Rayna's POV
"Rayna, honey, time to get up and get ready for school," Sarah said as she opened my bedroom door.
"I'm up, mom. William has been up for two hours. He has eaten and is now getting sleepy." I say.
She smiles at me as I chew on my nails. I start a new school today; it is the first day of my senior year. I only need to take the physical education class for the first term as I couldn't do it over the summer because of my pregnancy, and then I am done. So, after two hours of class, I go home. But I am freaking out; I have not been around people my age, let alone boys other than my son and daddy Ryan, since I left Idaho. I am scared.
How do I allow myself to be around males? I don't see myself trusting any male for a long time. Every time I see a guy my age, I have flashbacks to what happened to me. I have had things done to me, which have frightened and scarred my view of the opposite sex. I don't know if I could ever truly trust men again. "How in the heck will do this," I thought to myself.
"Honey, let me take Will for you. That way, you can take a shower, eat, and head off to school. Will and I will be fine until you come home." Sarah rambles.
"Are you sure you are fine with him? Oh, I know you are. I am just nervous. My life sucked in school and got worse at home. I just don't want to be harassed by the other students. And I am terrified of running into the guys. I always made friends easily. Keeping them is what was hard. Whenever I made friends, Cain and Joan would make it where I would lose them just as fast. So, the friend thing is also scaring me. The friend thing is freaking me out," I tell her.
"I understand that, but not all guys are forceful. Some treat women with respect. You don't have to be friends with boys. Girls will love the fact that you have your head on straight, plus you are mature. Just be yourself, and they will love you," She says.
"Okay, what do I wear today? I was thinking maybe my boot cut jeans and a t-shirt, with my combat boots," I say.
. "Sounds good, now hop in the shower and come down when you're finished getting ready." She replied.
I take my shower, brush my teeth, put my deodorant on, and pull my long dirty blonde hair in a ponytail, put eyeliner on to make my bright green eyes pop out a little. Then I get dressed in a pair of boot-cut jeans and a pink tank top. With a white button-up dress shirt over it and placing a kiss on William's forehead, "Mommy loves you, little man. I will see you when I get home from school." I whisper. I go down to the kitchen to grab a pop tart. I went out the door. I jump in my car and drive the 1fifteen minutes to school.
Pulling into the parking lot, I look around me. I noticed that there are kids in groups. It seems there isn't much difference between a small town or a big city; there are still kids that hover around the popular juveniles. I take a big deep breath, giving myself a pep talk before climbing out of my car and heading inside.
I walk to the office, the receptionist asks, "How may I help you?"
"I am new here; I have to take physical education. Can you please tell me where the gymnasium is?"
She scowls at me, "I am sure you can find a student that can help with that." I nod my head.
I turn around and walk out the door, thinking to myself, "Though the receptionist job was supposed to be helpful, guess not, what a snob."
As I walked down the hall, a guy with black hair and brown eyes ran up to me. "You're new here, right? I'm Conner Fisher. Where you move here from." I stiffen up and step away from him a little, deciding to answer his question with a brief answer.
"I'm Rayna Beckerman. I moved here from Idaho," I stutter, moving away from him.
"What classes do you have?" He asked me.
"P. E,"
"Okay, what other classes,"
"None, I finished them over the summer," I say.
"Hmm, I will walk with you to the gymnasium," he says. I nod and continue walking. He looks at me. "How come you only have P. E?" He inquired.
"If you listened, you would have heard me; I told you I did the rest of them already," I say.
He just chuckles, "Yeah, I heard you; I just like how your voice sounds. It's like music to my ears." He adds.
Once we walk into the gym, I notice a group of girls watching me. I ignore them and walk up to the Coach. "Can I have a word with you real quick?" I asked him.
He looks at me, "Sure, what can I do for you, miss??" He says.
"My name is Rayna Beckerman. I gave birth a month ago. I need to limit my activity for the next couple of weeks. Here is a note from my doctor." I say.
He takes the note, reads it, then says, "Ms. Beckerman, just walk around the gym three or four times while we're doing our warm-up. Please have a seat while we get started." then he turns to the class, "Okay, class, you all know I am Coach Kelley. Welcome back to school. I hope you had a glorious summer. We have a new student, Rayna. Please introduce yourself to the class,"
I stand up on shaky legs. "I'm Rayna Beckerman. I am 17. I am a senior and a mother of a one-month-old boy named William Michael Beckerman." I say, then set down.
A girl says, "So, you are the new slut of the school, huh."
Coach yells, "Allison, watch your mouth, you don't talk to people like that," She stared at me. I dismissed her actions and words. I don't have the time for her childish ways.
Since it was the first day of class, we just sat around and chatted. A few people came to introduce themselves to me. A girl with red hair came over, "Hi, Rayna, I am Emma. I also have a child who will be one. A friend of my fathers raped me. My baby is a cutie. Her name is Jayden." Emma tells me.
I smile at her. "Wow, do you have a picture of your daughter?" I ask.
"I sure do. Jayden likes to pose for the camera. My mom and dad pressed charges against his friend when they found out about it. Then we sued him to take his rights as a father away," She informs me. We talked a little, then she asked, "What class do you have after this?"
"I don't have anymore. I was on bedrest all summer, so I did all my classes online. I just couldn't take gym class because of being pregnant. So, here I am. Here is a picture of my son. He is my light. I hope we can hang out sometime," I say.
