The Strange Ghostly Tale Of Slippery Jake,
The Regency Rake
Prologue: A Strange Ghostly Tale Of Slippery Jake The Regency Rake
This is a story based in a fictional public house, a pub, The Bull. The Bull Public House can be found at a crossroads leading into S W London. As the tale unfolds, it is discovered that there has been a drinking establishment on this site for centuries. It remains a popular pub. Plus it has a first-class reputation for serving excellent 'real ale', draught beer, along with a range of superb food. There is also a variety of good musical entertainment. It was also a haunted public house. There is a poltergeist!
Much of the story takes place in the Bull Public House, if not totally in the Lounge Bar.
I will start by introducing the principal character, Slippery Jake. The most important character will be the 'resident ghost', 'The Right Hon Jake Horatio, Higginbottom', or 'Slippery Jake' as he was often called. He was a notorious highwayman. Slippery Jake lived in the Regency period of British history. That is 1790 to 1820.
His character may appear to be pretty 'bipolar'. Some accounts relate to how ruthless he was in life. He would hold up stagecoaches and spare no one. Dispatching everyone with a rapier sword, or a brace of pistols. On the other hand, he had a reputation for being very gallant. He was especially courteous to young ladies. Everybody was spared after he attacked a stagecoach. He also frequented the Bull Inn, as it was called then. It was known to be a bit of a 'bawdy house', a place of 'ill repute'. Old Slippery would generously spend his 'ill-gotten gains' on the ladies that frequented the Bull. Of course, having run out of money, he would be out again holding up stagecoaches.
He was a Rake. They are usually associated with the Restoration in the17th century. However, it could readily be applied to Slippery Jake. He was very much into womanizing along with some gambling and general debauchery. He was a libertine and a hedonist.
There is a transformation throughout the story, as the ghost seems to mellow and come to grips with the new realities of the 21st century.
Two 'ghost recorders', Kevin and Sandra, record his many appearances at the Bull, using their special equipment. The ramifications of these recordings are to have some pretty profound consequences.
Several other characters are central to this story. I am Paul Smith the narrator. I work part-time in a girl's high school as an art and art history teacher, along with some technology. I also have an interest in house restoration and property development. My wife, Isabella, originally from the Philippines, is a gynecologist in a local hospital. Sid and Beryl are the landlord and landlady of the Bull. There are two Eastern European barmaids, Lina from Estonia, Magda from Poland, along with Sven from Sweden. Regulars in the pub include two retired servicemen, Humphrey and Percy. Both were Majors and had seen service in Afghanistan. Agatha, and Margaret, were their respective wives. Detective Chief Inspector John Higgins is also a regular along with his two 'trainee' detectives, John Franks and William Russel. There will be several other characters that will make their appearance as the story unfolds.
Let us not forget the two 'pub' cats; Marigold and Percival. They would spend all day searching out the most comfortable spot in the pub. As the days grew colder they would seek out a radiator, or a spot. closer to the open log fire, a central feature of the Lounge Bar. There is also Beryl's beloved all white 'Wee Jock'. This is her beloved White Highland Terrier. He was a snappy little dog. Beryl keeps him mainly upstairs away from the two cats.
Chapter One: Introduction
It was one of those cold Autumn afternoons with an accompanying persistent drizzle that was oh so typical of South West London in mid-October. I had just finished school and drove my old car into the Bull Public House car park. Yes, my old car was on its last legs. I called it Samantha. It had something like 70,000 miles around 126,000 kilometers, on the clock. A 'bog standard' Ford Escort, but none the less, it had been very reliable over the years. Gerump. bang shudder, the engine noises had grown louder of late. I was lining up a 'nice' housing deal, which should give me enough for a new motor. I would be sad to see the 'old lady' go though to that great recycling heaven, maybe in the sky, but really to the car dump just down the road.
