(Still on ELLA'S point of view)
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Ahhh... I am so tired. It was only first day in Institute but it was pretty intense especially the Physical training. I never had any kind of relation with exercise but today, I ran today like I have never before.
Actually I never really did any physical exercise but today, the fitness trainer ordered everyone to run 3 miles as warm up. I could say he was being quite merciful on everyone as it was just day one. The training is not even 1% of the fitness training we are going to receive later according to the fitness trainer. He also told us that he is preparing the trainees for the real upcoming training session, they have to face.
If what we had today was 1 percentage of the real training, then I can only imagine how the upcoming training would be. As much it was tiring, the training was great. I felt energetic towards the end of training session.
The trainer was very encouraging. He was trying to push everyone to their best.I thought that he would be strict and no nonsense person but he was pretty chill and humourous. Maybe the teachers were scaring all the trainees to make them give up at present rather than wasting their as well as the trainer's time. Maybe this unofficial one month is trainees thinking and analysing period where we get to experience little bit of actual hardship and decide if we can really endure hard physical as well as mental training.
The official training is not a joke and neither is the responsibility that one gets after the completion of training is a game either. Being responsible for the security of the Nation is very nerve wrecking and it needs sturdy shoulders to carry the weight of its power and position; be it a police officer, an intelligence officer, a politician or anyone in authority. An officer is a person who has a position of authority in a hierarchical organization. An officer is responsible for the nation and its citizens. A right official can become the pride of their nation and a wrong official can destroy the nation.
According to my theory, the teachers are going to be very lenient this one month . But it still is difficult to say anything for sure as I don't know much about the rules and regulations or the functioning of this institute.
But one thing I am sure about is that I have to take advantage of this one month as much as possible because I have a feeling that once this unofficial training is over, hell is going to break on all of the trainees in this Institute.
My confidence was shaken up all the while I thinking about all this. I don't have trust in myself whenever it comes to self assertion. I unknowingly underestimate my potential. The self doubt prevails and clouds over my will power and confidence sometimes but this time, I have decided and I am determined to stay till the end.
This time I won't back off like all other times I had. I am going to try this time. I am going to give my best in this training. I will fight till the end and try harder than ever before for myself and my parents. They have been my biggest strength and motivation and now that I need them, they are supporting me in their hearts. They provides me strength to fight and do my best. I always tried to give them the best of me and this time I have decided that I am going to make them proud anyhow and in any condition.
They have done so much for me and now it's finally my turn. I am not going to disappoint them; nope I will fight till the end even if I have to go through many hardships.
And it's time that I do something for myself too. It's time leave all the self doubts and dilemma aside and live freely without any terms and condition. I want to work hard for myself so that I won't have any regrets later on.
I heard a phrase among my friends. YOLO,You Only Live Once, they said...
YOLO, I wonder why people live in regret?
YOLO, then why not try to at least reduce the number of regrets from live?
YOLO, then why not live this moment and regret later?
YOLO, then why not dream once again and think later?
YOLO, then why not try to fulfill our dream and deal with everything later?
No one is looking at us, they are busy in their own world; so why not forget about everyone and live our life as we want?
Who is stopping us?
Who has us chained down?
Who control us?
Why are we letting them control us?
But the biggest question is:
Do we dream?
Did we tried to fulfill them?
Did we fought back when we needed to?
Does our fear controls us?
and do we let our fear have its way in our own life?
Do we let others decide our fate?
Did we lost ourselves?? If so then,
When did we loose ourselves?
Are we same as before?
Are we okay now after giving remote of our life to others?
Are we truly really happy?
Do we have guts to dream again and fight to fulfill them?
What is making us so weak and coward?
Why are we running away?
Do we trust ourselves?
If not, then who will?
If we won't trust ourself who will?
If we won't fight for ourself who will?
We don't understand that we have only ourself in this world. No one understands us better than ourself. No one knows what's in our mind except us. No one is interested to solve us because they are struck in their own world. So let's try to forget our fear just one time and do what we want. Do whatever we want and eat whatever we want. Just once, let's forget this world and live however we want.
YOLO is now my new motto of life ; my new mission and the beginning of a new life.
I am going to hope for best and be positive with my motto.