It's Saturday, which means I don't have to wake up at five. So I wake up at five twenty-five. What? Old habits die hard I guess. Five forty-five is not that early though, normal people get up at six to eight every day. After I get ready, which means doing my hygiene stuff; and then putting on some lip gloss (I don't like makeup, it's bad for your skin and takes forever), I go downstairs to see breakfast already made.
My house is middle class, with only my mom and me to pay the bills. My dad left us after Mommy got pregnant with Hanah, and Mom is gone so much, that really all she does is cook and pay the bills. And love us. She makes sure that we know she loves us more than life itself. But she also took the role of my manager, and she can be a really mean one too. I never get a say in what babysitting jobs I get, and I don't have the option to refuse them. Leaving my schedule filled.
To.
The.
Brim.
All that babysitting does give me the perk of knowing almost everyone in my town, and it's not necessarily that bad. I love doing it. During my two first years, I worked for free, not because I had to, but because I love doing it. Which you probably know by now because I always talk about it. But when I turned ten I started charging because I wanted to get stuff for myself. I made 14,000 that year. Imagine what having fourteen-thousand dollars at ten years old was like. Crazy. But my dad ended up taking half of it to pay for bills because he wanted to save his money for "play money". I didn't give my money away again though.
Me and Mom talked more about the fact that my siblings and I will be moving in with the Shradings for a month, and we got everyone's bags packed and ready to go. We move in about a week, which is awesome. I have only been to the Shrading residence once, and my oh my is it big. And gorgeous.
"And so darn big! Like ten million times the size of your house." My subconscious reminds me. We have a love/hate relationship.
As I run down my narrow, brown, and cream staircase, my older sister Beth calls me. I miss her so much. When she gets a break, she usually goes to her friend Ethan's house. I know why though. My parents hate her and Ryder for being rebellious or something like that, so they hardly ever come by to visit. They love me, I know they do. It's just hard to see it sometimes.
"Hey, girlie." Beth greets.
"Beth! I missed you so much, you don't even know. And Ryder too! Is he there? If he is, put it on speakerphone, I have something to tell you!" I exclaim. Beth laughs and I imagine she is shaking her head right now.
"Chill, Belle. We missed you two. Our break is coming to an end, so we wanted to know if you wanted us to pick you up and take you somewhere." She says and I am reminded that my older siblings have such a bad relationship with my mom that they don't even come by to say hi. A tear rolls down my cheek. I don't reply because I know if I do, I will start crying. Beth hates it when I cry, but I don't know why. Her and Ryder are usually the reason I cry. Between them, dad, and stress, I cry a lot. Beth doesn't know that she makes me cry the most, or that I cry at all. I know she would lose her mind if she knew I was sad, so I keep my sadness to myself.
"Clare? You there?" I hear the concern in Ryder's voice. I sniff and run my fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, I'm here." I manage to say. I really don't know why I am so emotional.
"Have you been crying?" Beth questions and I have to remind myself to keep it in.
"No, I'm good. But I do have news," I say to them and myself. By trying to remember happy things, I can forget not-so-happy things.
"What's the news?" askes Ryder and I smile.
"You know Ms. Eva, Mom's friend?"
"Yeah..." He drags.
"I am going to be living with them for a month. Me and everyone. Except for Mom. She's going to be on a business trip, which is why I am going to be staying with them," I tell them excitedly. I have been waiting to tell them for three days now, but I never got a hold of them.
"That's awesome Clarabelle. By the sound of it, I thought Mom was pregnant again." Beth laughs and I get confused.
"Huh?"
"It would be the only logical explanation as to why you were so happy. And started crying." Explains Ryder.
It's true, I do love children, and I get way over-excited every time mom gets pregnant, but not right now. I have to at least graduate high school first. I mean, I am only fifteen, and taking care of eight children, plus babysitting so many kids, is really stressful, even though I love it. The plan is to spend high school studying, hanging out, and maybe letting Layla take me to one party. Maybe. When I'm a junior and have made friends with all of the teachers. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a suck-up. I just like to know everybody in my environment. I kind of got used to it after babysitting for all of LA. I've got it worse than teachers. Imagine having to memorize the names of every single kid in the whole town. It's a lot.