I generally visited the Bull on a Friday afternoon after school. My school was a girl's high school, an academy. Overall the girls were excellent and there were few 'issues' of the kind you might find in other inner London schools. However, I did get a kind of 'class from hell', Year 9, Third Year girls, bursting with 'full-on' adolescent emotions. I adopted a 'Geoffrey Boycott' defense. That very dour Yorkshire cricketer who was famous for his defensive play. It was tiring though. Yes, a pint and a half of the Bull's real ale would do nicely. This is just below the limit for drink driving. My 'binge drinking' days had long gone. That English 'tradition' of drinking as much as possible as quickly as possible. It would be just enough to calm me down. Exercise would be better of course. Then a hot bath when I came home and get a meal ready for Isabella my wife.
I went through the back door of the Bull. Beryl the landlady was behind the bar. Sid was downstairs changing over a beer barrel. Lina was there too, serving drinks. The cats were happily sitting under a radiator.
Percy and Humphrey were also there. Their good wives, respectively Agatha, and Margaret, were at some 'Women's Institute' do. They kept alive their marriages by keeping a degree of discreet distance. Both these gentlemen had married children who were doing very well and were both now grandfathers. They spoilt their grandchildren rotten. They both wore casual but smart clothes. This could include a good pair of dark trousers, sometimes a blazer or jacket. More often than not they loved a full woolen pullover plus sensible shoes. Both were non-smokers, but they enjoyed the fine real ales that the Bull offered.
"Ah young Paul, come and join us", Percy called out. Beryl had already poured out a pint. I paid for this and sat down on one of those full leather-bound chairs, that was a feature of the Lounge Bar. The furniture in the Lounge was better than you would find in most homes. All bound in a deep red leather. All the chairs and sofas were made from hardwood. There was oak paneling around the walls and on the floor. Beryl kept her staff busily polishing all this up, when the pub was closed.
"So, how were the young ladies?" Percy asked. "The usual," I replied, with a slight laugh. "They had a drawing exercise to do. Of course, everything ended up being coloured in pink. I didn't have the energy to argue with them. They all seemed happy."
"Ah, a fine Geoffrey Boycott defense!" Percy added.
"Exactly, Percy, I know all their tricks. Been in this teaching game long enough."
"So no surprise spin bowling, or a googly?!", came Humphrey's reply.
"Nothing. It is the Autumn term, it's wet. I want to go home and they want to go home. Well, I want to come here first."
I made a slight chuckle with this.
The Lounge Bar had only us present at this time. The pub would fill up quickly from 6 onwards. A popular DJ was booked for the Entertainment Bar. The Public Bar in the middle was being made ready. The pub would be 'heaving' by 9 pm. I would be long gone by then.
Beryl got her girls busy by polishing up and cleaning all the paneling and tables etc. Lina, nearby, was working hard polishing a table. She had to bend right over to do this. This had not escaped the notice of Humphrey and Percy.
"Ah, this is the real reason you like coming along now gentlemen?"
I asked both the two retired Majors. "A chance to inspect the new barmaids?"
Lina had a tight pair of jeans on. Both of the 'senior' gentlemen seemed to be admiring her rump, in a typically discreet upper-class English manner.
"There are certainly some very fine new fillies now at the Bull."
"Maybe it is better that we stayed in the EU?", commented Percy.
They both knew that their two good wives were very keen members of a local gym. One of the instructors was a very fine, 'well buff and well fit', hunky South African, as the schoolgirls would say with an amazing 'six-pack'. The ladies seemed to do nothing but spend all day talking about him. So, all in all, everything balanced out very nicely.
Chapter Two: Old Slippery Returns
There was something of real interest, situated on the right outside wall. That was a Regency Chair. This was made using mahogany with rosewood veneers, along with a very rich dark brown leather upholstery The chair was roped off with a red chord. These were attached by two large rings to a stately pair of bronze stands. The chair was further up from the old open fire, close to the bar and directly opposite our comfy chairs in the Lounge Bar.
Why the fuss? This fuss is because this chair was used by 'The Right Hon Jake Horatio Higginbottom', or 'Slippery Jake'. The resident ghost of the Bull Public House.
