I am paralyzed by the sight of blood, but what? I'm worried about seeing blood, so I leave the bedroom as quickly as I can since the pain has increased. I try to go down the stairs. I'm less than halfway there, but I feel a pain that doesn't allow me to continue. I scream as I feel it increase.
The first thing I feel are Carlos's arms trying to help me walk or so I think, the truth is I'm not sure. I see how my mother has a horrified face and it is because there is blood dripping between her legs. She comes closer to say something that I don't hear. In the distance I hear my little sisters crying talking to our mother. They come closer and hug my mother's legs. . My mother tells them something that I don't understand, but I think it's that they should stay in the car or something like that. We get to the garage and they help me get into the truck in the passenger seat. I see that Carlos just nods to what my mom says and without wasting any more time he gets into the truck. My dad gets in the driver's seat and turns it on. the truck, my mother runs back to the house, I watch as she hugs and comforts my sisters from the door.
- Calm down little one, remember the breathing lessons you took, hee hee hee. She – she starts breathing with me, I try and the truth is it doesn't help much or at least it doesn't for me, I hold on to wherever I can to try to think.
- They already told my aunt Carla. – I take a deep breath and try to release it slowly. - and tell him we're on our way to the hospital. – I feel another contraction which makes me try to breathe more slowly, the hospital is 20 minutes away, I turn to the street hoping to find something that will serve as a distraction, I see a man selling tamales, another chasing a dog that is bringing a piece of meat, which at another time would make me laugh, but at this moment I just hope that the dog can get rid of the man to eat his meat in peace.
God, I won't get pregnant again, let Aaron not even think that I will have another baby, this will be an only child, there is pain (the truth is I have never been very tolerant of pain) so when I get to the hospital I choose an epidural (if I am very crybaby) How is it? that women put up with this? My respects, the truth is that God bless all those women who can have a natural birth.
- Don't worry Lina, everything will be fine. - That? That? Everything will be fine, men!
- No. - I scream when I feel another contraction. – Don't say I'm calm, if you were in my place you wouldn't be calm either.
- Okay, let's keep breathing. – I nod and squeeze his hand when I feel another contraction, I see his pained face when I feel that he almost broke his hand (or so I hope, I don't want to fracture it).
I see the gazebo with a fountain at the hospital where my aunt works, thank God we finally arrived, my dad stops at the door where my aunt is already there with a wheelchair and a nurse, who upon seeing us turns away. They get to the truck, a quite nervous Carlos answers my aunt's questions, we enter the hospital, they take us for an examination to find out how they will proceed (I just pray to God that everything goes well) they help me get on the stretcher, they A doctor who I have seen before is a "friend" of my aunt and the truth is I don't blame her, he is handsome, he has an athletic complexion, he has dark brown eyes, I see how he says something but I don't understand anything (since another contraction occurred). is present) I take a deep breath trying to relax (if possible) another deep breath "inhale and exhale".
- How long has it been like this? – he asks into the air, I listen to how my brother explains everything to the nurse, the nurse explains everything to the doctor, my aunt is behind the doctor's back looking at her cell phone, but I know that she is listening to everything (however, her expression does not changes) How will you not reflect any emotion?
I see the nurse nod and leave to only God knows where, the doctor signals to the nurse who apologizes to my brother and goes, my aunt approaches me and encourages me, I see the doctor putting on her gloves, she comes closer to tell me something, but to be honest I don't hear anything I just feel pain.
I feel as he inserts his fingers a small scream (or that's what I want to believe, but I know it's not true) I want to cry (when another contraction approaches) so I do I let out a few tears I take a deep breath to try to relax, but it doesn't work When the doctor finishes, he takes off his gloves and comes straight towards me.
- Lina… - leaves a space that I don't like at all. – You have high blood pressure and glucose, we will do an emergency cesarean section. The baby has heart problems, it's just for the nurses to prepare you, see you in the operating room – I just nod to everything he says, he says goodbye before leaving Leave instructions, the nurses prepare me.
Aunt, do you know anything about Aaron? – She is about to speak when Carlos arrives.
- Aunt, my mom wants to talk to you. She - only she nods and without further ado she leaves the room.
- Carlos What's happening? Please tell me, what is happening? - Why doesn't anyone answer my questions?