I shake my head, then remember they can't see me. "Nope, Mom isn't pregnant. Is it hard to get pregnant without a husband?" I wonder out loud.
"Umm, what?" Ryder questions.
"Is it hard to get pregnant without a husband?" I repeat.
"You have got to be kidding me!" She yells. I think she was yelling at me.
"What?"
"She still hasn't given her the sex talk, Ry." She tells my brother.
"The what?" I ask. They don't answer. "Guys, answer me." I plead. I hate not knowing what they are talking about, and it happens a lot.
"Well, we have to go now, love you," Beth says quickly. Questioningly quickly.
"Love you too. Shrading house, here I come!" I laugh and wait for her to hang up. I always let the other person hang up, I hate doing it. But she doesn't.
"Beth?"
"Did you say Shrading?" She sounds worried. Really worried.
"Yes...? Is something wrong?" It looks like Ryder left, so it's just me and Beth now.
"Shrading as in Shradning Corporite?"
"Yeah?"
"Oh my God, I have to call Ethan,"
"Beth, what's wrong? And saying the Lord's name in vain is wrong, no matter what the problem is." Then I think, I probably shouldn't have said that.
She needs to know though!
But it is probably important. She just wasn't thinking.
That doesn't matter. I mean it does bu- My inner argument is interrupted.
"Clarabelle, I think you might be staying with one of our friends." This sure is interesting.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I ask warily.
"I don't know yet, I'll call you back." She promises and hangs up.
She has left me very kerfuffle...
<>
I am grounded. Again. Does that mean I can't go out of the house? Obviously. Does it mean I don't go out of the house? Obviously not.
On Wednesday I met up with the boys and we did what any drunk high schoolers would do without that one sensible friend (aka Alex) there to help us out. We got caught. And it was messy. When I got home from the police station my mom was pissed. She called Dad. Who laughed his ass off, just like Ethan did when he had to pick me up. Then she called him a childish bastard and the reason her children act like adults. After laughing with Dad for a good six minutes, I told her that I am the one who takes pride in teaching my siblings their ways and she near killed me. Guess it's somebody's time of the month.
Now I am sitting in the living room about to listen to my mother's "I'm going to be gone for a month and leaving a random girl in charge" speech. My mother walks into the living room with a notepad. I was about to give a sarcastic comment, but then-
"You really planned this shit out, didn't you?"
-Mia stole the words right out of my mouth. I smile to myself. Like I said, I take pride in knowing my little sisters and brothers are going to turn out just like me. My mother gives me the death glare I've been waiting for.
"I blame you for this Elec." She says waving her hand in dismissal. "Now, we need to talk about the Darling's moving in. Mia, you first." I honestly don't know why I'm here at all.
"Why am I here?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.
"Because Elec, I am giving each one of you rules."
"And when am I going to get these 'rules'?"
"Well, you were going to be after Mia. Now you are going to be last." Don't you hate it when your parent does that? Say 'you were going to get this' or 'you were going to be able to do this' but then change their mind when you open your mouth?
"Bu-"
"Before you say anything, yes you have to stay here the entire time and no I don't care if it's not fair. I am your mother and can do whatever the hell I want." And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the gene that created me. I love it when I drive people mad.
"As I was saying, Mia. Your first rule is to watch your mouth. You know she-"
"Why can't you say her name? You know its Cla-" Mia begins.
"She is going to be introducing herself, thank you. Can I finally get to your rules?"
"Mia's ten mom, you can just write it out and we can read it. Chase is, I don't know, eight?" I look to Chase and he nods. I was about to continue when Mia gasps.
"Honey, what's wrong?" Askes, well I don't need to say who asked. It's the only one in this goddamned room who says 'Honey, what's wrong'.
