****
CLICK!!!
Trying to maintain focus, I couldn't help but stutter more and more in my speech as the clacking sound of the camera continued to interrupt my train of thought.
It was a bit strange, as I don't think I'd normally be so annoyed and distracted by a noise as I had, had I been in another situation such as this. However... This time it felt like something bigger was watching me and I couldn't feel more pressured to deliver the utmost incredible speech and form.
I became weary of my posture and tried to maintain a straight back; I noticed my stutter and started overthinking about my English quality; as I was speaking, I noticed a dark spot of coffee on my lab coat, and also became weary of my appearance to the public.
To make a long story short, I got completely lost in my speech as I started losing focus and trying to concentrate on my external appearance. Babbling, skipping words, and trembling with nervousness, it got to a point where I went completely blank for almost a full minute.
"So… Uh…. This paper is kinda good, and…. Uh…"
"..."
"..."
"OKAAAY! I think that's all for the reporters today! Some people can get distressed with flashes; don't you guys think?" - At the moment when I was about to fall apart, Lisa, the committee council president, noticing how distracted I became because of Carlo's camera, intervened, and gave an indirect hint for him to stop taking photos of my presentation.
The students silently nodded their heads in agreement, and Carlos immediately caught Lisa's message and put away his camera, while also distancing himself from the crowd.
I carefully followed Carlos with my eyes as the others in the room waited for me to restart my speech, as Lisa whispered in my ears.
"Very well, Miyuki, I think you may now feel a bit more comfortable. You can start again when you wish."
"Thanks, Lisa!" - I took a deep breath, and began speaking to the public- "So… Back to the African Koalas..."
Slowly, but steadily, words started flowing out again and I was able to pass to the audience the message that we prepared for the last 24 hours or so and, in the end, we made it somehow.
As I ended my presentation, the other students around proceeded to applaud me, especially Maria, who whistled and embarrassingly shouted for my name in an embarrassing way. But to be fair, I wouldn't expect anything else from Maria, I liked her as a whole, including these silly parts, and she deeply cared for me.
That said, why did Carlo's camera make me feel so uneasy with myself? So anxious and aware of me…. What was that burning sensation I felt in my chest?
Returning to the guys, I was met with hugs and pats in my head, approving of my performance.
"Told ya!? That's my girl!" - Shouted Maria as she suffocated me in her chest.
"You did good, Kashiwagi-san! We are proud of you!"
"Yeah! And now… Maria. Give me back my cat!!"
"SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Ops
Yeah, there were still all the other groups yet to present and we were rightfully "shushed" for making too much noise. So, we sat down, a bit embarrassed for making a scene and waited for the passing of the next 3 hours till the end of the meeting. Relieved from not having to speak again, I took the time to relax and… Well... You know… Take that discreet nap.
Oh please, stop it, I'd bet you'd do the same if you were up for as long as we were!