****
It was an awfully hot evening, more even than usual. And, to make matters worse, the decades-old AC in my room decided to stop working. So, after an hour or so trying to figure out what was the deal with it, I just gave up and went to bed after a cold shower and with as little clothing as possible.
On the bedside table laid the small present package I bought with Maria for Carlos, as a token of gratitude. Because last week was so packed, I almost completely forgot about it, but like he usually does, when I least expect, that camera guy appears once again in some way or another.
That burning sensation in my chest... What was it? Still guilt for not having properly thanked him? I should just give this gift to him as soon as possible and forget about all this... I decided to do that first thing the next morning. I would search for Carlos' university journal room and leave the thank you gift there.
It took me quite some time to get to the university that morning. The heavy warm air gave way to a weeklong torrential rain that made life very hard for those that had to commute. Getting off the bus and pressing my bag against my chest, I ran toward the main building, under heavy rain, partially protected by a raincoat that didn't help as much as I'd hoped.
I headed to the west side of the building, as it was there where the journalism course gave most of its classes, although I was searching more specifically for the university Journal room.
As most classes of this course were given during the afternoon, the halls were mostly empty and quiet, but after asking a few people around, I was directed to a room on the upper side of the building, the last one to the left by the end of the hallway, supposedly the place where the university journal members gathered.
KNOCK KNOCK….
After waiting for a bit, I didn't receive a response, so I supposed it was empty.
"Excuse me, I'm entering…"
The place was deserted.
There is nobody here… Understandable, it is too early in the morning. And to be fair, I think I prefer it that way. I'm just gonna leave the present and this card addressed to Carlos and leave. No need for human interaction. I'm getting out as quickly as I can.
Well, that was the original plan, but as I searched for a place to put the present over, I couldn't help but notice and distract myself with the absurd number of piles and piles of journals, images, and the characteristic smell of newsprint that filled the air.
Curious how even a small news outlet like a university one can accumulate so much paper and junk. But, in the midst of all that confusion, a small pocket, on one of the corners of the room remained visually more organized. As I approached myself, I could see two shelves and a white desk, both of them packed with black picture frames, and all of them containing black and white photos.
Well, well, well, I'll be damned if this isn't Carlos' Desk…
As I checked some of the pictures displayed on the shelves, it was clear that they were very similar to those that I've seen before at home, when I held Carlos' photos on that incident some months ago. All of the photos were from people in different settings and landscapes. The overall gloomy feeling dominated them, exacerbated by the black and white.
Once again, a very interesting frame Carlos has chosen to take these photos. Like the ones before, I can feel empathy for those ahead of the camera…. Some really sensitive pictures. I hope he likes the one I bought for him...
I'll just leave the present here and leave the room as soon as possible….
"What do you think about it?"
Out of nowhere, I heard this voice coming from behind me, right in my neck. As I turned around, to my surprise, I could see no other than Carlos standing right next to me. That startled me really good and I lost my balance, making me fall and hit my head on the shelf behind me, which prompted one of the picture frames to fall on the top of my head.
It was…. Sloppy and embarrassing, to say the least...
"Ouch!!"
"Are you okay…?" - Carlos asked me while bending down to check on me.
"Y-yes, sorry. You just scared me a bit. A bit silent, huh?"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" - Almost immediately after that, Carlos on another unexpected move, reached for my hand and lifted me up,
"Th-thanks" - I retracted my hand as soon as I was back on my feet. He really doesn't seem to care about physical touch, as this is the second time he pulls off something like that while maintaining this poker face.
"So?"
"... So what?" - I responded, while trying to avoid his gaze fixed on me.
"The photos. What do you make of it?"
"What? Oh… Yes… The photos... Uh…. I think I like them?" - What sort of random question is this? - "It seems like I'm very close to the people portrayed in them."
"Really!? Do you really think so!?" - Carlos manifested an enthusiasm which I still haven't seen him express previously. It was very contrasting with his predominant boring and serious aura.
