The night after I first met Sage was restless. I kept thinking about him, why I was comfortable around him. I didn't even know who he was and how or why he knew me.
I would probably tell him the truth if asked and that thought scares me the most.
The person I trust the most would be Lark, he knows almost everything there is to know about me, and yet I can't bring myself to tell him about it without fearing his reaction after. With Sage on the other hand, the thought doesn't daunt me as much.
By the next morning I was clearly tired from my sleepless night and wasn't even a step closer to understanding what was happening around me anymore. Everyone just assumed I was still tired from yesterday's party and left me on my own. Celeste wouldn't be visiting today also so; I took the opportunity to be in my room and didn't move out since I opened my eyes.
Mother, Father and Ares and Raven did come in for a bit but I acted busy with some papers so they left soon after. I would have told Lark to remain outside as well but he would be more suspicious then so I let him be, as much as I wanted to be alone this was the most 'alone' I could be.
Lark seemed to have noticed something, he's been glancing at me, checking on me. Unfortunately, I was currently spiraling down anxiety, I wanted to be alone, completely alone so I forced myself do push one last convincing act, "Lark?"
He turned to me, he's attention now fully on me, "Can you get me something light to eat?"
"It's nearly time for lunch, are you sure you want to eat something now?"
I hadn't checked the time so I was mildly surprised that it was that late already, "Just something small and light." Lark nodded and left to go to the kitchens, I waited for a bit before I moved, I went out my room for the first time today, quickly before Lark could arrive, I walked away the opposite direction from the kitchens to make sure that Lark wouldn't see me. Once I thought it was far enough, I slowed down a bit. Even though I managed to escape from Lark I still had to go unseen and there was no telling where everyone else was so I had to be careful.
Once I made it out the castle walls I went towards the stables towards my horse- a shiny black stallion with a single white diamond-shaped patch on her forehead. She began neighing as she saw me walk towards her, I grinned in return asking, "How have you been, sweetheart?" She nuzzled into my chest as I chuckled. I handed her two sugar cubes as I said, "Want to go for a run today June? Let's go somewhere far far away… alright?" I got a neigh in return.
I quickly saddled her up and we started to gallop right after I was on. I let June go where she felt, we were headed for the forests from the direction she took. Maybe we'd go exploring again and find a new place.
An hour and half later, we reached a lake somewhere in the middle of the forest. We hadn't come here before and I was glad for it. It was far, new and beautiful. It calmed me down, I knew if I waited there anymore, I would surely burst out all my frustrations to whoever asked- and that person would most probably be Lark. I didn't want him to think I'm crazy or lying to him just because I didn't want him to know the truth or anything like that.
As I got off June, I let her be free; I knew she wouldn't wander too far, she never did. While I on the other hand made my way closer to the lake, I sat near the edge of it enjoying the silen- I shouldn't have said that… because right at that moment I heard the sounds of a horse's hooves galloping through the trees. The forest wasn't as dense but just enough. I continued staring at the waters hoping that whoever was out there wasn't heading in the same direction I was in. And I was definitely hoping it wasn't anyone dangerous, I didn't feel like fighting today; I didn't feel like doing anything.
The hooves came to a halt right behind me, I turned my head to see a light brown stallion and Lark on top. I groaned, not bothering to keep up that princely appearance anymore, "I want to be alone, go away Lark." Lark didn't say a word as he pulled at the reigns doing the exact opposite of what I just said. I scowled as he came and sat beside me, letting Ginger- his horse, roam free with June. "Why won't you tell me?" he asked, finally after we sat in silence for a while, "I want to help you but, I can't if I don't know how."
"Just leave me alone." I muttered.
He released a sigh of what I hoped to be defeat, "What are you so afraid of Si?" I decided that engaging him wouldn't be beneficial anymore so I stayed silent hoping the frustration of it would drive him off, with my head filled with anxiety I could feel my temper rising, I knew I'd blurt it all out if we continued to talk.
"How about a trade?" he questioned again in a while, "A secret for a secret." I kept quiet telling myself, 'stay silent' like a chant, "I bet my secret is more unbelievable then yours"
He flashed a grin at me but from the corner of my eye I noticed, he seemed just as uncomfortable about telling his secret. I scoffed, "You don't even want to tell anyone this secret of yours, so shut up and get lost!"
Ohhhh shit shit shit, my eyes widened in shock, I've never spoken to him like that before…. And the look on his face told me he was shocked as well.
"Oh God, Lark… I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I mean I want you to go away, no wait that's not what I meant exac- shit ugh… anyway I'm sorry- fuck no I don't know what to say or what I'm saying." It was at this moment that I decided, I need to shut up myself. Lark stilled seemed stunned immediately I got up, deciding that walking away would be best right now. I was about to whistle for June when Lark caught my wrist, pulling me back down. "Calm down, Sirius. It's alright."
I nodded numbly; my anger was simmering down as was my anxiety. The silence grew between us again, this time not as heavy as the last.
