Yes, Hiroshi, head for the depot, me and the Huscarls will meet up with you as soon as we can. How do you get there? Oh good God man…"
Frustration and disbelief continued to build up in me as I was prevented from joining the huscarls at the gate because Thegn after Thegn kept calling me one after the other. It had to be one of the weirdest sights in the world, this well-armored man out of dark ages Europe screaming at the top of his lungs into a cellphone while a bunch of his companions were off fighting hordes of the undead…
Fuck. I really was living in a manga…
"It's to the north of you on the west side of the river. In fact, it'll be visible from the shore... You know what? Just call Yoshi and meet up somewhere half way. He knows where it is and you'll have better chances together anyways."
"Alright, head for the river, then keep going upstream until you're out into the burbs, then get to-"
"Got it, Old Man!"
"Hey! I'm only…"
Click
"Twenty-six" I finished lamely, shoving my phone into a pocket.
Now that I was finally able to give my boys my undivided attention, I took in their situation, and was damned impressed at how well they'd handled themselves.
Not a single one was slacking or out of position, they'd completely blocked off the broken gate and were efficiently slaying every single zombie coming at them, but I knew that they couldn't keep this up forever.
I could already see that they were beginning to tire. They still had energy to spare, but it was the little things. They were talking less, they were getting more and more red in the face, and they were fighting less with passion and more mechanically.
Sooner or later they'd start making mistakes and while they were well armored, their defenses were not absolutely perfect. If we were overrun we were dead, then everyone else would be too.
"They're not going to last." A female voice spoke up.
I snapped my head in the voice's direction, and there beside me was Saya Takagi, the one member of the canon crew I'd yet to interact outside of teaching. She was a brilliant student, acing every test, quiz or other assignment we put in front of her. What the hell was she doing here?
"Ms. Takagi, what the hell are you doing out here?" I barked. "It's not safe."
"And the rest of the school is?" she snapped. "There's a bunch of... of... I can't believe I'm actually saying this... Zombies trying to get into the school and eat our brains!"
"Well, moving towards them isn't exactly conductive to your health now, is it?" I remarked sarcastically.
She crossed her arms. "So, sensei, what's the big plan to stop them? Besides having Takashi-kun stand there and fight them while you make phone calls?"
"...Dammit… Alright, do you have any better ideas than mine? Because all I've got is jump in there with them until my reinforcements hopefully show up." Where the hell were they?
She blinked. "Reinforcements?"
I gestured at my equipment. "You think this is all I had squirreled away? No, I had spares and, hopefully, Ms Miyamoto managed to gather the armed martial arts clubs to my... well I guess I can say it now... secret armory I had in the school basement."
Saya stood silent for a moment and then facepalmed. "That has got to be the most idiotic, half-baked plan I've ever heard!"
"Hey!" I countered. "I didn't exactly expect for that idiot Ryushi to flip his shit and crash through the gate."
Before she could reply with yet more scathing commentary about my general competence I cut her off. "This is pointless... I'm arguing with a teenage girl... look, the boys aren't going to be able to keep this up forever, nor will the martial arts club members if or when they show up. We need something to get the pressure off of them so that we can set up a barricade to fix that damned gate. So unless you have any bright ideas I'd appreciate it if you'd zip it." I said that much more harshly than I'd intended.
Saya looked at me as if I were some kind of insect. "Thank you for the pep-talk, sensei. Your mastery of the obvious is humbling," Her eyes narrowed. "Now tell me everything you know about those things."
Glaring at the continued lip but letting it go in the face of Hordes of Goddamn Zombies, I gathered my thoughts. "Well, it takes a blow to the head to take them down though I guess dismemberment or-"
"Bullet points!" she exclaimed, going a little red in the face. "We don't have time for a lecture!"
"Alright! Alright!"
"Aim for the head. You get bit, you become one. They seem attracted to sound and heat. Seem to be blind. There, that short enough for ya!?"
"How fast are they? How individually intelligent are they?"
"Mindless shamblers," I replied drolly.
"Anything else?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Want a lecture?"
She glared for a moment and began to pace. "Alright. They're mindless individually but seem to gain a degree of hive intelligence as their numbers grow..."
