family were prevented. Check.
So far I learnt from my previous mistakes and after living as a college student I knew how important friends and families were. Asking for one's help I shouldn't be ashamed of, more like you should be proud to have people whom you could trust. 'The only mistake I couldn't cure was me stopping from overthinking again', I heavily sighed when I remembered my brainstorming from before.
I should just stay in the shadows and consult with my family. Finding the culprit was the most important thing here.
Knock* Knock*
Awaking me from my thought process, I heard someone's knocking.
"Lady Ainsworth, dinner was prepared. Please come down ."
Breathing in and out. Calming my nerves. Standing up straight.
I slowly walked to the door and I thought to myself,
'Okay ,the battle begins.'