"Okay, I get why you guys brought The Sentry, it makes sense, he's the biggest gun you got, I'm almost flattered in a weird way. Ares I get, he's basically a Poor Man's Thor, you might as well try, right?. Wonder Man, he's got those crazy energy powers, maybe you get lucky and they work on me? They won't by the way, just saying, I can see the logic there. I even get why Miss Van Dyne is here, for that sad little sneak attack you just tried to pull. Didn't have a chance in hell of working of course, but I can see why you'd try it. But why, on God's Green Earth, did you take Miss Romanoff with you?!"
Romanoff scowls, running her fingers over the Widows Bite around her wrist. "You wouldn't be the first superhuman who underestimated me because I lack metahuman powers myself. It didn't end well for any of them."
Oh for crying out loud. "Miss Romanoff, I mean no disrespect to you or your accomplishments, but there is such a thing as having the wrong skillset for a mission. This is one of those times for you, because I guarantee you there's nothing in your arsenal that will work on me."
She raises an eyebrow "So sure of that, are you?"
"Alright, let me make you a deal, I'll surrender and come quietly with you, I'll even submit to whatever ridiculous prison you think will be enough to hold me, if you can successfully land a single attack on me. It doesn't even have to hurt me, just connect."
"You can't be serious" Danvers cuts in "We're not here to play games with you, Ginnungagap, we're here to apprehend you!"
"And I'm willing to allow myself to be apprehended, if the Black Widow can successfully attack me, which you must have thought she could do if you brought her with you. Surely bringing in the big bad mutant that are making your bosses so nervous is worth the risk?"
Wasp, having recovered from my accidental smack and returned to normal size, flies over to the Widow. "Natasha, I don't know about this..."
"We've beaten superpowered jerks high on their own egos before, Janet. If he's actually willing to uphold his end of the deal, it's worth trying. It's better than risking an actual fight."
"Oh, I'll uphold my end of the deal. In fact, how about I make it easier for you, Miss Van Dyne can join in if she wants, since she technically already managed to connect an attack once, even if it didn't work. If either of you managa to again, I'll come with you."
Romanoff and Van Dyne share a look, and despite Danvers protests, the two dart forward, only to split off in separate directions, their stinger weapons readied...and just as they're about to fire, the two women vanish, leaving behind their costumes which keep moving forward comically for just a moment, before falling to the ground along with their weapons and communicators.
Danvers rushes over, picking up Natasha's catsuit, but there is no trace of her, nor of Van Dyne. She looks up at me furiously "You miserable- what the hell did you do to them?! You said all they had to do was land an attack on you!"
"Yeah, but I didn't say I was going to just let them! Trust me, they're in a better place now."
Wonder Man lunges towards me, only to be kept back by the Sentry "You fucking bastard! You killed my friends, I don't care how powerful you are, you're going to-"
I stop him "They're not dead, you idiot. How pointless would that be? I meant they're literally in a better place. More specifically, a nude beach on Hawaii."
The heroes stare at me in disbelief, something shared by the gathered mutants who looks just as dumbfounded. I shrug. "What? I sent their I.D's and their wallets with them, I'm not that much of a jerk! I just wanted them out of the way somewhere, I would have sent the whole group there, but the rest of these assholes would just fly right back."
"Yeah, it's just... why a nude beach?" Summers says uncomfortably.
"Honestly, it was just a random idea I had. The point is, Black Widow and the Wasp gets to sit this fight out and work on their all-over tans, while the rest of you get to question all the choices you've made that led you up to this. Now, who wants to take the next shot?"
Danvers tosses the catsuit aside angrily, and looks to the Avengers. "Avengers, I want you to take this smug prick down, NOW!"
Ares grins viciously as he pulls a nasty-looking axe from his back "Alright, mutant messiah, you want to see how you'll measure up against a REAL god?"
I smirk "Sure, you know where I can find one?"
Ares grin turns into an ugly grimace and he rushes forward with a bellow of rage, almost knocking down Danvers in the process, axe primed over his head...and that's as far as he gets before he slams into the adamantium wall that appears right in front of him. While he's stunned, the wall morphs into a sphere, which draws back before crashing into him, sending him flying across the mansion lawn. His axe lifts off the ground and is sent after him, the edge cutting into the ground right next to his head.
