A pounding heart is the only thing can be heard.
I hear the sound of my own heart racing before I realize that I am safe and sound in my own bed.
Regulating my breathing the way the therapist showed me.
Inhale 4 counts
Holds 7 counts
Exhale 8 counts
Once I have calmed down enough to think with a clear head I turn my head slightly to see the time on my alarm clock that stands on my bedside table.
3:37 it reads.
"Ugh!" I grunt and throw myself back over onto my pillows.
Throwing my blankets to the side, I swing my legs to the side and feel my feet touch the fluffy carpet that lays beneath my bed. After rubbing my tired eyes I stand to my feet and make my way through my room doorway to the kitchen, grabbing a clean glass ,I head over to the fridge to pour my self some water.
With my glass of water in hand, I take a seat at the breakfast nook on the other end of the kitchen.
I dont know how long i sat there. After staring at the glass and taking a few sips every now and then, trying to figure out what has been waking me up the same time every morning since that day.
Flashback
"I'm gonna get another drink! Want one?" Nikky screams over the loud music and sweaty bodies.
Leaning over to speak into her ear to hear me "Nah, I'm gonna head to the loo!"
"'kay Ill meet you at the booth!"
I watch Nikky make her way over to the bar as I slip into the walk way that leads to the bathroom.
"omph"
"Hey, watch it!" I begin to say before I get a chance to look the person in the eye that almost knocked me on my ass..
I looked up to see..
Copper eyes
The most unique set of illuminated copper eyes you could ever imagine were staring back at me.
As we stood staring at each other.
Me at him with my mouth agape and him at me with a knowing smirk.
Before I got the chance to tell him to watch where he was going ,he abruptly turned around and vanished into the sea of bodies.
End of flashback
Coming back to the present moment ,i look down to see my glass empty.
Standing from the still i make my way over to the kitchen sink ,to rinse and leave my glass on the drying rack and head back my room.
Walking past the fridge and into the archway that leads into my room which used to be my dads old study.
"Hopefully I can get some sleep!" I mumble to myself quietly as I make myself comfortable under the covers.
Just like every morning when i try get back to sleep , as soon as close my eyes, I see those mysterious copper eyes.
So I tossed and turned til eventually I fell back asleep.
~
Clanking of dishes coming from the kitchen wakes me with a fright.
As I stare at the glow in the dark stars stuck to my ceiling that have been there since me and dad put them up there for my 6th birthday, I get lost in thought.
Movement in the corner of my eye by the door breaks my train of thought.
"Morning sweety!" Mom says pushing herself off the door frame and walking towards my bed to l,take a seat at the foot of my bed.
"Morning mum!" I say with a sigh while pushing myself to sit up ,bringing my knees to my chest and hands to my throbbing head.
"Rough night?"
All I could do was nod in return ,which only cause the throbbing to worsen.
As she scooted closer to me putting a hand on my knee."Well I'm busy breakfast. How does waffles sound?" She asked with hope in her voice.
Deciding to push down the morbid thoughts and unending questions.
"Sounds good to me mom!" I replied with the best smile I could muster.
"Go take a nice shower, wake up and come join me and dad in the kitchen for some breakfast."She said lifting herself off my bed turning towards the kitchen. "Then I'll give you something for the head of yours."
"Thanks mom!"
"Ofcourse sweety." Sending me a sweet smile she left to go finish breakfast. "Oh ,dont forget, dads taking you to school so don't be late." Popping her head back in as I lift myself up from my comfy safe haven. Yea right, safe haven my ass.
Looking over to the wall clock above the arch way I read its 6:35, only 25 minutes to get done.
"Shit!" I whisper under my breath as I make my way to the shower." Stupid wake up call, stupid, stupid, stupid. "Trying to forget about my headache.
~
Freshly showered, looking like a human again. I followed the smell of bacon ,eggs and waffles to the kitchen with a small genuine smile on my face.
As I sat on the stool that I took place on earlier this morning bringing back those morbid thoughts and reminded me I didn't get the adequate 8 hours of sleep in again.
Ugh!!
"Feeling better?" Mom asked with little hope in her voice.
With a sigh I dropped my head to the breakfast nook in front of me.
"That bad huh?"
"Hmm."
Footsteps could be heard coming from the steps in the corador.
"Babe! Nashaè up yet? I have an important meeting I need to attend this morning so she'll hav...." Dad cut his sentence short when he saw me sitting by the counter and sent me a small smile " Hey princess, thought you'd be in bed still?"
"She had a bad night love, cut her some slack!"
As he shushed mom and turned back to me" So graduation is in a week, excited?"
"Pretty nervous actually!"
"Nervous? For what? You know you've past, right?" He asked with a chuckle trying to encourage me abit.
Giving off a small laugh " That's not what I'm worried for dad, its standing on the podium in front of so many people!" I finished with a look of horror on my face.
Dad gave a hearty laugh making me smile once again.