"Y-yes. I do" - I mumbled while trying to get the gist of the situation.
"Thank God!!!" - He raised his arm and released a sigh of relief- "You don't know how much work I've put into these photos. But my dumb grandma kept refusing to put them to compete on the next photo contest."
".... I don't think it is fair to call her dumb."
"She has been constantly criticizing and slashing on my photos. And the other dimwits of this room also didn't feel like the photos were worthy of being put into the contest."
"Dimwits?"
"So, I was starting to get a little bit worried that I was someone with a crazy and distorted taste in photography."
"That dramatic?"
"Oh yes, and you wouldn't know how much pressure I've been under these past few weeks."
"Right…."
"..."
I think Carlos realized that for a brief moment he went completely out of character and spoke his mind unrestrainedly but as soon as he calmed down a bit, a complete silence fell over the conversation; you could see that he seemed a bit embarrassed about it.
As I couldn't pick up on any of the topics he was mentioning, I wasn't able to push the conversation forward, but he decided to do it.
"Uh… I'm sorry" - Said Carlos, while scratching his head.
"D-don't mind, d-don't mind" - I responded.
"Anyway, Carlos… I was just passing by and remembered something that I had to give you…"
"Something for me?"
"Y-yes...Here…. For you!"- Embarrassed, blushing, and avoiding eye contact; I pulled the gift from my bag and handed it over to Carlos.
"O-oh, thanks. But what is this for?"
"Just a token of appreciation for what you did for me that day in the boat. Thank you f-for s-saving my life!"
"Oh, right…. I appreciate it, but anybody would have done that!"
"U-uh, I don't think so…. I mean, if it wasn't for you, I might have been 7 feet below ground right now."
"I guess.... Although I don't think I deserve this, thanks"- To be fair, Carlos seemed happier having received some light compliments than having received a gift.
"Well, I think that's it. I need to go now, see you" - Already feeling a bit uncomfortable with the situation I tried to rush out of the room in a hasty way.
"Wait!!" - But, with a quick move, Carlos grabbed my arm and halted me. He reaaaally didn't seem to mind physical contact.
"Y-yes, what is it?"
"I forgot to tell you something…. I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For yesterday. You know…. I was taking a series of photos of you for the journal and didn't realize that it was bothering you. I've only realized it the moment Lisa interrupted your presentation. I didn't mean to bother you, so, I am sorry"
"R-right, no problem. Thank you"- I said, while releasing my arm from his hand - "I at least want a good picture in the university journal, okay?"
"No problem!" - He said, while opening a smile for the first time since I've met him - "The model is pretty, so people will like it."
"..."
WHAAAAAAAAT!? What's happening?
Carlos remained still. He didn't move a muscle in his face, and that annoyed me, because I myself could imagine that mine was completely red. Besides physical contact, Carlos also didn't seem to mind eye contact, and maintained his eyes fixed on mine. I couldn't help but look the other way. Although that didn't help at all and I looked like a cornered bunny.
"Rest assured, Miyuki. Your photos will be put to good use..."- Said Carlos, while smiling again. Second time in such a short span of time.
"...W-w-what!? Put to good use? For what kind of use?"
Carlos scratched his head and answered
"Hum? I'm not following. For the University journal…...?"
"Oh…. Of course. I was just…. Confirming"
Christ, what am I thinking!?
"Right...."
After a strange exchange of words, Carlos released my arm and we said goodbye in a similar extremely awkward way, as I rushed to get home. I think I wasn't feeling very well that day and hoped that Carlos didn't think that I was just some crazy chick with no social skills at all. Was it awkward giving him a present out of the blue like that? He didn't seem to care for it that much, but it's not that he disliked it, so I can't figure what he thought about it.
Carlos is a puzzling character to say the least…
I hope that at least now I've put all of this behind me. I did what I had to do and said that I was grateful for him having saved my life, I think that's enough, right? Maybe I can now stop thinking about him and this whole situation….