Sora sat in the car unmoving for a long time. Emotion and reason were both tearing at him, and at each other, and he could still taste her tears. Finally, he wiped his eyes again, started the car, and left.
His life still felt like it was in shambles, but he wasn't going to pull her down with him.
--
It wasn't until a few weeks later that Takumi met up with Sora. He had only recently returned from his honeymoon, and had just realized that Sora had been oddly quiet since his wedding. He wasn't certain if the gap was from Sora giving them space, having finally gotten his own place set up, or just an effect of the difference in the amount of time they were spending together. They'd been spending the majority of each day together before the wedding, in order to get everything set up in time.
Takumi approached his friend at the bar, and watched as he accepted the numbers and kisses of two girls. He picked up Sora's sparklingly clear drink curiously and took a sip. It was ice water.
After a moment he asked, "Have you been doing this a lot lately?"
Sora shrugged and said, "Yes, but it doesn't matter."
Takumi gave him a long look and then replied, "If it doesn't matter let's go somewhere else. I don't want anyone telling Eri I'm in a bar trying to pick up women with you, when she's just learning to really trust me."
"Okay," Sora agreed without any resistance.
--
Outside, Takumi glanced around the familiar neighborhood and considered their options.
"Hungry?" he asked.
Sora shook his head.
When they reached the border of the city park, Takumi gestured toward the gate, and Sora shrugged. They entered a minute later, and wandered around it for a while before Takumi took a seat on a wall in front of a small pond. He looked at his friend and asked abruptly, "What's wrong with you? Are you trying to replace alcohol with women?"
"I don't know," Sora replied. He looked up at the sky and shrugged, then he admitted unhappily, "It really doesn't matter how many women, or who it is anymore, if it's not Mizuki."
Takumi stared at Sora. "Mizuki?" he asked sharply.
Sora just nodded.
Takumi gazed at him with bafflement for a moment, and then recalled the last time he remembered hearing the name, "The girl you met at the beach? The one you said recommended the method you used to get this job?"
Sora nodded.
"She doesn't want you?" Takumi asked a little hesitantly.
Sora covered his face and replied achingly, "She wants me."
"So what's the problem?" Takumi asked after nothing else was forthcoming. "Is she already married? Has a dozen kids? What?"
Sora dropped his hands and exclaimed angrily, "She's only seventeen, and I can't resist her even when I should! I have absolutely no self control when I'm with her!" His friend gazed at him in shock as he added miserably, "And I can't do that to her. I don't want to be bad for her."
After a long silent moment, Takumi admitted hesitantly, "I don't know what to say."
Sora just shrugged again, helplessly. His hands were clenched, and he unclenched them, and tried to relax his posture. He didn't know what to say either.
"I don't have any idea if you'd actually be bad for her or not, but it seems like maybe she was really good for you?" Takumi suggested. Sora gave him a startled look and he shrugged. "It was good advice wasn't it?"
"You don't see anything wrong with me being with her, even though she's still just a kid?" Sora asked after a little while.
Takumi grinned suddenly. "I have no idea, I mean, you've always been good for me, so why can't you be good for her? No one can stop getting older, and you can just look at my parents if you want an example of a lasting relationship with that kind of an age gap? But if you're this attached to someone who's that far outside of your usual preferences, maybe you should just try to make work?"
Sora didn't return Takumi's grin. "What if I can't?"
"Then she'll dump you, and you can go back to drinking ice water at the bar?" Takumi suggested a little dryly.
--
A couple of weeks later Sora borrowed Takumi's bike, and made the two hour trip to Mizuki's city again.
He drove to the address she'd left on his pillow on an island at the edge of another continent, and sat and stared at her door for a long time before dismounting and locking the motorcycle. It took more courage than he expected to climb the steps a second time. He knocked nervously, and jumped when a man opened the door a moment later.
Mizuki's father glared up at Sora and asked, "What do you want?"
Sora struggled with words for a moment, and then asked hesitantly, "Is Mizuki here?"
"And what if I don't want to let her talk to the guy who made her cry for a week straight?" demanded Mizuki's father.
Sora flinched and replied miserably, "I'm sorry." He took a deep breath before adding, "But I really want to talk to her please."
Mizuki's father asked, "Why?"
Sora stared at him silently for a long moment and her father waited. Finally he admitted, "If it's not too late, I want to ask her to date me."
"And if she says it's too late?" her father asked sharply.
Sora swallowed and told him, "Then I'll leave her alone. I won't bother her again." He paused, then added, "But I can't forget her, I can't stop wanting her, I've tried everything."
"Everything?" Mizuki's father questioned disbelievingly.
"Everything except drinking or drugs," Sora amended. "I've tried everything I could think of. Sports, music, games, exercise," he hesitated before adding honestly, "and women."
Mizuki's father gave him a wry look and suggested dryly, "Maybe you shouldn't mention that last one to Mizuki if you want her to take you back."
Sora replied firmly, "I won't lie to her."
Mizuki's father sighed and told him, "I guess you'd better come in and wait then. She won't get home for another half an hour or so."
Sora watched the older man turn away, leaving the door open behind him. It took him another moment to step forward and pull the door closed. Even though he'd been here once, the unfamiliar living space made him feel uncomfortable.
"Sit," Mizuki's father suggested after watching the taller man hover in the entry space for too long.
Sora dragged his gaze away from a family portrait where an obviously younger version of Mizuki stood in front of her two older sisters. The expression on the older man's face seemed odd for a moment, until he realized that it was actually sympathetic. He could only imagine one reason that Mizuki's father would be regarding him sympathetically, and he winced.
He could only ask.