I've seen Osborn on photos and on the news before, but this is the first time I've seen him in person. Frankly, I was expecting something... more. He is one of the most iconic supercriminals of all time, but the man standing in front of me is surprisingly ordinary, he looks more or less how you'd expect a middle-aged businessman to look, with the exception of the formula-enchanced muscles which his suit doesn't quite hide. Even his hair has begun to grey, which it usually didn't in the comics.
"Robbie..." I hear Songbird whisper behind me "Robbie, come on, let's get out of here!"
Osborn scowls "Don't you fucking dare run, Melissa! If you step one foot outside this office, I'm going to have both of you executed for deriliction of duty, is that clear?!"
Songbird ignores him, and tries to tug on Baldwin's arm to get him to follow her, but he seems frozen to the spot by indecision, knowing full well he doesn't have the slightest chance of stopping me, but feeling obligated to atleast try. I shrug at him.
"You can try if you want, but I guarantee you it won't turn out any better for you than it did last time."
"Baldwin, I'M ORDERING YOU-" Osborn snarls, but I cut him off.
"Seriously, Osborn, shut the hell up. They can't do anything to harm me and they know it, but by all means, if you want a live audience for your very overdue comeuppance, be my guest." There's a woosh as Baldwin and Songbird suddenly find themselves sitting in a pair of recliner chairs, a tub of popcorn appearing in their laps. They just stare dumbfounded at the snacks, like they half expect them to be poisonous or explode. "You guys want salt? Some of that melted lard they pass off as butter at the movies?"
Osborns face goes slack, before twisting in fury "Y-you think this is a damn joke?!"
"Yeah, but not a funny one. See, the actual joke here is YOU, Mr Osborn. Mainly the endless bullshit you've been subjecting the world to over the past decade with virtually no consequences. The fact that you're still walking around is nothing short of a miracle. Well that, and a testament to Spiderman being FAR too nice to his enemies."
He scoffs "I don't know what you think you've heard, but-"
"You're seriously not still going to try to deny you're the Green Goblin, right? I'm not a Daily Bugle subscriber, Osborn. I won't start beliving blatant lies because you yell them loudly enough!"
"I WAS the Green Goblin! I've been cured, I was a sick man, but I'm serving my country now! I'm working to make it safe, safe from...freaks and monsters like you!"
I nod thoughtfully "Mm-hmm, interesting interpretation. Who else was in the room literally 10 minutes ago when Mr Osborn here screamed and ranted about how he manipulated his way into basically instituting a fascist enforcement group? Show of hands!" I raise my hands, and behind me, Songbird reluctantly raises hers as well, shrugging sheepishly as Baldwin stares at her. Finally, he looks away, and raises his hand as well. I send out a bit of power, and the frozen forms of Radioactive Man and Moonstone raise their hands as well. "Oops, looks like it's unanimous, Osborn! Better come up with a better sales pitch than that!"
"It doesn't matter what you or those traitors think, I'm going to institute real order in this country! The people are afraid, tired of the deaths and horrors wrought by superhumans-"
"Oh for- YOU DID THAT! You spent years running around in a fucking Halloween costume terrorizing New York, I don't even know HOW many people you killed, and you avoided the consequences for it time and time again because of your mental state! Lots of people have mental disorders, Osborn, but they don't turn into mass murderers! I know exactly what your problem is, it's called being a fucking asshole! And it's high time you stop getting away with it just because a politician wants to look tough on crime!"
And... is he seriously smirking?! "Ah, so you're trying to make some big stand here, is that it? And what exactly are you going to do about it, mutie? You're going to kill me? What do you think will happen when word gets out that the latest mutant boogeyman walked into a government installation and murdered a U.S asset because he had a grudge against him? You'd be doing the Friends Of Humanity's job for them, Congress will send Sentinel production into overdrive just on the off chance they might kill you in the ensuing bloodbath." He laughs "You come in here with your powers and expect me to be intimidated by you? I've fought superheroes with my bare hands since you were in high school! I ran a multi-billion dollar company before you were born! There's nothing you can do to frighten me!"
