****
Coming out of the street, as I opened the front gate of the apartment, to my surprise, at the steps that led to the front door, there she was, Maria. With her legs closed and resting her head on her arms, Maria looked at me and gave me a timid smile. She didn't seem as energetic as she normally is, but a bit gloomy.
"Hello there…" - She waved at me in a very melancholic way.
Something was off.
"Maria! I was so worried! You didn't show up to the paper discussion and didn't answer my messages. Were you here all this time?"
"Well…. Kinda, I'm sorry for my absence. We studied the whole night, but all of our efforts have been wasted."
"Oh, don't worry about that, Pr. Fukuda didn't seem angry with your absence, neither was I; it was just a bit strange. Do you want to come in? This is no place for you to be staying that long."
"I'd appreciate it. Thanks."
As we reached my room, I promptly prepared a coffee for us. For someone usually so loud and even borderline inconvenient sometimes, Maria was awkwardly silent. She kept her head down almost the whole time, and sighed two or three times, giving me the impression that she was very concerned and lost in thought. Her silence was louder than it seemed. I knew she wanted to discuss something.
"Do you want milk?"
"..." - She didn't respond.
"Maria" - I called out to her again.
"O-oh, sorry. No please, I'm fine with just the black coffee"
"Sugar?"
"Sure."
As I sat down, we didn't exchange any words for a good two minutes. The mood in the air was very awkward, something that I still hadn't felt while with Maria; she was a bright and cheerful person, it was uncharacteristic of her being that depressed. What could have happened!? As the silence perpetuated, I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable and increasingly worried for her. To break the silence, I tried some small talk.
"S-so…. Is your coffee enjoyable?"
"Y-yes, thank you."
"Ah! Do you also want some cake to eat with the coffee? I ordered from Colombo this week. It's the same cake I ate on Sunday when we met. The Pineapple one"- She just nodded her head in agreement as I got off the table to get a slice from the cake in my refrigerator.
The cake box was in the last refrigerator compartment, at the very bottom as it wasn't the most effective one, and with the extreme heat, I needed to put most of the more perishable food down there, as it was colder than at the top. Bending down, I picked up the beautifully designed pink box with both of my hands, when suddenly I heard:
"I have a troubling story with men….." - Maria finally spoke, as I turned my head to look at her. I didn't respond, as she went back to being silent for a few moments. I decided to give Maria time and wait for her to continue.
Holding the refrigerator door open, the venting sound of its fan filled the silence in the air, and its dim light directly illuminated Maria's face, darkened till now by her hair's shadow as she mostly kept her head down during this time.
"You know… Alberto… Alberto showed up in my life at a time when I was at my lowest point" - I closed the refrigerator and headed back to the table. Although she probably wouldn't want it, I brought the cake and some plates nonetheless.
"When I was a child… I… I … Well, it is something that very few people actually know but -" - She seemed extremely uncomfortable and nervous.
"Maria" - I interrupted - "It's okay if you don't want to talk about something uncomfortable. But know that I'll be all ears to you if you want" - After all, I don't want to meddle in other people's affairs without right…
"No! I want to! Actually, I must… We have known each other for no more than a week but I feel like I can trust you. You are a very gentle and kind person, so please, hear me out, it is for myself."
"Okay."
"I used to live in another state" - She proceeded - "I am actually from the northeast region of Brazil, and all my life up until high school I lived there. My family didn't have much money, so both my grandparents and uncles lived together with us. It was packed, but we were a happy family, and although we didn't have much, nothing was ever missing at home. But…" - She broke eye contact and looked away.
"There was an uncle that was kind of the black sheep of the family. He wasn't married, didn't have a stable job, had drinking problems, and was often very inconvenient at dinner and celebrations. I myself didn't like him that much, but at the same time, I was also probably the niece that talked with him the most. You know, since an early age I was a very curious person and decided to become a scientist even as a child, but my family didn't support me that much at the time. My uncle was the only one who said I should aspire to be whatever I'd want to become, so we got a little bit closer."
