By the time Jermaine leaves, I'm drained.
My head is pounding from all the crying, so I decide to take a shower to ease away the pain.
So, here I am. In the bathtub. Sitting and contemplating whether or not I should sink my head into the warm water.
I decide against that and rather, begin to think.
I haven't seen my mom today, which is funny because she is constantly on my ass about almost everything.
Dad will almost be 1 year passed. I think about him, but I feel like complete shit since I haven't tried anything to get him justice in this town.
Shit. The whole purpose of coming back to this shit town was to find out what happened to him.
At least that was my goal. But what am I doing? Kissing my new friend and being all buddy-buddy with my worst enemy.
Fuck you, Danielle. What in the world are you doing?
I need to get my head in the game. Really. And the first step is to break it off with Jaime. I just don't know how I would react when I see him again. In all his 'selfness.'
To move on, I need to let go. Which is what I need to do.
No.
Which is what I am going to do.
I get out of the tub, dry myself and my hair, and then dress and climb into bed.
I dream of what and how I will let Jaime down easy, but things are hard since he was my first.
---
There is no need to think of where my mom is at. Or where she's been.
"Danielle!" she hollers my name. I'm still in bed.
I groan in agitation, annoyed that my mother is back from wherever she was.
"Danielle!" she screams again and soon, I hear footsteps walking up the stairs. I roll around in bed, very annoyed at this point.
I can feel her presence from my room door. "Get up," she says.
I refuse to and continue to lay in bed, but she isn't taking any of that from me.
"Get up!" She pulls the duvet from my body, leaving me bare on my bed. "We need to get going!"
I think of her telling me about anything we had to do.
Nothing.
Nada.
"What?" I ask, well aware that she hadn't told me about any plans that were made.
I sit upright on my bed and cock my head to the side, rubbing my eye.
I glance at my mother, but she is looking at me with a funny expression. "We're going out."
"To where?" I ask, unsure of where we were going.
"Somewhere," she replies before saying, "You have one hour to get ready. Then we need to go."
I nod and she leaves. I lay in bed for another thirty seconds before rolling out of it and going downstairs to grab a meal. Today isn't Sunday, so I can eat. I grab two loaves of bread and cream cheese from the fridge, putting the bread into the oven to bake until crispy. While the bread is baking, I go back upstairs to my uncle's room.
I knock gently on his door, this time not barging in.
So that I don't see what I don't want to see.
"Yes?" he says to the door.
"It's Danielle," I say back to him, through the door. "Let me- Can I come in?"
It takes him a while before he answers me. "Sure."
I open the door and don't waste any time coming into his room. "Morning," I greet.
"What's up?"
"Do you know where we're going today?" I ask, bluntly. "Mom came into my room all weird and I don't know why. She said that I need to get ready in one hour."
"You. Not me right?" he asks as if to make sure he doesn't have to do anything for or with my mother today.
I look at him and raise my brow. "I think so? Are you not coming with us?"
"I don't think I am," he replies. "I don't really do 'get-togethers.'
"'Get-togethers?'"
"Yeah, the Jackson's are hosting a 'get-together.' They invited everyone in the town."
"I don't wanna go to that," I cringe in disgust.
"I think it'll be good for you. You can make new friends. Maybe meet some people-- get over your city boyfriend."
"First of all, I am over Jaime. And second, I do have friends."
"Okay, well, you can go play with them or something. And didn't your mom say that 'Jaime' is visiting tomorrow."
I totally forgot about that.
"Okay, well thanks for bringing that up," I say sarcastically.
"No problem, love," he winks and I walk out of his room and back to the kitchen.
I smile to myself as I eat my breakfast. I get to see Jaime tomorrow.
The feelings inside of me are conflicting. They're fighting for dominance within me.
I should break it off with Jaime, but I love him too much to even bring up the subject.
I said Mia had Jeremy completely whipped, but it looks like Jaime had me completely fawning over him in our relationship. And even after.
---
Look at me, at a get-together. By myself, while my mom mingles with her crowd. I sit outside in the front yard, with a cup of juice in hand. I look up to the sky as I drink my juice out of a red solo cup.
"Hey, stranger," I hear from behind me. "Funny to find you here."
I throw up the middle finger at the boy because I know exactly who it is. "It's a social gathering and my mom thinks I need help being social. Don't mind me."
He chuckles. "I haven't seen you in a while." He takes a seat next to me, where a nice batch of grass is. "What have you been up to?"
I sigh and look into his brown eyes. "Nothing much, but I did see Mia."
Dylan laughs. "Really?"
"Yeah," and I let him know everything. I tell him about the movie theatres and the fake relationship. He gets a kick out of it and we sit there laughing and talking, watching the sky.
"Stella," I hear. I must be having a false hearing because I think I just heard Jaime's voice.
"Stella!" There it goes again, and this time it seems like Dylan heard it too. He looks up.
"Isn't someone calling you?"
I shrug my shoulders and this time I look up and there he is in all his fine glory.
Jaime Wilson. The love of my life is making his way towards me at a fast pace. Nothing in hand.
"Jaime?"