He had been 'dormant' for several years. People were now noticing slight rattles and a cold breeze every time anyone approached his chair. The poltergeist was active again! Old Slippery had been a renowned highwayman during the early 19th century. He eventually ended up being hung on the crossroads opposite the Bull Inn as it was then. There was a pub called the Old Hangman, across the road from the Bull which had closed down several years ago. A hanging at the crossroads had been a spectacle in many cultures. You only have to think of the classic blues by Robert Johnson, Cross Road Blues, as an example of this. The crossroads was the ideal place. Many people had to pass through it.
An example had to be made of Old Slippery. There had been too many killings. After the order "Stand and deliver", the highwayman would often let rip with his brace of pistols. He would quite often finish everyone else off with his rapier. No quarter was given. This often applied to ladies as well who were sometimes violently assaulted.
Old Slippery's preferred sword was the rapier. This was a stabbing sword used in duels with a long thin blade. However, Old Slippery made sure the blade was as sharp as a cut-throat razor along its whole length. He mostly specialized in a direct thrust to the heart which was highly effective owning to his speed with the sword. He sometimes went in for cutting and slashing. So he wanted maximum versatility which he achieved in his lifetime.
Again, there was this dilemma, who was the real Old Slippery? As I have stated several accounts have survived that directly contradicted these stories of the ruthless highwayman, who at times could be fairly sadistic. The highwayman was very gallant and courteous towards ladies and other passengers. The stagecoach riders were let free after being disarmed. Of course, everyone was robbed of money, gold, jewelry, and any other valuable belongings.
These discrepancies may be down to the advent of the 'Victorian Period' in 1837. There could have been a need for this more salacious account of Old Slippery's life to be downplayed. This did not fit the so-called 'Victorian morality' that was starting to evolve.
Another strong theme in the highway man's life had been his liking of the ladies. The advent of the young Baltic barmaids in the Bull, may be causing this current 'awakening'?
Yes, the Bull Inn or Tavern as it was then, in the early 19th century, had a reputation as a 'bawdy house', a 'place of ill repute'. All kinds of 'low life', pickpockets, tricksters, thieves, and highwaymen, hung out there. Ladies, of a certain profession, were also present. The Bull Inn had pretty well become Old Slippery's base.
Which brings me back to the present. The presence of these young ladies may have dragged him back from whichever recess of Hell he had been residing. The rattles seem to coincide whenever Lina, Magda, and yes Sven, approached or cleaned and polished his 'chair'.
Beryl and Sid had noticed this. "Aye, Old Slippery is back!" commented Beryl in her distinctive Scottish Glaswegian accent, a specific Scottish brogue. She came from Port Glasgow. This had a reputation for being a very rough area. She was a good Catholic girl, who fell in love with Sid. They were then both 'Rockers'. She wore full skirts and he had full Teddy Boy drapes and a quiff. She was the daughter of a landlord of a Port Glasgow pub, so she would take no-nonsense. Beryl thought that the 'sassenachs', the English, are a pretty soft bunch on the whole. Sid came from a long line of landlords that had run the Bull Public House over many years.
"Aye, it's the lasses that brings him back."
The 'rattles' consisted of the floors and walls being shaken. There had been actual sightings of the ghost over the years. His chair was there for him to sit on. He would be fully decked out in his full Regency regalia. He had appeared from time to time and had roamed around the pub, seemingly aware possibly of what was happening. The haunting was starting again.
Both Sid and Beryl thought that he was about to come back. The barmaids were understandably terrified. They got on with the duties around the chair as quickly as possible. They all felt that there was somebody there. Marigold and Percival knew full well something was up. They had taken to sleeping in 'Old Slippery's' chair. They now both jumped off this pretty quickly. Cats have very developed senses. They were both very worried and slinked off to a safe spot under a radiator.
I sat back and looked at the chair in detail. The craftwork was exceptional, as was the design. This chair was also very valuable. It was Old Slippery's chair and this was how it would remain.