"He was actually the first one who took me to a museum, the natural science museum from the biggest city of the region. It wasn't such a big museum but it was enough for me to get very excited and to be the only child in our family that didn't criticize or openly avoid my uncle."
"One time, however" - Maria paused and brought both of her hands together, starting to play with her fingers - "My uncle arrived very late at home, completely drunk, he even broke some vases on the way in. The thing is, it was summertime, and my family took a trip to the nearby town for some change. I decided to stay at home, as I was preparing for the high school entrance exams and was aiming to gain a scholarship in one of the top schools in the state. But my uncle decided to stay too, since he didn't get along with my parents very well. Because of relationship issues with my grandfather, he was addicted to alcohol, and created some big scenes sometimes which only damaged even more of his image in the family. Although I despised that attitude, I was the only one who tried to see the good in him and ignored all the arguing and brawls that went along in our house concerning our uncle."
"But that night, things went from bad to worse. Startled by the sound, I rushed downstairs to investigate what was the source of the loud noise. As I reached the front entrance, my uncle was on the floor, completely drunk. He ended up breaking some vases in the entrance, and was totally wasted, while holding one bottle of alcohol that surprisingly didn't break in the fall; ironic, right? It wasn't the first time he had arrived drunk at home, but I had never had to deal with it alone, generally it was my father or my other uncle who dealt with him, and it wasn't uncommon for him to sleep outside as sometimes he'd get home so late that the family wasn't willing to let him enter in such a poor mental state drunk."
"He was already sleeping, so I tried to carry him over to his bed. Because of the weight, I had to drag him along the floor and made a tremendous effort to lift him up to the bed, to the point that I lost my breath. However..." - She started to lightly shake.
"... As soon as I let him go, unaware that he was awake, he suddenly grabbed my arm and pushed me over him. At first, I didn't sense anything, as he was really drunk, and it wasn't unusual for him to be annoying when in this state. But he didn't let me go. As I tried to get off him, shaking hard, he firmed his grip and pulled me even closer to him. That's when I started to get worried. The more I tried to shake him away the tighter he held me, and soon, he tried to forcefully turn me around. I finally realized what was happening, and I screamed for him to stop, but he didn't…"
"Maria…" - I also started to shake and tried to comfort her by putting my hand on her forearm, but she retracted it.
"It was a fear that I've never felt before and after and I was desperate to get out of that situation."
"While vigorously holding me down, he tried to rip my clothes, but, thankfully, in the midst of the confusion, he let out the pressure for a moment and I was able to kick him right in the face. The impact was enough to break his nose, as it started bleeding heavily and my uncle started screaming in pain. I took the opportunity and ran away from the house, crying out loud. "
"I must have ran for some good 20 minutes before finding myself in an empty alley, behind a fruit shop from the neighbor. I hid there and cried for 2 hours straight before the neighbor found me. He was kind and kept me in his house for the night, as I explained the whole situation to him."
"I was 14 at that time."
"Jesus, Maria…"
Looking down for a moment, I could see the cake over the plate almost completely melted. It was possible to see the cream dripping and the previously firm form of the slice becoming something bizarre and distorted, falling over its own weight.
"That event tore our family apart… My dad beat the shit out of my uncle, and my grandparents decided to move away to another state after that, and I myself was so scared of being in that house that I moved away to Rio, trying to study here. Although much time has passed, to this day I feel extremely guilty of what has happened, like I was the cause of the division of my family. A corrosive and disrupting guilt."
"At Rio, the next three years of high school were like hell to me. Even still far away from my family, I still felt that I was causing them trouble. Not sleeping well, anxiety issues, and problems creating friends. I even had two relationships, but they ended quickly and in utter disaster."
"Hopeless, and with no apparent future in front of me, I thought I was going through a dark path, past the point of no return."
"That's when...." - Maria picked the spoon I gave her to eat the cake and started to reform the now oddly shaped cake into something a bit more presentable. Starting by the edges, putting up the melted chantilly again over it, and piecing together what had fallen.
".... I met Alberto, and things began to change."