Once upon a time there was little girl, she was happy but she just became a shell. Broken and bruised but it's not like anybody cared. She tried to be happy everytime but then the darkness always consumed her during the night.
The girl was always against self-harming. She told herself if she ever had any problems, she would talk about them first. Let's go back in time when she did her first cut. The girl was about 15 years old at that timeand so far the year sucked. It was one day when she finally him rock bottom. 'He' had said something to make her feel upset, usually she doesn't let 'his' words bother her but that particular day she wasn't strong enough. She went up to her room with tears blurring her eyes, she opened her pencil case and took her ruler out.
Some people might think why a ruler? Well she took the ruler because it was easier. A much sharper object would just make a bloody mess and she didn't want that. So back to the story about the girl. There she was holding the ruler in her hands, battling with the devil and angel on her shoulder. But that day the devil won as she dragged the ruler across her wrist. She made sure she didn't cut at the sensitive areas as she only wanted numbness not death.
At the first cut it stung a little but didn't care. The girl didn't stop till she felt like all her pain was gone. Then she realised what she did and cried. She thought to herself "it wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't meant to go this far". After crying for a few more minutes, she somehow felt like she didn't regret doing that. She looked down at her wrist where red, angry lines stared back at her and ran a finger gently across those lines.
The girl felt lighter, like perhaps the cutting/harming herself made all the problems disappear. She also made a promise to herself that this was just a one time thing and she would never do it again. But then life doesn't work out like the way you want it to. She soon became like an addict, she craved for numbness and she'll only get so by harming herself. So that's what she did, she broke her own promise and picked up her ruler again.
Soon her addiction grew, she started cutting even more but now only in hidden places like her thighs or somewhere near her inner arm. To me I think she was great at hiding all this cause no one suspected a thing for almost a year. She knew she had to stop but it felt so good. All while doing this the girl questioned "Why me, why now, why can't I be happy like everyone around me?
The End
Love,
C🦋