Maybe it was my imagination playing tricks on me, but I thought I saw the outline of Old Slippery starting to appear on the chair. There was a crooked three-cornered hat. It seemed to have rich gold braiding around the edges. Slippery appeared to have quite a thin face and a long thin aquiline nose. There was also an imperious look about him. There were thin pursed sneering lips. There was a jacket with a very high collar. He wore high white and blue striped trousers or britches along with a pair of long riding boots that appeared to be leather. This was set off by a large white lacy cravat. There was no mask. He was not about to 'stand and deliver'. He was quite the 'Regency Dandy', the 'Play Boy' of his age.
Percy and Humphrey saw him and both were pretty aghast.
"So that is him, 'Old Slippery'!", exclaimed Percy.
"It certainly appears to be", Humphrey replied.
Beryl added, "Aye he's back!"
She had an askance look and was far from impressed with his 'reappearance'.
The barmaids and barman were understandably pretty terrified.
"Aye, the lasses have brought him back." Beryl further remarked with a scowl on her face. She didn't seem at all phased by him, treating him just like another irritating customer.
Slippery's eyes seemed to be glancing over the young serving wenches in a fairly lascivious manner.
I tentatively went over and got my half-pint. Sid poured this out and we got into conversation.
"Yes, he has appeared from time to time over the years. It's the 'eye candy' that has done the trick this time. He can be quite active, It all depends."
Sid sighed.
"Sometimes he frightens away trade, sometimes more customers come along."
Sid went on to give a brief history of Right Hon Jake Horatio, Higginbottom'.
"So he could be bipolar?"
"He, he. Kind of Paul..."
"Beryl will only get angry if he drives away customers. He seems strangely alive at times and very aware."
"You mean the way he is looking at the young ladies?"
"Yes, considering how long he has been dead."
I sat down and looked at my watch. I will give it another 20 minutes. The pub ghost seemed to be fading and the rattling was dying down.
For some reason, I started to think about Sandra Smith. She was a 16-year-old schoolgirl, the school 'Goth'. She was always dressed in black. She had black hair and heavy black eye make up. Sandra had a hard time of it at school, Being 'girlie' was the norm. The ubiquitous pink was ever-present, in eyeliner and facial makeup. There was a constant battle between the redoubtable Deputy Head and most girls in fighting this scourge of pink. I found Sandra's black quite a relief. She also had an interest in the paranormal. Sandra had heard of the Bull Public House ghost as well. She had a boyfriend Kevin, a fully paid up nerd and ghost obsessive. He was a first-year student at University studying computing. I.T and the web. This was something they were both good at. Sandra knew of my stopovers at the Bull, well all the girls did. I also knew that they both had some specialized 'ghost detecting and recording' equipment. Maybe bring them along to the Bull with their equipment? I floated this idea in my head as a possibility.
Suitably relaxed I gazed up at the dull gray sky. I was looking forward to cooking Isabella a good meal and let her unwind. As I have stated, she was a senior gynecologist at the local hospital and dedicated, too dedicated at times. We had met at a social event and quickly got married. Isabella was from the Philippines. We got back there as often as we could. She missed her culture. Everyone is very sociable there. The land of karaoke and 'party parties'. Nothing like England in so many ways. The land where the net curtain is moved back and being too sociable is frowned upon. We had a social event lined up for Saturday with friends of hers from the hospital, mainly from the Philippines, nurses and some doctors. I wanted her to enjoy herself. She would always jump to fill a vacancy if they were short-staffed at her hospital. I told her to stop being so dedicated. They were growing too used to her helping out at the hospital.
I got into Samantha, I turned the ignition. There was a splutter followed by a grinding noise. Much playing with the choke and accelerator brought some kind of life into the engine. The car jumped forward a few times, then the revs settled down. Samantha's windscreen wipers flopped languidly across the windscreen spreading the muck evenly across the glass. It was true, Old Slippery seemed more alive than my old car. She got me home, just!
Chapter Three: Who are you going to call? Ghost Recorders!
It had been a pretty good and relaxing weekend. I had a long chat with Liz about the events and the reappearance of Old Slippery. She had at first joked that I had drunk too much. I mentioned I wanted Sandra and Kevin along to the pub. They could try to get some kind of image or video recording of the ghost. They could both go legally to the pub. Kevin being 18, could have a drink.
