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It has been six months since everything happened and today is the day. Today is the day where I lose the Chanelle surname, where I lose my freedom, and my happiness. I'll be Adrianne Adair after this day and I don't feel the least bit happy.ย
I didn't expect them to plan the wedding this fast. As the months passed by, Sebastian and I refused to give attention to each other, let alone give each other a single glance. Mr Adair had gotten on my last nerves which I knew would happen eventually. I walked away from wedding planning once due to him constantly bugging me and annoying me. My father has avoided me, I guess he doesn't have the guts to look me in the eyes.
Can't blame him.
Never have I ever felt so alone. The only ones who had been there for me were my sister, Elle, and Liam. I haven't seen Liam in over two months, he had been readjusting to life back here due to him travelling for nearly seven months. His unoccupied condo unit had to be taken care of. He also had to unpack his items and prepare to get back to work.
I still haven't talked to my youngest sister, Keanne, I lacked the guts to approach her. I can't do it. I don't know how to go to her and start talking as if nothing happened. I know there's a part of her that blames me for mother's death and I completely understand why.
Three knocks on the door interrupted my train of thoughts.
"Come in," I said, continuously staring blankly at my reflection.
The door opened to show June, who was also one of the people who were there to listen to me rant and cry when nobody was there. Two other women came with her. My heartbeat pounded against my chest. I'm still not ready.ย
Is there any way I can escape? Can I jump out the window? Can I shrink or could I turn invisible?
I felt a hand resting on top of mine and I whirled my head to my left where Elle was, softly smiling at me.
"You ready?" she asked.
I gulped. "Yeah."
Nope, I'm not ready. Help me, please.
"Ma'am, this is your makeup artist, while she's in charge of your hair," June said, gesturing to the two women. I forced a smile.
"Okay ladies, get to work!" Elle clapped her hands as she said so.
Throughout the process of getting me ready for the wedding, I kept zoning out. The occurrences of the past months flashing right before my eyes.
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"Hey!" Elle called as she ran into my room.
"What's so important this time it made you come barging into my room?" I asked, sipping on my coffee.
"Look at this!" She showed me her iPad which had pictures of different hairstyles.
"Okay...and?" I asked.
"Duh! Choose one!" she urged.
"For what?"
"For your hairstyle! For your wedding," she handed me her iPad.ย
"And how long did it take you to gather all these?" I scrolled through her gallery which had several pictures of hairstyles, low-key impressed.
"Not long." She bounced up and down. "Have you picked?"
I sighed and pointed to one hairstyle and she squealed. I covered my ears as she took her iPad from me and tapped on it a couple of times before handing it back to me.
"Choose from one of these," she said.
I looked at all the images and were now of faces of women wearing makeup. Some were very subtle and some were heavy. I opened an image with a girl whose makeup was 'just right'. She smiled brightly at me but her smile soon faded. I wasn't smiling, I stared ahead, slowly realising I am getting married in a couple of months. I can'tโ this can't be happening.
"Hey, as much as you despise this union, let's embrace the planning, yeah?" she rubbed my back.
Embrace the planning? I can't even be happy about the planning because I get to see Sebastian everywhere I go. Everywhere I go, he'll always be there.
I absent-mindedly nodded my head and smiled at her. "After all, what's the worst that could happen?" I forced a smile.ย
"Yeah..."
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Elle squealed beside me as she continuously clapped her hands. "All ready! Let's get you into the dress!" I turned my head to the mirror and smiled sadly.
At least she's excited.
I looked at how my hair was styled into a bohemian bun, raising my hand to touch it. It was a messy bun with a braid coiled at the base. I traced the braid with my fingers as I continued to gaze at myself in the mirror. My eyes scanned my entire face. It landed on the contour on my cheekbones, the highlights on my cheeks, the light pink lipstick which shone in the light.
I heard the sound of a door opening and spun around to see Elle and the two other women holding my wedding dress up. I stood up and June came to my side to help me in getting the dress on.
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"So, a big ball gown with a train and off-shoulder top?" she asked, hands on her hips.
"Yeah..." I breathed out while slowly nodding my head. I slowly spun around as I checked the dress in every angle, every side and smiled sadly at my reflection.ย
"Growing up," I began, "I've always dreamt of wearing mom's dress." Elle's hands dropped to her side as her expression slowly softened. "And now, they won't even let me do that. I can't even wear my own mother's dress to my wedding," I looked upwards, resisting the urge to tear up. "They want me to wear something 'unforgettableสผ."ย
A tear fell.ย
"I never pictured my wedding without mom walking me down the aisle, I never imagined getting married under these circumstances," I continued. "I wanted to spend time by myself, with you, and then the problem with mom happened and everything started piling up."ย
Elle raised her hand to rub my back as my voice started to tremble, "Iโ- I don't even know how to approach Keanne and I feel like such a coward for thinking like that. I feel like I failed everyone. I feel like Keanne and I are slowly drifting away from each other and I don't know how to prevent it." A single tear rolled down my cheek as my lips curled into a smile. "I'm getting married to a guy I hate and don't know all because someone forced us to."
"Great," I said.
I avert my eyes to Elle who was covering her eyes with her arm as she bit her lower lip to muffle her cries.
I turned to face her and bent down to hug her.
"I'm sorry, Elle."
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"Tada!" Elle raised her hands in the air after they got me in the gown. "You're looking great," she nudged me using her elbow.ย
I chuckled softly as I looked at the mirror again. I stared at myself in awe as I traced the intricate details on the gown's bodice as it bled into the skirt of the gown which flared out. I spun around and smiled. "The gown's pretty."
"Not as pretty as mom's though," Elle said beside me.
"True that."
My sister handed me kitten heels and helped me get in them. She raised the base of the skirt and I held it, I got in one shoe and accidentally let go of the skirt. I burst into laughter as Elle wiggled under the gown, trying to get me into the other shoe. I watched as she wiggled around creating weird protruding shapes under my gown. She crawled out the gown and snickered.
"I'm never helping you get into shoes while wearing that ever again," she said breathlessly.
"Yeah, don't."
I walked towards the door as Elle ran to get the bouquets. I had my hand on the doorknob when Elle raised the train of the gown, I muttered a 'thank you' as we descended the stairs and entered the limousine. Once inside, she handed me my bouquet of white flowers.
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"Honey, which bouquet would you prefer?" Pristine Adair asked me.
She tapped me lightly as she excitedly showed me more flowers. She was surprisingly kind and sweet, I honestly didn't think I'd get along with her but soon, I found myself getting comfortable. She even insisted I call her Pristine.
"I don't know, could you help me choose?" I told her.
"But I don't know which one you'd like," she said.
"Any bouquet would be fine, in my opinion."
She smiled, "How about this?" She showed me a bouquet of magnificent looking roses.
"Roses," I whispered as I held one close to my nose.ย
It didn't have a scent.ย
"Perhaps roses are her favourite, must note that down," I heard her say.ย
"Actually, Ma'amโ Pristine, hydrangeas are actually my favourite flowers," I told her.ย
She smiled. "Lovely."
I returned her smile. "It seems roses do the trick for weddings."