I just kept sitting there thinking about what had happened then I hear the bedroom door open Micheal walks in he's staring at both of us then he looks at Ashton more he tilts his head to the side and asks,
"Ashton, why do you have a boner?" I jump up and look at him his face is completely red I walk out of the room and step outside to hit a few cigarettes yes a few because of what just happened, how the hell can Ashton and Luke love me I gave up on love a long time ago and everyone knows that,
I mean it's not like I kissed him back I broke the kiss-off I mean it felt nice but it felt so fucking wrong I couldn't kiss back,
As I'm smoking my cigarette Michael, along with Luke comes outside and lights one up as well, he looks at me and asked "Why did Ashton have a boner?" Luke about choked on his cigarette smoke he looked at me with a weird broken look,
"Look I'm just going to cut to the chase before he tells everyone," I take a deep breath "Ashton found out I was self-harming again" "You what!" Luke yelled
"Luke shut up and let me fucking finish! He found out I was self-harming again he held me down and tried to make me promise not to do it ever again then we got into a yelling match while I was trying to get away and he ended up confessing his love to me he kissed me but I eventually turned away but I didn't kiss him back he let go of me when he heard the car doors he wants me to be with him and he said that Luke's in love with me too he said he can't see me being with anyone else he told me to think about it" as I got done talking Luke's faces was already red and filled with anger you could see it in his eyes,
He threw his cigarette on the ground and ran into the house he ran into the bedroom all you could hear is yelling and screaming I threw my cigarette on the ground as well and ran into the bedroom he and Ashton were fighting fuck I didn't want this to happen!
I run over and tried to get in between them both I felt one of them punch me in the face as I was interfering with their fighting, Ashton looked me dead in the eyes and immediately started apologizing I can hear Luke yelling and screaming at Ashton about how it isn't fair and all the while Ashton is still apologizing to me
"You both are acting like fucking kids you both need to grow up and stop this! This isn't appropriate!" I yell and stormed out of the house with the car keys I light up a cigarette before taking off in my car,
I was speeding through town trying to clear my head, I go to my spot where no one knows it's a little waterfall that you can walk on with a very old bridge it has locks on it where love bugs lock them and throw the key into the water I mean this is Ohio but we have that too
I'm smoking while sitting on the waterfall at least none of the boys know about this place I think they don't know about it
I left my phone at home because I don't want to be blown up by them I get up and start walking along the waterfall looking at the beautiful sunset I find a better spot to sit on the waterfall and just watch the sunset,
I can't take much more of anything right now I'm at my breaking point I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel and say fuck everything and Kill myself like why the hell not? I mean this world is a shitty place anyways the boys will move on and find someone else they don't need me I'm just here to pass the time until they go on tour again,
I keep thinking in my head about everything that's happened in my life, why did all of this happen it's ridiculous and doesn't make any since it feels like I'm in a movie or a book,
I just keep sitting in the same spot, I hear another car pull up and it's Luke how the fuck did he find me?
He gets out of the car and walks over to me, "This is a beautiful spot," "How the fuck did you find me?"
"The car has a GPS tracker on it" "What the fuck" I scuff and get up I start to walk to the other side of the waterfall to get away from Luke "Look I just want to be left alone right now"
"I understand that but we need to talk"
"Listen Luke leave me the hell alone give me my alone time!"
"Look Tara I honestly have loved you for a long time"
"Oh here we go again it's like something out of a fanfic on Wattpad"
"Tara listen, I have loved you for a very long time but I haven't said anything and the fact that Ashton knows that and pulled that shit today breaks everything we have together I'm highly pissed that he told you that I love you too"
"Listen Luke I'm not looking for anyone I gave up on love a long ass time ago and I'm not looking to go back because it all ends up with me being in heartbroken Ville so why would I fucking try again?"
Luke sighed and got onto the waterfall I scuffed and try to get further away from any further and I'm going to fall into the rapids
"Look the thing is all of us love you but we all can't have you that's the choice you have to make, I'm in love with you, Ashton is, Michael is but you're the one who makes the choice,"
I don't know why my heart skipped a beat when he said Michael loves me all I know is I'm not doing this shit,
"Luke stop okay I'm not making any choices I'm not going with anyone," I say then I just into the rapids,
I was struggling to keep afloat I was under the water and I heard Luke screaming at the top of his lungs,
I popped back up and was floating down the stream it's calmer here so I won't get swept back under I just stay afloat down the stream while Luke looks at me, hey I told him I wanted to be left alone.
I finally got done and started walking back to my car, it was completely dark outside I was freezing my teeth were chattering, I finally made it back to my car then realized my keys are gone fuck I left them in the grass but I didn't bring my phone for a flashlight,
I get down on my hands and knees and start feeling around in the grass, a few minutes later I find them and head to unlock the car I feel a body push against me and hold me there they covered my mouth while holding what I assume to be a gun to my head so I couldn't scream I started to panic,
"Give me all your money and the car and you'll live," the dude said, I recognize the dude's voice
It was deep and harsh he took his hand off of my mouth "give me all the money and the car now!" He yelled
I started laughing "If you're going to shoot me then fucking shoot me!" I yelled,
Just then a car pulled up with the headlights beaming I saw the dudes face that held me at gunpoint he had a massive scar over his cheek it was my brother Jason,
I head-butted Jason and got in my car I started backing up and took off,
I drove home still a bit shaken but yet with a thrill,
I walked into the trailer and everyone was staring at me I looked like a drowned rat I grab some clean clothes and take a shower,
I don't know what's next to come these next few days or weeks or months but lord help us all this is something straight out of a fanfic,
I get done with my shower and head to the bedroom everyone is in the bedroom I sigh and grab a blanket and pillow I head to the couch just then they all come out and ask me to sleep in the room I huff and head back into the room,
Shits got to change around here or I'm getting locked back up in the psych ward,
I lay down in my bed, Michael comes over to cuddle with me but I don't move I don't cuddle back I just lay there then I hear arguing because everyone else wanted to cuddle with me, fuck this shit,
"Shut the hell up and sleep! Michael sleeps in a different bed I'm not dealing with this shit!" I yelled
"Tara we need you to choose who you want"
"Luke now is not the time I'm pissed off I'm tired I don't want to talk to anyone I don't want to be touched I don't even want to be looked at right now"
"Tara please just pick me!" Ashton yelled
Boy, I was beyond pissed off, Luke had said Michael himself and Ashton loved me he didn't say anything about Calum loving me,
"You know what all of you shut the fuck up, Calum if you want to we can cuddle," Calum came over and cuddled with me which shocked me,
I slowly drifted off to sleep,
I woke up from people talking but I acted like I was still sleeping,
I could hear the boys saying how we should do this and a bunch of other shit honestly I don't want to be a part of any of it then I hear Calum say "Hey I love Tara too why didn't any of you tell her that?"
Oh boy here we go fucking straight out of a fanfic well I guess they never lied,
Anyways I was so done and over with all of this I sat up and the room went dead silent I crawled over Calum I grabbed my pillow and blanket and headed into the front bedroom which used to be the other boy's room but they never came back, I locked the bedroom door laid down and fell asleep.