I am still here in parking lot sitting on the edge of the road. Thinking so deeply.
Do i need now to make a heart transplant. As Lika suggested. But what if there is someone who is really needing a transplant.
What do i do to take him away from me. What do i do to forget him. My mind tells me to forget him but my heart is so damn stupid.
Why i really need to love a someone who's already in love someone else. Why do i need to feel like I'm the most stupid person alive. Why do i need to feel this kind of shit broken hearted feeling.
It is just my first time to fall inlove, yet i fall for a man who already love someone else.
I wanted to laugh at my thoughts but my fucking tears is slowly releasing from my eyes.
It's this my karma. But why did i do wrong?
I'm just a bitch but I'm not a bad person. I'm just a human who make some mistakes sometimes. I'm not perfect. I maybe look perfect outside but, i felt empty in the inside.
I maybe rich but i felt lonely. So why the destiny doing this to me.? I am not destined to be happy? I am not destined to be loved? I am not destined to have a guy who will loce me till when our hair turns to white?.
I wiped away my tears. And stared at nowhere.
I felt someone sit beside me. I smell his scent. My heart beats faster again! My hopes begun to rise. This scent owned just him.
I slowly look at the person beside me and my hopes dies immediately, my heart begun aches. Instead of Zac i saw a young girl beggar beside me. She has her Zac jacket.
I smiled bitterly to the beggar and the beggar just stared at me.
"Are you hurt my lady? " the beggar suddenly asked. I just stared at her and did not notice that my tears poured down again.
I look away and just laugh. Instead of answering her..
"How did you get that jacket?" i asked her instead of answering
"The running man a while ago, my lady, when he saw me he gave his jacket to me and chase the girl running" she said staring at me.
I smile to what she said. He has a good heart. But my smile became bitter when i realised what she said.
"You loved that man my lady" the girl suddenly asked. No she didn't ask she said in statement.
I look again at her. Pain is written on my face. I smiled at her.
"You want to hear a funny story?" i asked and she nodded. I look away.
"You know when i first saw the man who gave you that jacket. I fell in love with him. I really fell in love. In just one second our eyes met. I fell deeper. And you know whats funny.?" i asked and look at her whose staring at me intently.
"I fell inlove with him in just one second and he fell in love with someone else a long time ago and love her still now"
"People always saying that when you fell in love it is the most wonderfull feeling you could ever feel but why? Why I'm in love yet hurting. I'm in love but this feels so much hurt? ." i sadly said
I felt her hands caressing my back. But i heard her sobbing. I look at her.
" Why whats wrong? "I alarming said but she cried even more.
" My husband cheating on me." the YOUNG girl suddenly ranted.
I was shocked. She is already married? Wow!... But why is she crying? I smiled bitterly at her and patted her back.
" You love him? " i asked her she immediately nodded.
"Then fight for him! You have all the rights to fight for him! He is your husband so fight for him if you really wanted him to stay by your side." i smiled at her and wipe away her tears.
She looks at me like I'm the most wonderful person alive.
"But he didn't love me anymore. His feelings for me is already waded." she smile sadly and a runaway tears coming from her syes.
I hold her both cheeks. Well she is pretty. I wipe her tears.
"Then you should let him go. If you really love him let him go. You need to sacrifice your happiness to be with him and just let him go to be happy. You actually don't deserve him! How dare him to cheat at you! Is he blind! Gosh you are pretty and kind. Maybe someday you will find your true man."
"The man who will stay whether you are bad or good, the man will love all of your imperfections, the man who understands you well, the man who can love you more than you deserve. Cause that's what you deserve. "
I smiled at her.
That's what I deserved too...