"I used to hear a voice…" Lark voice rang through the silence, soft and hesitant, "Before I met you, when I was in the orphanage. I would hear a voice, no one less could just me."
I turned to look at Lark properly for the first time today as he spoke, "Everyday she would talk to me, telling me not to do certain things or go certain places." A small smile tugged at his lips, "At first, I ignored her. But whenever I did anything like that I'd end up in trouble, hurt or punished. Slowly I started to believe her words, the voice never harmed me, maybe that's why I believed her. Out of all her words, one thing she said always seemed mysterious at the same time incredibly important, 'You have to save them' and 'I don't want to see them in pain again'. She always said these but never said who or from what. Despite everything happening there she told me I'd be out of her soon, I'd just have to wait it out. I wanted to run away, somewhere far and safe." He chuckled eyes focused on the water in front of him, "It's a funny thing; I hated her, feared her voice, I imagined her telling me to harm myself one day but, it never happened. And then one day she just disappeared. I never heard her again."
I raised my eyebrows in question, it was only after he finished did Lark finally look in my direction, "Sometimes I miss her, other times I'm glad. I imagine she's finally found peace, or perhaps taken me to the starting point."
Thoughts were running through my head in millions, I tried to understand this, trying figure out who is who and what is what. I needed answers or I was sure to go crazy, "Who are you? Where are you from?" Lark answered, "Lark Fell, born and raised in an orphanage until the day I met you. A mysterious voice in my head raised me and I believe you were my starting point."
It was then that I realized just how much I had affected everything with one action, meeting Sage Velirion was because of this… the smile on Lark's face told me how much this ���starting point' meant to him.
"No, no you're wrong. You're so wrong. I'm not your starting point, I never was. Ares, it's always been him. I shouldn't have done that; Ares should have been the one right from the start." I felt a cold shiver run down my spine, unconsciously my hands reached to my hair, pulling at it. "I should have stayed quiet, Ares should have been the one to save you from there. Even if you would be in trouble, I should have waited…"
"What?! NO!! Siri-"
"NO!! You don't understand, it wasn't supposed to be me!! IT WAS NEVER ME!!"
"Sirius, ca-"
"NO! I AM NOT SIRIUS!!"
Lark was stunned and confused; I knew it! I could see it but I couldn't stop myself anymore, the anxiety the realization all of it was too much. I wanted to no, I had to say it all. Be done with it, let it all out. If I wanted to tell him properly so I tried to calm down first. I took a deep breath, and dared not to look at Lark. I didn't want to see the disappointment when he understands everything.
"My name is Alec, Alec Simmons. I am at the same time I am not Sirius." Talking like this would confuse him, I know but that's just how it is, "I remember a life before this where I was known as Alec. I used to play a game there… it was about this world. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm not making this up. The Kingdom of Alius, ruled by Gerald and Floren, in this kingdom are two princes- Sirius and Ares and one princess- Raven. Ares was engaged to the Duke's only daughter Celeste who then fell in love with him. One day Ares saves a boy from an orphanage- Lark, the orphanage was connected to some slave traders that was how he not only solved a crime but saved a boy who was one of the most capable supporters to have been on his side. Then comes along Helen, the female lead and Ares' future love interest. This not only brings about the annulment of his engagement with Celeste but also begins a series of events that end with deaths. Celeste for bullying Helen who she considered a rival for Ares' love. Sirius who lead a war against Ares because Ares takes the thrown just to have the power to be with Helen and to destroy Celeste. And Raven due to depression upon losing a close friend and brother. These are the main characters but, other than that a lot of other characters lost their lives."
I peeked a glance at Lark, hoping to see his reaction but his was blank faced, I wasn't sure if he was angry at me for trying to mess with his supposed future or for the outrageous 'truth'.
A while of silence built itself between us, I couldn't bring myself to say anything and Lark didn't even glance in my direction. I waited and waited some more, but nothing until I noticed a slight tremble in his hands and I knew it then, Lark wasn't thinking I'm crazy and he wasn't mad at me either...
He was absolutely furious!!
I couldn't wait anymore, I wanted to end this as fast as possible so I picked all the bits of courage I could find and spoke out, "Lark-" but before I even could broach the subject we heard the sound of twigs snapping, our heads turned immediately in that direction; staring into the forest for any dangers.
I just managed to catch some metal glint because of the sunlight and acted before I could think- I pushed Lark away just in time, a moment later and the arrow would have injured him. But I felt the burning pain as it pierced into my shoulder that caused me to wince.
I looked at Lark and pulled him to his feet and pushed him towards the forestation beside us for some form of cover. We both slumped behind a thick tree, Lark looked deathly pale when he saw the wound, I tried to grin the pain away saying, "I'm fine, make sure they aren't closing in on us." Lark nodded and went a little further in and I broke the arrow at it's spine, the head would keep the bleeding to the minimum. Luckily it was on my left hand, I pulled out my sword as I waited for Lark to return.