She looked up. "Do they make sounds?"
"Nothing but groans and moans."
She frowned as she began to pace again. "Some form of subvocalization is possible, then. Explains the insect-like social behavior..."
"Is there anything else? Because I noticed that they seem rot real fast right after they die. I guess I could get a sample if you want?" I snarled at her.
"I fail to see how that's applicable," she muttered as she continued to pace, lost in thought.
"Is there a point to the twenty questions? Because if there is then I'd-"
Her head snapped up and she cut me off in a shrill tone. "Yes, I'm trying to think of a way to get them to stop swarming us!"
She threw back her head and then took a deep breath. And started staring into space. Or rather, staring at the parking lot.
"Sensei..."
"What? Do you have an idea?"
"Follow me."
I glanced back at the gate. "But-"
"Just come on!" She snapped.
"Alright already… yeesh, I'm just your damn teacher… not like I deserve a little respect…" I muttered under my breath.
"Are those gloves of your shock resistant?" she asked as she started off towards the parking lot in a full jog.
"Yes!" I bit back, before turning back to the boys. "Hold the line, boys! We've got a plan!"
"Got it, Sensei!"
Grumbling I ran after her, quickly meeting her at the parking lot.
"Okay, what's your plan?"
"We need to open one of these cars," she replied. "I need the horn and tool kit."
"And it'd take too long to run and get the keys… dammit..."
I glanced over and sighed. Well, considering that he was dead I doubted that he'd complain.
Striding over to Teshima's car, a nice Mitsubishi Lancer, I smashed the window and unlocked the door.
I'm sure he'd understand.
Almost frantically, Saya pushed past me and pulled the hood release.
Running around the front, she threw the car open and glanced over the engine. "Help me find the horn!"
"Got any ideas where to start?" I said as I tried to find something that might vaguely resemble a horn.
"Wait," she muttered to herself. "Hold on. Think. Alright. A horn would have to be located in an area with minimal blockage to get maximum sound..." she looked over at me. "Rip out the grille!"
I nodded and dug my axe into the grille and gave it a strong yank.
Thank God most were made out of plastic these days. It took a little bit of elbow grease but it came free. And there it they were, mounted right over the radiator. A small pair of speakers with wires coming out of their sides, each attached with a single bolt...
She was up and a flash and running back to the cab. She pulled the trunk release and glanced over. "Get the automotive toolkit!"
I sighed and walked around the back and opened the trunk.
It was mostly empty, though there were the standards. For example, the normal spare bottle of oil, jug of coolant, and some-such. There were also a couple shopping bags loaded with what looked like Shojo Manga of all things.
I blinked. Well. That's a thing. Can't account for taste but I'm not about to criticize the dead.
Pushing it all to the side, I pulled up the rug to get into the spare tire compartment, and there, sitting atop the tire was a small black box.
Opening it, I found that it was a simple hex set.
"Bingo!" I quickly shut it and brought it round to the front of the car. Quickly finding the right bit, I attached it to the wrenches and quickly began quickly unscrewing the bolts.
"Alright, now what?" I asked her. I heard a bunch of shouting from the front gate, some of them female… it seemed that Rei had brought reinforcements.
She looked up as she took the kit. "Did you see anything like duct tape or electrical tape back there? And give me a knife if you have one."
"I have one right here. Let me go check." I quickly pulled it from the loop on my belt I'd kept it, flipped it in my hand so that the blade was pointing at me then handed it to Saya, forcing down the expectation of a 'thank-you' from her I'd had hammered into my skull when I'd been in the Boy Scouts.
True to form, she took it without so much as a nod and got to work loosening the horns. "Find tape and some rope if you can manage it."
"I have some paracord."
"Give it."
I sighed and this time just dropped it next to her. If she couldn't be bothered to be polite, why bother?
"Anything else?"
"Get tape."
"On it." I moved back to the open trunk, apprehension building as I heard a few screams that may not have been battle-cries coming up from the gate.
Scrounging around, to my relief I found a roll of the black tape. Didn't recognize the brand but it was electrical tape alright.
"Here we go." I said as I began to walk around to find her on the ground in front of the car with the horns already out, carefully trying to strip the wires with the knife.
