After that, Ramadan started and I decided that I
will start my new life in Islam with Ramadan.
Alhamdulillah (thank God), I made it successfully.
I started to offer prayer on the 4th of August. It was
very hard for me at the beginning because people
around me were not that practicing Muslims, so I
couldn't ask anyone.
I learned how to pray by myself from the Internet,
because no one showed me how to pray or how to
make wudu(ablution), or what invocation to say
before it or how to do ghusl (ritual cleansing of the
body) or what are the etiquettes and the rulings of
Islam.
Once I had a friend, and he made me really down.
He told me you will never understand Islam,
because you were not born as a Muslim. When I told
him I want to start fasting Ramadan, he said it is
not just about being hungry. At that time I was so
new to Islam, I had converted just a month before
he said that.
I got so scared, what if I will never learn how to
pray in Arabic? What if I don't do it the correct
way? And I didn't have hijab or a rug to pray on,
and I didn't get any help. So I had lots of fears.
But when I started to pray, I was thinking God must
be smiling on me now. Because I used to write down
the text of the ritual prayer on a paper and its
instructions, and I kept my papers in my right hand
and read loudly and then bow down and read again
and so on. I'm sure I was looking so funny. But
afterwards I succeeded to memorize it in the Arabic
language so then there was no problem.
Then I came to Facebook and got many new friends
and many sisters. From online sisters I got so much
love and courage. Then a Muslim man proposed to
me and he got me my first hijab and prayer rug and
an Islamic book. And I got my first Arabic Quran
from Jordan by post because we cannot buy it here.
Now it is more than a year that I wear hijab.