Holding two large shiny ores on either hand, I stand still, afraid that I might drop and tarnish the expensive things, but internally, I am a squirming wriggling pool of nervousness.
"Are those the materials Amisha reserved for you?"
I nod stiffly at Nehal.
"Not bad", she says as she inspects them, one hand adjusting her glasses as she leans close to look at them.
We walk together towards the hall where my coming of age ceremony is going to be held. The echoes of our footsteps makes it feel as if there are a hundred people inside. Having this thought circulate my head made my nervousness ridiculously grow through bounds and leaps. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but let my mind stray on scenarios that could happen on my coming of age ceremony. More than anything, this ceremony feels like a branding of a 'Lumean'.
In the middle of the room, I am instructed to kneel at the center of a wide circular formation, as the other members stepped unto thirteen equal points from where I knelt.
For every human-kind, I know that there is always a different type of ceremony for those who reach adulthood. I used to anticipate my own coming of age. Father had told great stories about obtaining the blessing of the shadows.
Now that I think of it, I used to be afraid that I might not be able to get the blessing of the shadows as I was not fully a Wraith. But now that I am here, I'm just as unsure if I am worthy enough to gain the blessing of Inferis' heralded protector.
My grip on the rough unprocessed stones gets tighter. I couldn't stop gripping even when a few sharp edges dig deeper into my skin, a few more squeezes short of breaking skin.
"Alright then, let's get started", Amos says.
At his urging, I secretly take a deep breath in, and then breath it out. Obrecht glances at me as he notices me doing so. I calm down immensely as he smiles calmly. It's reassuring to have someone who has already gone through this once before with you.
"I'll have to trouble you to stand there, Videre", Amos says to me, pointing to a certain location in the formation.
"Well aren't you excited", Kali teases Amos in a not so teasing, but more to annoy kind of manner.
Amos just stares at her across from where he is standing. He clicks his tongue and then looks away as if he something disdainfully not worth looking at. The veins on Kali's forehead begins to throb.
Clenching her fist at Amos, she swears lowly to herself, "I'll definitely have him join the annual tournaments this year so I can beat the crap out of him! He definitely has to join this year!" She huffs as she took her place as well, opposite Amos.
I watch other people banter and converse until all of a sudden, the atmosphere changes without a word, and the silence devours every sound in the hall. Like a wordless confirmation, they all start chanting at the same time. Halvalt had taken his place on one point of the seal as well. He looked much more serious than he usually did; like how he did the first time I met him after I woke up from my post-fever five-day slumber.
Half-way through the start of the chant, the weight of the stones on my hand increases. A hand covers the top of each stone. I trace the blue sketches of Odeti and Obrecht's arms as they stand side by side in front of me. They smile kindly. I couldn't help but feel reassured at the thought that there are now people who will worry for me, and care for me; people who I want to live and laugh with.
An elapsing voice reaches my ear. The memory of Tukare whispering 'live' to me, makes my heart beat louder. I hear their chant about to end, but in my heart, I am no longer nervous. In place of this, all that consumed my heart is the simple wish to live and be happy here. A simple life. It's enough. For the first time, I allow myself to anticipate the future more.
"May your happiness and safety never be compromised, your heart and mind forever peaceful and steadfast", Odeti says as her other hand reaches to caress the cheek of my mask. "May you find what you seek, and be sought by what you most need. May Aovialutre bless you with love and health so that you may lead a life full of contentedness and gratitude", Odeti adds, as if the words were very familiar to her, like she had already said them before but to another person.
A hand pats my head softly until it slides to land on my shoulder, the fingers sneakily grazing my neck behind the black fur that hid my hair.
"May the blade in your heart never stutter, nor become dull. May you become stronger in each fight and never doubt your worth, your progress, and your decisions. May God and Aovialutre guide love, and peace into your life, so you may be blessed to live in joy and content in this life", Obrecht says in turn. If only I had known at that time that he included two words at the end of that sentence in his mind: with, and me.
Obrecht sounds so serious, looking very mature as he says his wishes, yet I don't think he notices it. In the back of my heart, a nagging feeling tells me that he isn't just saying it to the gods or the protector, or to anyone else, but me. Unconsciously, I stare back at him.
It isn't until a blue sheen on the stones caught my eye, that I look away to glance at the stones we both held together.
There wasn't much time for me to feel embarrassed by having everyone watch me ogling Obrecht, nor comprehend the mysterious pain that caused my unique vision to crumple.
The white sketch of the stone shone in a mix of white and blue, effectively invading even my mind's eye. It is so bright that the silent black canvass of my vision felt blinded. It is hard to stare, as it is just as hard to look away from it. Slowly, it gained luminosity until my eyes are blinded, and my head left with a pounding headache over the static noise that filled my ears.
When the light had receded, everything and everyone disappeared.
Or perhaps, it was simply me that disappeared and left the hall.
Similar to the moment when you��re to wake, and you are pulled out of a sweet heart-warming dream, I am sucked away from the hall. As if the hall that contained Obrecht and everyone was a still picture that I zoomed out off. As if a forceful hand had taken the scruff of my neck and I am a paralyzed kitten that cannot fight back.
The picture of Obrecht's face grows smaller and smaller, and a sense of panic and dread like I have never experience floods me. Everything else was white, and slowly, everyone's faces along with Obrecht's got swallowed up by that blinding whiteness.
All of a sudden, my ears pick up a faint sounding—Splash!
And all that whiteness had turned to a blue hue. At some point, I seem to have lost my mask. Still being sucked downwards, the memory of drowning had risen up inside me and the traumatic feeling urges me to struggle, yet not one limb can move.
Like a petrified living statue, I sink deeper into what seems to be a vast body of water, yet it gets darker and darker the deeper, and lower I sink. No light seems to be able to penetrate in this deep abysmal silent water. It reminded me greatly of the dreary, dark and damp dungeons.
I can't breathe…
Just when I thought my back should've reached the bottom, everything feels like they have rotated one hundred eighty degrees—like everything had reversed and what was up was now down. A sort of vertigo threatened to emerge in my disoriented head.
It felt as if I started falling the moment I reached the bottom, but when I open my eyes, I see the peaceful lake reflecting my face as I 'fall' upwards into the sky.
Upon that realization, I suddenly stop midair and fall back in a splash.
Where am I? What happened?
I turn around as the feeling of being able to move my limbs had thankfully returned. Struggling, I grab a boulder at the edge of the lake and cough a few mouthful of waters out. I survey my surroundings, trying to distinguish the place I had come to.