"So you can remember his age, but not your little sister's!?!" I am left dumbfounded. How can this much fire be put into a little ten-year-old? Wait, nevermind, I guess she's obviously not ten.
"I am nine! NINE!!" She gets up and walks over to me. I am a little scared. "You are sick! YOU UNDERSTAND! I HATE YOU!" She screams and storms out. I look at mom.
"Is it her..?"
"Yup," She shakes her head.
"This is why I don't have a girlfriend. I fuck 'em while they're fun and go. Periods are too much for a man to handle," She laughs while Chase and Lilly look confused. I forgot they were here.
"You know, having a man-whore for a son really does pay off sometimes. I don't have to explain what a period is, thank God,"
My pride. It's been shattered.
"Mmm, that hurwt. I few yo' pain brover, I few it," Lilly looks at me with a sad face. I stop for a moment and appreciate what I have created. Then I almost die laughing. She doesn't even know what Mom is talking about, yet somehow she noticed that my ego took a blow. I love this child.
<>
"Why the fuck are we here?" Questions Dylan. I brought the guys over to talk about my new living situation.
"As you all know, I have called you over today to discuss some serious matters," I start. The boys roll their eyes.
"Cut the stockbroker shit and get to the point, will ya? We're grounded too you know." Zeke says with a bored expression. So much for my business meeting approach. Ah, fuck it.
"I am going to be having a chick and her eight fucking siblings live with me for a fucking month because my parents are going out of town and the girl is her fucking favorite babysitter or some shit and she may or may not be this God's little fucking princess with the innocence of a fucking toddler or something and I don't know which one of you I'm going to live with for the next fucking month or if I'm going to get an fucking apartment or a hotel but my mom will never let me move out and she said I have to be 'nice' but she sounds like a stuck up bitch." I finish in a breath. The guys stare at me in awe and Alex is blinking quickly trying to process what I just said.
"Well," Alex finally speaks, "I think you should just be nice. I know she can't be that bad."
"And how do you know?" I ask him. I really do wonder how he "knows".
"You're always wrong. I swear this girl's gonna pull up wearing a crop top and booty shorts." He laughs and the rest of us join him. I doubt that my mom would hire someone that would wear anything other than a church gown.
"Oh God," Zeke whines. Zeke has always been my best friend. He is the one I most relate to, as we are both global celebrities. My dad owns Shrading Corporate, which has branched off into over twelve different companies, and his family are the stars of "Pose for the Pryxleys," a reality TV show. The biggest reality TV show actually, just like Shrading Corporate is the second most successful company in the world.
"Looks like I'm in the same situation that you're in, brother." What does he mean?
"What do you mean?" Alex steals my words right before I say them.
"Read this," Zeke hands the phone over to me and I read the text message from his mother out loud.
"'Hello Zeke. John and Mary Dawson have put themselves into comas. Dumb fucks. They won't be out of it for at least three years. John and Mary have left Madilyne to us, and she will arrive in one or two days. Love you, don't take it out on me. If anything it's the Dawsons fault for being so stupid. And leaving the girl to us. This will make life much more interesting though. Think of it as publicity'" I finish.
"Wow," Alex responds.
"Is the girl hot?" Dylan smirks at Zeke. Of course, that is the one question Dylan askes. Of course.
"I don't know. The last time I saw her was when I was eleven,"
"Well, this is going to be interesting," I laugh and put my arm on his shoulder. "I can live at your place and the Dawson chick can live over here,"
"Wait, so was she hot when she was eleven?"
"God Dylan, won't you ever shut up!" I complain.
"What? Can't a hormonal teenager ask his fellow hormonal teenager if his old friend was a hot eleven-year-old?" He asks. Stupidly might I add. He asks stupidly. I shake my head in disbelief.
"No actually, you can't ask if Dora the Explorer was hot. It's literally illegal,"
"Since when do you care what is legal?"