I sent mom a greatful smile as she placed the plate with waffles in front me.
Mom broke the comfortable silence we were in while she finished cleaning up the kitchen and setting my and dads lunch down by the end of the counter.
On my way to my bedroom to grab my things for school, I felt a slight grip around my wrist ,as I look down at my hand to examine what had just been placed in it. " Take these" Mom motioned towards my hand and pulled me in to give me a goodbye hug " Don't let your bad night ruin your day sweety. We love you , don't forget that." She whispered before she pulled away to give me some oj to drink the pain killers she suggested I take for my throbbing head.
Watching her leave the kitchen , dad speaks bringing my attention back to him. " Ready to go?"
"Yea ,let me just grab my things" I said jabbing my thumb in the direction of my room.
"Sure thing kido. Ill meet you at the car!"
~
As I search around my room ensuring I have all I need for the day ahead.
"Got all my art book, got the stationery I need ,unless Nikky forgot something again" I say to myself with a chuckle while rolling my eyes" I mustn't forget my lunch. Uhm.... What am I forgetting" as I think to myslef out loud.
Honk honk
Move it James, I scold myself for getting being unprepared.
"Coming!" I screen hoping dad will hear me.
"Shit. Where did I put that thing?..... Ah got it!"
Shoving it into my backpack I make my way past the kitchen time grab my lunch and to the garage where I see dad in the car on the phone, waiting for me.
Tossing my backpack into the back I take a seat shotgun, as I pull the seat belt over my abdomen I see dad indicate that we'll leave soon and he's almost done.
Once dad ends the call we make our way out of the open garage, down the driveway and into the street.
My school isn't far from home, I could walk it but dad would rather drive me so we some time together because his work is so unexpected and we never know when he'll be sent away again for work.
"How's your head feeling?"
Being reminded of how my head felt when I woke up makes me realize, moms always know what medicine works best.
"Much better ,thanks dad."
~
When dad pulled into the parking spot outside the school grounds, I made no move to leave the car and kept my eyes out the window, watching other students pass us by.
"What's bugging kiddo?"
He had his dad face on when he tried to hide his worries but his eyes gave away everything.
"Dad stop stressing."
"Stressing? I'm not stressing!" He tried to convince me.
I gave him a side glance with a small smile.
"I'm fine, promise." I said trying to convince myself more than him.
"Nashaè.." He sighed " I know your growing up, you want to sort out your own problems but just know me and your mother are here for you."
As I pulled him in for a hug, feeling safe in his arms, I whispered in his ear" I know dad and I appreciate everything you and mom do for me."
Pulling away from him and stretching over my seat to retrieve my bag and open the car door as I decend I to he car seat again.
Before I exit the vehicle ,I turned to my dad to give him one last hug before I start my day.
Before I can pull away he gives me a squeeze.
As I make my way out of the car ,I hear my dad mumble something that doesn't reach my ears.
"What was that?"I asked as I closed the door and stuck my head through the open window.
He shook his head before his eyes focused on mine" Nothing just said I love you kiddo."
"Alright... Love you to dad, see ya later."
As I pushed myself off the car and turned towards the school gates I spotted my best friend Nikky making her way towards me.
"Whats up Mr.J?"
"Hey Nikky! Keep an eye on my princess for me will you!" Dad yells loud enough for a fewby standers to hear as he nudges his head over in my direction with a playful smile on his face and pulls away from the curb.
Shaking my head I make my way over to the school gates not waiting around for Nikky.
"Hey! Dude wait up!" She scolds me as she jogs to keep up.
Deciding not to answer her , I continue to make my way over to my locker.
"Doll whats up with you?"
This time I acknowledge her and with a sigh. "Nothing, just not feeling it today" I answer with a shrug.
"Well you better tell me what going on in that pretty little head yours because its getting on my nerves."
"What are you talking about?"
"You've been so out of it lately, withdrawing yourself from everything and everyone but you decide to keep everything to yourself and not let anyone in." She huffs the last few words before turning aroumd and getting lost in the crowded hallway.
"Nikky wait!" I rush after her. "Wait!"Finally I'm able to grasp her arm to turn her around.
"Wait" I say once more while holding up a finger as I try to catch my breath after chasing her down.
"I'm sorry,okay? I don't know what's wrong with me! I just feel different since that party we went to ,its weird I can't even explain it."
Unexpectedly she pulls me in for a hug. "I'm sorry Nash. I didnt mean to go off at you like that. I'm just worried." She said as she pulled away to look at me.
" There's nothing to worry about, promise. If that changes you'll be the first to know!"
" I better be!" She mocked but I knew she ment it sincerely as she swang her arm around my shoulders heading to homeroom.
"How about I come over tonight and we can relax about before graduation?" She suggested.
"Sounds good ,I'll ask mom and we'll take it from there." I told her feeling abit better.
"Today is going to be a good day!"
"That's the spirit!" She exclaimed as we walked through the threshold of our classroom, taking our seats shortly after.
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