I found time on Monday to see Sandra and told her the proposition I had for her and Kevin to record Slippery Jake at the Bull. This would probably be on a Friday afternoon at the end of the school week. She was overjoyed and she sent a text across straight away to Kevin who also agreed. I told her that there was no guarantee that Old Slippery would appear. She said they would both take a chance on that. They would bring their special 'thermal' imaging equipment as well. This was a bit of a misnomer as this equipment was designed to pick up very low temperatures. This included a special video camera. There had been results elsewhere in the world but they had not proved conclusive enough for experts and skeptics to show ghosts existed.
A brief note on optics. The ghost could be caught or videoed on an ordinary, bog-standard, cell/mobile phone. These images were often too fuzzy and lacking in definition. The other oddity of this is that he could see his image reflected in a mirror. This should not be the case with ghosts. There was a large mirror, slightly to the left on the wall opposite his chair. As his appearances became more common, he often looked at this mirror reflection adoringly. To call him vain was a total understatement
So Friday afternoon came round again. The weather was still wet and maybe a touch colder. 'Samantha' got me to the Bull car park, just. I entered the Lounge Bar and saw that both Kevin and Sandra had already arrived. Lina had my pint ready.
"So she is one of your naughty schoolgirls? Does your wife know she is here?". Lina commented mischievously with a huge smirk.
"No Lina!" came my quick reply, "She is here with her boyfriend to 'record' Old Slippery"
"Oh", she retorted.
I smiled at her to calm her down and joined my two 'ghost recorders'.
"Do you see that old chair opposite?"
"Ah, that is Slippery's chair!" Sandra replied.
"From the Regency?"
I then gave them both a brief history of Old Slippery and the chair
"So Old Slippery was and still is a bit of a perv Sir?" Sandra asked.
'Call me Paul, here Sandra!"
"Okay Mr. Smith, Paul Sir."
"No. Simply Paul!"
"Ah, okay".
The barmaids and Beryl were listening in and loving all of this. Humphrey and Percy had just arrived otherwise the Lounge Bar was empty.
"Aye, Sir Paul we have your half waiting for youse!", Beryl shouted out.
Humphrey and Percy had a chortle as well.
"Paul here okay, Paul!"
Old habits die hard. There were years of conditioning to get over. However, Sandra managed in the end.
"To answer your question Sandra, Yes!."
"He liked the ladies back then apparently, and liked them still it seems."
"It could be these new barmaids that have brought him back."
"They are 'hot' Paul!"
Sandra said with a big smile.
"Okay Sandra, calm down. I am here to relax. I have 9C on a Friday afternoon."
"Oh, Candy, Tracey, and Beverly, the three bitches."
"Yes, Sandra, those three delightful young ladies! So I come here to relax. Then go home and get a meal ready for my wife."
"She's a gynecologist at the local hospital?"
"Yes, she is Sandra."
"Now you two get all your equipment ready discreetly. It is about now that the barmaids gives Old Slippery's chair a clean. This quite often wakes him up."
"The perv!" Sandra added!
"Yes, Sandra."
Whilst Sandra and Kevin busied themselves setting everything up, Percy and Humphrey decided to join us.
"Ah, one of your pupil's Paul?"
"Indeed Percy!"
I introduced Percy and Humphrey to Sandra and Kevin. They were both fascinated that they were two retired Majors and had served in Afghanistan.
"So young lady and young gentleman you are here on a recce, or do you expect results?" Percy inquired.
"Hopefully Sir" was Kevin's reply.
"Can I ask too Paul. Was this pub once a Tavern of a certain kind?"
"Yes Kevin, many Taverns and Inns then provided a wide range of entertainment shall we say."
"And Old Slippery lived here a bit like Toulouse-Lautrec?", Sandra asked?
"Well done Sandra, yes, kind of, only Toulouse-Lautrec lived in a full-on brothel."
Sandra was one of my Art History students. Like many others, she had a good memory for the more 'interesting' details. However, I had a bit of a go at her.
"Sandra, there was nothing romantic about prostitution then or now, anywhere in fact. Many young women and girls were driven to that through poverty. They often lived very short, sad, brutal lives."