Without glancing up she held up the tool kit. "Get the battery out!"
She paused before adding. "And just use your axe to chop the leads off at the wire! I need them!"
"Ah, I see what you have planned," I said with a faint smile.
I quickly looked at the engine and frowned when I didn't see the battery. I didn't see it in the trunk so it probably had to be underneath all this plastic intake crap.
Normally, I'd have carefully removed it, but this was a dead man's car and it was being sacrificed upon the altar of the good of the school, so I simply chopped it out with my axe.
A good call because moments later I saw it, located under the intake held in by two bolts on a retention bracket.
As she said just to chop the wires off, I did so with two swift swings of my axe. A moment later I began to undo the two bolts holding the brackets.
I'll tell you now undoing bolts had never taken so long in my life.
Once it was free, I gritted my teeth and hefted it out.
Shit it was heavy. I hoped she had a plan for how to get the damned thing away from the school.
With a grunt, I placed it down next to her.
"I hope you have a plan on how to get this thing out of here..."
"Use the rope to sling it over the fence, and hopefully over the cliff on the other side of the road," she replied as she started taping the horns to the battery. "You can do that, right?"
"Yes I can. I'm more than strong enough for that." Now I realized why she'd insisted I come along.
"Good..." she paused. "How good are you with knots?"
"Passable."
"Better than me," she admitted as she began loosening the neutral lead. "Tie the rope."
"Got it." I quickly tied around the contraption with the paracord, having to concentrate for a moment to remember the appropriate knot for this sort of work. Thank God I'd spent the past year reinforcing everything I'd learned about survival in the scouts.
"Good," she cut in as she loosened the positive lead. Once it was free she wrapped the stripped wires from the horn around it then tapped it to the lead, making sure to hold onto the shielded section of wire.
It made a short but mighty honk.
"Good." she looked up and handed me the wrench. "Once we're to the wall, tighten it on and then throw it over.
"Alright, so, all that's left is to trigger and throw the damn thing. Let's head back, but Saya, you keep your distance, and keep that knife just in case."
"I don't think so!" she snapped. "I'm going to see this through to the end!"
"Fine, but don't get too close." I said, hefting the battery and running back towards the gates.
"No!" she exclaimed. "The point is to get them away from the gates, dumbass!"
As I changed course I looked back. "You really need to think about how you talk to your elders!"
"I'll apologize when we're not about to get eaten alive by... by... them!"
"No! Do n0t euphemize them, call them what they are: zombies." I said as I made for where the fence surrounding the periphery the school sat on was a bit lower. After I arrived, I made my way I gave the battery a few practice twirls then got to work.
The resulting sound was deafening, and it was through gritted teeth and strength of will that I was able to tighten it.
Fuck, I hope I didn't get hearing loss from this shit.
Scrambling back, I grabbed the rope and gave it as powerful a spin as I could physically manage.. Moments later it was sailing over the fence as hard as I could as I fell to the ground dizzy and near deaf.
It seems spinning around in a circle like a lunatic while having a car horn screaming in your ear does wonders for your equilibrium.
I smiled as I saw it go flying over the embankment on the other side of the road only to keep sounding loud as can be once it had come to a rest.
Fighting the urge to sit back and rest for a moment, and I'll admit, the vertigo originated urge to empty my stomach, I forced myself to my feet and towards the battle lines.
There I saw a battleline of students. My own boys holding the gate while the others opportunistically attacked the zombies though the bars of the wall's fence.
But more importantly, most of the zombies, those farther from the battle were starting to move on and slowly the tide became a trickle.
Forcing down the nausea to the best of my ability, I bellowed at the top of my lungs. "Keep it up! Only a little while longer!"
"Oh shit," I muttered as I began to stumble, only to find Saya Takagi grabbing hold of my arm to keep me stable.
"I apologize for being disrespectful, sensei," she said as she looked up to me. "But there was no time to be polite."
I nodded. "I get it. Just... be a bit more level headed next time."
She blinked and stammered. "Next time?"
"It's the end of the world, Takagi."
She went as pale as a sheet as her mind began to process the reality of the fact. "B-but the military has plans for things like this..."
"And if those plans were holding, do you think we'd have had zombies trying to eat the school?"