I shake my head sadly "Oh, dear Mr Osborn... you just haven't met anyone with the right imagination. See, fighting Spiderman, that's tough, but what does he really do? He punches you and he calls you names. That's it, that's your arch-enemy. A man who could have, and should have killed you a long time ago, and kept sparing your miserable life out of misplaced guilt and morality. But he and I do agree on one thing - I'm not going to kill you."
"I knew it, just like every other wanna-be do-gooder, all talk, no balls- GLLK!" Osborns smug words are cut off as he clutches his throat, feeling something twist and change inside. "What-what's happening?!" His voice is different now, sounding more like the demented screeching of the Green Goblin than the deep voice of Norman Osborn. Behind me, Songbird shrieks as she sees Osborns body begin to change, his posture growing hunched, his limbs thinning.
"Like I said, you won't die here, Osborn. You're going to live for a damn long time, and the whole world will know what you really are. From this day on, you will never be able to hide what you really are again, and excuse me for getting biblical, but you will walk the Earth forever with the mark of evil on your face!"
Osborn stares at his hands, which have turned gnarled, the skin a sickly green. He drags his clawed fingers over his head as his hair falls off, feeling his ears grow pointy. Where Osborn once stood now stands a pitiful, goblin-like monstrosity, the expensive business suit hanging off his ugly, bony frame. The creature runs his fingers over his hideous face, moaning in horror "What-what have you done to me?! I'M A MONSTER!!"
"Yes, you are, Osborn. Only now, the outside reflects what's on the inside. From this day on, anyone who looks at you, any being with the capacity of thought, who looks upon you, will instinctively know who and what you are, everything you've done in your entire miserable life. And they will loathe you, from the deepest, most primal part of themselves. There will be no place on this Earth where you will ever find sanctuary again." I kneel down in front of the goblin, staring into his listless eyes "And I've made sure you're going to live through all of it. Who knows, maybe by the time you actually die, you'll have suffered so much that Hell won't have anything left to do to you." I pat his head condescendingly. "Enjoy the rest of your life, Norman. If I were you, I'd think about leaving as soon as possible, because the effect is going to kick in any moment now, and Mr Baldwin and Miss Gold don't exactly need more reason to hate you."
I stand up and leave the miserable creature to his fate, turning back to the last two members of the Thunderbolts. Baldwin looks like he's about to throw up, while Songbird is covering her mouth, staring at the scene in front of her in silent horror. I shrug awkwardly.
"Told you you should have left when you had the chance. Still, sorry you had to see that, I usually try to not go all Old Testament, but really, Osborn was really pushing it at this point."
"P-please don't hurt us" Songbird stammers. I roll my eyes.
"I'm not going to hurt either of you, if I was going to I'd have done it already. You're not nearly bad enough to require my intervention, much less any of the stuff I did to Osborn. You know what, just to show there's no hard feelings..." I point at Songbird, who screams and nearly leaps over the backrest of the recliner. She looks herself over, but sees nothing different.
"W-what did you just do to me?!"
"Got rid of the nanites in your blood they were using to control you. Consider it early parole. Anyway, I gotta run, so you crazy kids have fun being home alone! And again, I'd advice you to get rid of Osborn sooner rather than later, because it's going to get hard to ignore your intense loathing of him really fast. Byeeeee!"
And in a flash, I'm gone, taking the frozen form of Moonstone with me.
...
"Damnit, I just realized I forgot to turn Radioactive Man back to normal! Oh well, he can be a lead statue for a day, it won't hurt him none. It'll be like a time-out. Anyway, that was pretty much my whole afternoon, I'd say I was productive enough."
I turn my attention back to the TV, not noticing that Jen has gone very still. Finally, I notice her staring at me. "What?"
"...you...turned Norman Osborn... into a goblin?"
"I thought it was poetic."
"And-and what about Moonstone?!"
"Oh, right, I was sort of vengeanced out after Osborn, so I stuck her in your closet until I could think of something good. What's a good punishment for a therapist who manipulated six patients to suicide?"