"And STDs?" Sandra exclaimed.
"Syphilis was very common then, and there was no cure."
"There is a theory that the highwayman's behavior was down to him having advanced syphilis."
"I am no expert on this but the 'cures' were things like mercury or lead. This meant you died that much quicker basically."
Humphrey looked across at Kevin and Sandra.
"Be grateful you are alive now, both of you. Life in the past was a pretty much a 'rum do'."
"We are Major very much!" was their joint reply.
Chapter Four:
The Detective 'Inspectors' Join Us.
At this point, Detective Chief Inspector John Higgins joined us, along with James and Justin his two trainee detectives.
This was the first trip of the trainees to the Bull. Lina and Magda 'clocked' (noticed) the young detectives immediately. Magda managed to get to their table first. All of this had not escaped the notice of Beryl either. Hot, buff, fit, handsome, and especially young male customers were a rarity in the Lounge Bar at this time.
Time for 'chair cleaning' Beryl thought. Lina was sent to polish up Slippery's chair. Magda was given a job behind the bar. This was only a temporary measure as those girls would be back flirting around our table soon enough.
Meanwhile, I thought this was good news. Lina draped all over the 'chair'. This would soon wake Slippery up. Sure enough, he slowly started to emerge. He had on the three-cornered hat, the high cravat, the rich red jacket, and high britches. He nonchalantly sat back in 'his' chair with his legs crossed. He had that mischievous, lascivious smirk. His image was slightly shimmering. It seemed 'very cold'. He appeared pretty agitated, shifting constantly around on the chair. He was certainly aware of Lina. She jumped off the chair and scurried back to the bar. Both cats hissed and crouched flat under a radiator. Old Slippery was also taking a good look at Sid the barman and the Chief Inspector. There was almost something 'paternal' about his gaze. More on this later.
The Detective Chief Inspector and his two 'apprentices' looked across at the ghost with their mouths wide open. Where they seeing this? Sandra and Kevin started recording. Old Slippery seemed to be aware of the recording. There were no specialized video recording equipment around in the Regency. Experimentation in cameras and photography only really started to get going properly in the Victorian period. But there he was, looking into the camera lens, from his chair, preening himself, setting up a 'ghostie selfie' it seemed.
This degree of 'self-awareness' was also both shocking and inexplicable. Ghosts were supposed to wear white sheets or screech devilishly, not pose for a camera shot?
Sandra and Kevin played back their recordings. Yes, there he was, Old Slippery sitting on his 'throne'. You can see here clearly looking at Lina, then across to the landlord and the Detective Chief Inspector. He finished this off with his 'preening shot' into the video camera's lens. The image was very slightly fuzzy. The 'thermal' element was picking up the very cold readings that Old Slippery was giving off. There were many cool blues and pastel colours in this recording. However, the definition was good overall.
Both Sandra and Kevin were very pleased with their recordings. The problem now was what to do with them? The Detective Chief Inspector explained that caution, for the time being, was the best policy.
"Don't be in a hurry to plaster these videos and images all over the web of the ghost. In my experience, if the press gets to know about this they will be around here pretty quickly. They will go 'ape', crazy"
"It may be very good for your trade Sid having hordes of thirsty reporters and hacks. TV, newspapers, and all the rest steaming around here but this is not recommended in my experience in the long term."
"I will have to give this some thought and get back to all of you on this. So young Kevin and Sandra sit on this for now. Your day in the spotlight will soon come, but again this has to be managed."
"Hear hear" Percy added. "You don't want all those reporter Johnnies crawling all over this fine Lounge Bar?"
"Exactly Major." The Detective Chief Inspector replied.
I then had a text from Isabella. This was in reply to one I sent earlier explaining what had just happened.
I explained that my good wife would be joining me soon.
"Ah to keep an eye on you Sir….David?"
"No Sandra she is pretty curious as well. By the way, I have not been given a knighthood yet. My name is David, Sandra!"
Everybody laughed at this.
Old Slippery started to fade now. Maybe he wanted to slip back and have a bit of a rest in his dwellings down below?"