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Taking a couple more breaths she stood up. "Of course. This is no time to be excitable." She snorted and continued: "I'm assuming you have one of those 'Zombie Plans' that you Americans love so much?"
"No, I happened to have had enough weapons to supply an army in the basement just because."
It was a shame that I didn't have a camera phone, because the look she gave me was priceless and worthy of being recorded for future generations.
"Crazy foreigner." she muttered as she lead me to the others.
Once we were closer I took a step without her help and thankfully found that at least the bulk of the vertigo had passed. And my hearing was starting to clear up. Thank God.
During that time, the students had also managed to polish off the bulk of the remaining zombies. There were stragglers, of course, but the numbers were low enough that they could be dealt with individually rather than as part of a battleline.
"Great job, everyone," I said as I got close. "The decoy should buy us some time to come up with a plan."
"A plan to what?"
I turned about to find the deeply flushed face of Principal Yamada.
Gleep.
"I sincerely hope that you have an explanation for all of this, Brody-san," he said as his eyes looked over the dozens of armed students and the veritable mountain of corpses that sat at the entrance.
I open my mouth to respond, but almost as if taunting me, my phone rang.
My eye twitched for a moment and I simply gritted my teeth. "I need to answer this. It could very well be life or death."
"... Considering the situation, I will allow it."
I pulled out my phone and answered. "What is it, Daigo?"
"Holy shit is this some fucked up shit, boss..."
"I'm well aware of that."
"I've already lost three guys! Shit man, it's the end of the world!"
"I'm aware of that as well."
"Yeah, you're kind of on the ball about this crap. Anything I should need to know?"
"Don't let them bite you. They're blind. They're attracted to sound."
"Wish I'd know that first one earlier... shit, man."
"Listen, I don't want to sound like an asshole but I've got my own problems here."
"Oh. Yeah. Right. On my way to the rally point, boss."
"Good to know. Stay alive. Call me if you need to report anything else in. Brody out."
I clicked off the phone before he could go on. Daigo never knew when to shut up.
"I apologize, Principal Yamada..."
He took a deep breath. "From where I stand you have been smuggling weapons into my school."
He took a step forward.
Oh shit. I don't need this right now!
"You have been training the students to serve as your own private army..."
He took another step forward.
Shit, how do I explain to him that I had to do this? But how can I explain me knowing there was a zompocalypse coming?
"And you have somehow made more of a mockery of my authority and the integrity of this school than even Shido-san has ever managed."
He took another step forward bringing us face to face.
Well might as well take my lumps. I did lie to the man for a whole fucking year.
"And by doing so... you saved us all."
He bowed deeply at the waist. And it wasn't a little bow either. The man's torso went completely horizontal for a moment.
Shit, I'd never understand how the Japanese could fucking do that...
"You have my deepest and most sincere thanks."
In the wake of such unexpected gratitude it was only proper to respond with all the eloquence and diction I could muster. "Uuuuuuuhhh… Don't mention it?"
He began to laugh and shook his head. "You have a unique way with words, Brody-san."
Off to the side, I saw Saeko and Takashi approaching with Kouta, Rei, and Hisashi trailing them.
"You created a decoy to draw them off," Saeko observed. "The brilliance I'd expect of Brody-sensei."
"Great job, sensei!" Kouta chimed in.
"Ahem!" Saya coughed as she crossed her arms. "I'm the one who came up with it! He just provided the dumb muscle!"
Saeko blinked. "I see... It was... quick thinking."
"Where was that enthusiasm you had just a moment ago?" Takashi commented dryly. "But yeah, that was the kind of great idea that the smartest girl in school would come up with. She probably just saved us all."
Saya's cheeks were suddenly hit with a splash of red. "W-wait! I couldn't have done it if you weren't holding them back! I-I just did my part!"
Rei frowned. "We all did our part. Lets just leave it at that. Okay?"
"Such youthful enthusiasm!" Principal Yamada exclaimed, causing the the students to blush.
"Any losses?" I asked, looking at Saeko.
"No reported injuries, sensei."
I nodded. "Good."
"So, Brody-san," Yamada asked. "I am assuming you have a plan?"
"Yes. And it goes something like this..."