I dismiss the adamantium sphere with a wave "Okay, I think we've established that attacking me head on won't work, you got anything else?"
Ares begins struggling back to his feet, blood dripping from his swollen lip "Pfft, if you think it's that simple to defeat the God Of War, you are about to learn a harsh lesson, mutant! I've slain foes that makes your power look like parlor tricks!" He grabs the handle to his axe, but to his surprise, he finds that no matter how much he tugs on it, he can't seem to budge it from it's spot. "What in the seven hells?!"
"Yeah, I'm keeping the axe stuck in the ground until you learn some manners, young man!"
"You insolent-"
"Ares, enough, he's just toying with you" a deep voice says, and I realize that The Sentry has spoken for the first time since they arrived. "This isn't going to work, let me try it my way first before we have to resort to further violence."
Danvers looks uncertain "You sure that's a good idea, Sentry?"
"I'm sure he's willing to listen to reason." Sentry steps out of the group, and walks toward me with his hands raised in a placating gesture. "Alright, you've made your point perfectly clear, son. How about we just talk this out?"
Son? I'm 33. "You sure have a funny idea of what talking means."
"I know, situations like these can go wrong fast, maybe we should have approached less agressively, but there's no need for further escalation. Surely we can end this peacefully?"
"Sure, just scrape your friend off the lawn and get out of here."
"Now, son, you know we can't do that. We need to bring you in for everyone's safety, including your own. I know you think you're helping, but the kind of power you have, and the way you've been using it, it's not how things are done anymore. People like us, people with powers, we need to work with the government, not against it, otherwise we're just asking for another disaster like Stamford. We just wants what's best for everyone."
I just stare at him "Are...are you serious? Oh my god, you actually are! You actually believe that horseshit!"
"Now, there's no need for-"
"NO, SHUT UP!!" Sentry steps back, surprised "Do you even realize where you are?! This is the fucking Xavier Mansion! Every single person here has been a victim of the government one way or another, you have any idea how much bullshit we have to endure?! There was an entire cemetary full of teenagers back there I had to bring back to life because the government couldn't be arsed to keep an eye on William Stryker! And remember Operation Zero Tolerance? Because I guarantee everyone here does!"
Danvers takes offense to that "The people behind Zero Tolerance were acting without proper authorization, it wasn't the government's faul-"
"HEY, I'M TALKING RIGHT NOW, SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN, DANVERS!! Yeah, it's never anyone's fault every damn time someone tries to wipe us out, or put us in camps, or enslave us, but somehow it still keeps happening. And you come here with your goddamn badges and sense of authority and expect me to just obey you? You think you're heroes? You're nothing but ass-kissing sycopanths, every last one of you. That enough talking it out, Reynolds?!"
Sentry blinks "Wait, how did you-"
I point at myself "REALITY WARPER, YOU IDIOT! You can't keep any of your grubby little secrets from me! So listen, because this is all I have left to say - I am not, nor am I ever going to submit to you, or anyone else in the corrupt shithole SHIELD made of itself! And, someday very soon, there's going to be a reckoning for what you have done in the name of the law. Now, either leave, or you'll see what I can REALLY do!"
Sentry's face goes blank and his posture stiffens "I see. I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but you've forced out hand." He moves in superspeed, his arms shooting out towards me, but much to his shock, I grab him by his hands just as quickly, and no matter how much force he uses, he can't seem to make me move, or even break free. I glare at him.
"That...was an exceptionally bad idea, Reynolds." There's a sudden flash of light, and when it fades, the Sentry is gone. In his place stands a disleveled, middle-aged man, his paunchy physique looking comical dressed in the now oversized Sentry uniform. I shove him backwards, releasing his hands, and the shocked Robert Reynolds falls on his ass on the lawn, staring down at his body.
"My-my powers! What have you done?!"
I give him a cold look "Helped you be more responsible. After all, you can't endanger people with your powers if you don't have any powers to begin with, right? Doesn't it feel just great?" I ignore the gibbering Reynolds and turn toward the rest of the Avengers, who are staring at their newly depowered teammate. "Still feeling confident about your chances, Miss Danvers?"