"Well, I am done at lunch. So, what do you say we meet up and get to know each other?" She asks me.
I was a little uncomfortable since it was so soon, but said, "Sure, can you come by the Cadbury Bed and Breakfast when school is over? I am still recovering from the delivery and William needs to eat around that time," I say.
She smiles at me, "So, you and your family are staying there?" She asked me.
I tell her I will explain everything when I am more comfortable with her. She tells me she could understand that. Then the bell rings. "See you later, Emma. I need to get back to feed Will," I say.
"I will be over after I finish here. I will need to pick up Jayden before I come over. Is that all right?" I told her it was fine. Then I went to my car and headed home.
Once home, I find Will and Sarah in the kitchen. Sarah has already begun cooking lunch. "So, how was the class?" she asked me.
I explained everything that happens. I told Sarah that Emma would come over with her daughter Jayden. "Rayna, it sounds like you two are alike. Did you tell her how you ended up with a child?"
I shake my head, no. "I'm not ready to yet. I don't want to tell her if I can't trust her. I still feel dirty just thinking about it, so telling a person I go to school with just seems weird," I say.
"Okay, so go feed Willy, and I will finish lunch. You need to relax; you're still recovering," she says.
I still had questions, so I asked, "Momma, when do I tell her about Joan and Cain, and even Beau. I don't want to think about it, but I need to tell her if we become friends."
She exhales. "Honey, do it whenever you are ready. You are the only one who will know when you are ready," She replies.
I picked Will up, then went to my room, fed him, and changed his diaper. As we were coming down the stairs, someone knocked on the door. Thinking it was Emma. I opened the door only to come face to face with Beau, my poor excuse of a brother.
Looking at him pissed me off but also scared me. I pulled William closer to my body and I started shaking. "What in the hell are you doing here? Didn't you hear me say that I would call the police on you all if you came looking for me?" I yelled just as Sarah came to the door.
"Who is this, Rayna?" Sarah asks.
I didn't know what to call him. He wasn't my brother anymore, so I settled with, "This is Joan and Cain's son Beau." I say. He looks pissed.
"I am her brother, Beau. I am here to take her home." He said.
I hand the baby to Sarah then look at him. "You are no brother of mine. A big brother protects his baby sister. They may fight, but he is there for her, always. My place is right here where I am, not with you and your parents. I will never go back there." I say.
"Yes, you are, you little bitch," Beau yells at me while he reaches for me, grabbing my arm.
Just then, Ryan walks in. "Get your fucking paws off of her," Beau removes his hands. "Sorry to burst that bubble you live in, but her being emancipated means she doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do. Rayna makes her own decisions and follows only her rules. She said she isn't going with you. Now you get out of my house and don't come back." He says in a deep, menacing tone that leaves no room for questions.
Beau looks at me and says, "That bastard of yours is also Travis's child. Travis has as much of a right to be in its life as you do. I will be back; this isn't over yet." Then he walks out the door.
I slam the door shut, turn, and look at Ryan, still shaking, "How in the heck did he find me? That prick just threatened me. He scares the heck out of me." I say, shivering. "Dad, when we had the judge emancipate me, did he also take Travis's rights away? If not, can we have that done?" I asked.
"No, honey, we didn't, but I will call and talk to Dane and find out what we can do about this." He said while walking toward his office.
"Sarah, what am I going to do? I don't want to see any of them again; I can't take it." I whimper.
Just as Sarah was about to reply, Emma knocks on the door. I open it and have her come in. She has Jayden with her. "Emma, this is momma Sarah and my son William. Momma, Emma, and her little girl Jayden." I say.
"Nice to meet you, Sarah," Emma says.
"Likewise, Emma," says Sarah. Then she offered to take the kids so we could talk. As I pecked William's head, I couldn't take my mind from Beau. The way he has started the verbal abuse so soon after not seeing me for months. He didn't even ask how I was or ask how my child was. He just started with the verbal assault. It only confirms to me I made the right choice in leaving and staying away. That was for sure.
"Are you all right, Ray? You seem off?" Emma asked.
"Yeah, I just had a visitor that scared me," I say, then I continue. "Growing up, my family was abusive. My dad hit me; my mom and brother were verbally and mentally abusive and treated me like a slave. My so-called brother came to get me today, to go back with him. But I was emancipated from my parents when I was about three or four months pregnant. So, he nor any of them can't force me to return," I tell her.
She nods, "There is something you're not telling me, but I understand. For a person treated the way you were, you seem to be one of the strongest people I know." She says.
"Thanks, Emma. Let's eat lunch and watch some movies," I announced as the compliment made me uncomfortable.
We talked and watched movies for a few hours. I found out that Emma lives with her parents; she has two sisters and a brother. Her mother watches Jayden while she goes to school. And her sister watches her when she works. Her family is incredibly supportive of her. I was glad because I wouldn't wish my situation on anyone, not even my worst enemy.
I have told her about my life, the good and some bad. Hopefully, she and I will become best friends. I have never had a friend that I could hang out with whenever I want. Hopefully, we can hang out some more. It feels good to connect to a person my age and have so much in common with them. Maybe soon, I will be comfortable enough with and around her to tell her about the rape.