"It is confirmed," Alex says out of nowhere. "I am friends with a bunch of stupid, badly behaved, ill-mannered, short-tempered, bad habited, criminal, child predators. Why? I have no fucking clue." He finishes his long line of insults and the rest of us laugh our heads off. This guy is fucking hilarious.
"I am actually very offended right now." Zeke playfully glares after we all calm down.
"You know what?" Dylan looks at him, "Me too."
"Yeah man, I'm actually pretty hurt." Hunter agrees.
"I mean, I knew you were a dick, but to stoop that low?" I put a hand over my chest and look at him with false sincerity. "I can hardly believe it."
"God, you guys are weird." Alex shakes his head and we all laugh again.
<>
It's now three days until all hell breaks loose. Having twelve children in the house sounds like it should be something worse than hell, but until I find that word, it's hell. Today is Saturday, so I didn't wake up until two. In the afternoon. Yeah. After Mia's tantrum, Mom gave up on trying to tell us our "rules." Thank fuck. It is now two forty-five and all I've done is shower, brush my teeth, and play on my phone. I get bored so I decide to text Zeke.
Me: So, when is Dora the Explorer coming
He doesn't answer for six minutes.
Zeke: In 7 hrs, she doesn't start school 4 another 2 weeks tho
Me: God I'm lucky. Meghan's perfect children r coming in 3 fucking days. Mia chase and lily r literally going insane because the babysitter is some goddess or something
Zeke: I think I have u beat. Half of the entire world is going crazy bc somehow they found out that Dora is going to be joining PFTP
He and his family are reality tv stars, remember? Pose For The Pryxleys.
Me: Definitely beat
Me: Wait, nvm. Anyone who is going crazy over Dora coming is going crazy over the possibility that a Little Miss Perfect might be coming over since after over ten years of being America's Hottest Famly you still haven't figured out how to hide stuff from your team
Zeke: Shut the literal fuck up. You do not know how hard it is to find somewhere where they can't find me
Me: Umm, yea actually I do. I've been in the spotlight longer than u have brother. My dad was famous before PFTP and after u started your show I quickly became more liked than u Mr. Prissy Pink Pryxley. Dumbass
Zeke: Have you made their bedrooms yet
Me: Noo...
Zeke: Who was the Dumbass again? Oh right, you
Me: Not my fault. You got her room done
Zeke: Obviously
Me: STFU
Zeke: The crowd misses u. You need to get ur ass back here and spill on everything before my mother drags u to the house and steals ur free will
Me: She would actually do that, wouldn't she
Zeke: Obviously. She is the one who told me to tell you
Me: Tell me that she is going to take away my free will???
Zeke: No. Well she said that, but probably didn't want me to tell u
Me: Of course. I'll be over tomorrow hows that. In the meantime, tell me about Dora
Zeke: Why
Me: Bc I said so. My dad own over twelve of the 100 most successful businesses in the world
Zeke: And how is that relevant
Me: It's relevant bc I probably own ur house
Zeke: Fuck. U probably do
Me: Exactly, so tell me about Dora
He sends me the link to an article entitled:
Madilyne Dawson--The Dawson's Secret Daughter
It was posted literally two hours ago. I guess she really is the Dawsons secret daughter. I skim through it and here is what it said,
Her parents are famous explorers who are uncovering natures secrets (I think I have heard of them in class)
She wasn't known to man until four weeks ago (sad, her parents must really hate her)
Her parents are in a coma (details to come)
She has a boyfriend (I know, annoying right? I am persuasive though)
She lived in New York before having to move in with the Pryxleys
And that is what the world knows about almost sixteen-year-old Madilyne Dawson.
Me: I don't know why I wanted to know anything at all. I must be more bored than I thought
Zeke: My thoughts exactly
Me: I'm still bored. What do you remember about her
Zeke: Really
Me: Yes
Zeke: Last time I saw her she was ten and I was eleven, our parents always took us to the pool, i don't remember much just that after PFTP premiered i didn't see her bc she moved and i when she visited i hated her
Me: So what I'm getting is u were friends, she moved, u got famous and so u didn't like her anymore, correct?