- Linlin Aaron's cell phone goes straight to voicemail, he doesn't answer. - That? I can't believe that I am alone in the hospital almost about to enter the operating room and my husband is not with me, at this moment is when I realize how terrified I am, just imagining that he will not hold my hand, will not see my baby born. our daughter but I'm thinking maybe her cell phone went dead and that's why she's not answering, if that must be it.
-No, don't say anything else, he will come alone, his cell phone was discharged, he will come, I know it, he would never leave me in this situation. -He sees me with pity. – Don't look at me like that, don't do it.
- How do I see you? – He asks it, acting stupid. –Linlin I…
- As if you felt sorry, you shouldn't feel sorry for me. – When I say the last thing, my voice breaks, I try to keep my tears back. – Just do me a favor, find my husband please and tell him I'm in the hospital.
- Yes, just let my dad come so he can stay with you. - seat. My mom comes in along with my in-laws and my dad.
- Lina dear, how surprised we were to hear that you are in labor. – My mother-in-law hugs me and kisses my forehead.
- My girl. – My mother comforts me as only a mother knows how to do. – Don't worry about anything sweetheart, first God everything will be fine, our Blessed Mother will take care of you now and always.
- Thank you mom, I love you very much. – I feel another contraction, I take a deep breath and release it slowly. The nurses come in saying it's time to go.
- Me more heart. – He gives me his blessing and without further ado we go to the operating room, only God knows what will happen, I only ask that everything is fine, that my baby is fine.
We get to the operating table, the anesthesiologist tells me several jokes (which are very bad) I appreciate his intention to relax me, they give me the epidural (this position is not comfortable) I hear them tell me if I can slouch more, but how do you do it when you have a belly like mine, they put me in position to start once it took effect. The anesthesiologist shows me a photo of his vacation trip in the Bahamas, other jokes in which the only one to laugh is him, the doctor tells me that they need to do one last tug and the baby comes out, I feel two more tugs and hear the baby crying. my girl.
-Congratulations, Lina, her baby is fine, she has very strong lungs. – I smile, happy that I will finally have her in my arms. They show her to me and I can see that she is fine. – The nurse will take her away when she is clean.
- Thank you Doctor. – I feel more relaxed, the nurses are very kind, they try to make me feel good at all times and they are respectful at all times. My aunt Carla comes in to see me saying how lovely my daughter is, she tells me how happy my parents and in-laws are, they take me to the room to recover, be surrounded by my family, when I enter Marijo shows me photos and videos of me baby, she is beautiful and I would even say smiling.
- Lina is beautiful. – Carlos informs with a big smile. – I would like to eat her with kisses.
-Do you know anything about Aaron? – I ask as the nurses enter with a crib in which you can see a pink blanket and I know that my baby is there. My brother along with Marijo consider the question I asked forgotten. - Can I charge it?
- Clear. – The nurse hands it to me carefully and informs me that they will tell me how I will breastfeed.
Everyone except my mother and mother-in-law leaves the room informing them that they are going to eat something since they had no appetite due to their worry. I see how my baby takes the breast as soon as she smells it, she eats as if it were the last thing she does, poor baby she was hungry, I see how she sucks desperately, which tells me that she is a glutton.
- Mommy, pass me my cell phone please. – I see how she tries to deny. – Please I need to call you.
- My love, they are already looking for it, there is no need for you to worry, much less because you are breastfeeding.
- Daughter, don't worry, they're already looking for him. – says my dad. My father-in-law would barely say anything when his cell phone rings, he leaves the room without further ado.
- Please give me my cell phone, just a call. – My mother-in-law takes the cell phone and gives it to me. I call her as soon as I have the cell phone in my hand, she keeps sending it to voicemail, oh my God, take care of my husband since only you know where he is. – She still doesn't answer, oh, my goodness. – I have to relax, it's for my baby, it's not just me anymore, I have to be strong for my baby.
An hour passes and I still haven't heard anything from Aaron, the doctor came fifteen minutes ago to make sure everything went well, to see the state of the wound – something that a nurse or an intern could have done, but since the doctor is interested in my aunt and he wants me to choose him well – thank God he is fine and so is my baby so there is no problem, he told me that tomorrow they will discharge us if there are no changes.
- Carlos Where is Carlos? – My mother denies, my mother-in-law is talking on the phone from what I can see she is arguing with someone. – and Aaron Where is Aaron?