Zeke: Sure
Me: ur an asshole
Zeke: ???
Me: You got famous so u unfriended her
Zeke: Like you wouldn't
Me: I'm shaking my head upon u, not the other way around
Zeke: Ur not denying
Me: ...
Zeke: Knew it
Me: Im done talking to u
I get off my phone and go downstairs to the kitchen. I'm meeting up with the boys at five, so until then, my plan is to eat, sleep, and phone. I am about to open the fridge when I see something. It's a note.
WARNING!!! IF YOU DO NOT READ THIS, WIFI GOES OFF FOR A WEEK
I roll my eyes before reading what Mother Dearest has to say.
Mia (Jerk #2)
I skip that.
Chase (Favorite #2),
Favorite?
Original Favorite,
That can't be me. And what's with the favorites?
Original Jerk,
Yup, that's definitely me. I wonder why though.
Me: Why "Original Jerk?"
Mom: Bc you have two clones, I didn't want you guys to get mixed up.
Me: Meaning...
Mom: You are Original Jerk, Mia is Jerk #2, and Lily is Jerk #3.
Me: If we're playing the name game, then technically ur Original Jerk
Mom: No, if we're playing the name game, your dad is Original Jerk.
Me: Yeah, sure. But why the favorites
Mom: Ethan is not as much of a jerk, and Chase is more of his clone than yours, and Chase is also my favorite. Or Jet, but I haven't decided yet.
Me: I will have to do something about that. We want as many Elecs as possible. And I thought parents weren't supposed to have favorites
Mom: So?
Me: Ur definitely Original Jerk
And with that, I get breakfast.
<>
I choose to read my rules only because I need wifi to breathe.
Original Jerk,
These are your rules.
1) Must be at the house at least half of the time
Not going to happen.
2) Help with chores. She is one girl taking care of twelve children, she will need help and so will the kids. More people=more mess
HA! As if.
3) No parties, smoking, drinking, sex, or illegal activity. I mean it, you will have thirteen people that don't need to be introduced to the shit you do anytime soon
Like that is ever going to happen. Parents aren't going to be home for over a month, and the babysitter is going to have too big of a crush on me to do anything about it.
4) Please limit the cursing, you have more children in the house I refuse to let you take away their pureness. Or hers
Ahhh, so we have a perfect child on our hands, do we? Let's see how long Miss Babysitter can keep her title
5) No inappropriate language or actions. At all. You never know who will pick up your bad habits and dirty mouth
Isn't having them picking up my habits and "dirty mouth" the whole point of having them around?
6) Help out with the children. Whether it's playing with them, feeding them, or putting them to bed, your siblings love you and we will also have eight more children in the house. it would be nice.
Yes, it would be nice. Which is exactly why I'm not doing it.
7) When you have the boys (AND ONLY THE BOYS!!!) over, keep everything appropriate, kind, and LEGAL
She does know that she is talking about The Five Deadly Fuckers, right? Yes, that is what we are known as.
8) Whatever you do, don't fuck Meghan's children up more than you have my own. Please! I am begging you!
Ahh, so Mother Dearest has finally begged for something. Too bad it's not possible.
9) Don't be mean to any of your siblings or the Darlings. If I hear anything, and I mean ANYTHING, about you being mean or rude or insensitive to ANYONE that is in this household, I swear to God I will hunt your ass down and feed you to the wolves
Definitely Original Jerk.
10) MOST IMPORTANT!!! If you so much as THINK about making the SLIGHTEST dent in her purity, I will make SURE you ROT in HELL. She is good, innocent, and overall perfect, so if you do anything to change that I will tear you apart. Piece by piece. Until you are screaming in pain and begging me to just hurry up and kill you. Understood? Good!
Love you, sweety. Have fun!
XOXO,
Mom
Goddamn, woman! Is she fucking psychopathic or something? She cares more about this babysitter than me. Her actual child! I hate her already. Whatever. I'll make sure that Miss Perfect won't ever want to see my face again.