"But you know, I realized something." He said out of nowhere with his usual cold voice.
"What is it?" I asked and interest was detectable on my voice too, same with my facial expression.
"I realized that from now on, if I will have a chance to love again, that I was the one that she needed for me to be enough, in short I'll date the right person for me already. Because like what you said, you'll never be enough to the wrong person right?"
He uttered and he glanced at me like he was already catching or finding out what I was pointing out earlier.
"Yes," I said and I sighed as the cold breeze touched my skin again like yesterday at the resort. It was kinda getting cold since it was already 'Ber' months.
"And I realized that It was needed for me to be that person's choice and she was not forced or you know, the natural flow of love and relationship? Cause if you love someone, you sure both of you truly love each other, both of you imagined each other that you are still together in the future days, months, years and even decades, don't just date because you are bored because it will lead you to danger."
He said with a bitter tone as he chuckled humorously while still sitting on this sofa with me. I wonder where our Buz is, already? Was school really stressing him that much?
I sighed at that thought, both of my older brothers are being tried reaching their goals and even though Buz will not voice it out to us straightforwardly, I knew that maybe something is up to him too.
"Both of you must be the ideal person that you wanted and will cherish for a lifetime and oh yeah!"
He shouted like he remembered something, maybe the effects of alcohol were already occupying his system again that is why.
"Hmmm?" I said as I watched him.
"Don't ever try to love someone if you are not still over with the previous person you had , I mean don't use others just to move on and try to make the pain go away just by knowing you know using them to make you feel better. They are not relievers to make the pain fade away."
He said and he laughed again then he drank from the wine bottle he is holding and I know already what he is talking about, this is regarding Ely's that she's done according to what he said earlier.
"You mean, don't include or join them to your misery?" I asked for him to know that I get every word he is saying.
"Exactly!" He exclaimed as he smiled at me. "Choose the one who is already sure to you, the one who is sure of the feelings he has to you."
He stated with his convincing voice as if he is advising me and I nodded at him as he continued to speak again, good thing that his mind was still open for talks like this and he is not selfish in talking about things.
"Remember this our little girl, if you will fall in love and will love in the near future," he said and he was moving his finger from his right hand.
"Make sure that you are his or her ideal, " he said and I almost laughed when he used the two words to describe genders, he is really open on LGBT matters and I don't know about this.
"Make sure that you are the one the one that his or she finds and aching for, you are his or her love." He said again like is classifying things.
"And have an assurance too that his or her past was not chasing him for you to avoid pain or heartbreaks."
He said and he shook his head, but I slightly disagree on the part where he said on avoiding pain or sort of heartbreaks.
We all knew that even what we will do, that feeling will always have us, will always visits us in different ways because we can't avoid it especially if it is already destined for us to feel pain or heartbreak, but well not just only in a romantic way but we can feel it from the society's judgement, friendship, betrayal or any thing that can be source of pain, physically or emotionally.
"Do that for me huh?" He said and I nodded and stared at him softly. "Don't look stupid or fool if you experienced pain some day, just because you are loving a person who is loving another person too. Don't be a blind just because of uninsured love and I guess don't ever knelt on somebody because you really love them, use your brain baby, still show dominance if they hurt you okay?"
And I nodded again and answered him, "Yeah, you can count on me." And he smiled and I hugged him which he hugged me back too before I continued to talk.
"Thank you for the advice too Cap. " I said as he let me go from his embrace, as time passed by, I'm getting used on calling him Captain or Cap even that was started only when I am teasing him when he is eyeing a Pilot when I was a kid and they are teen agers with Buz, and I even called him pervert when he glanced to the Flight attendants and I told him back then, "Go be a Captain of airplanes so you can have a Stewardess model."
I teased because his eyes are dancing everytime he witnesses how the airplane do it's take off and landing but I don't know that he is really serious about being a pilot when he was a teenager with the 'on the process' engineer of mine named Buzz.
Engineering right? Oh they will share with Xian in the same field. But why the hell that jerk visited my mind again?
"They said that love is the twin of pain, so yeah if you embrace love, then there is a big possibility that you will kiss the pain too. Like what you have experienced, you loved her, but she caused you pain too." I said and sympathy was visible on my voice and he sighed on it.
"Also, learned to communicate, you are being self centered again. You always forgot that you have family do you?" I asked with a teasing tone and he chuckled.
"And aren't those words like a warning too in the future if I'll go love someone and date him or whatsoever?" I asked while I gestured my hands waving and he smiled.
"Yeah, consider them as a warning. Don't be like me who was fooled okay?" He said and I can't avoid to not slightly disagree with him because I was not the one who was holding my destiny and it is difficult to spear which I am not sure about.
"I'll try," I said and he raised his right eyebrow upon me.
"Okay then, and I will try to talk to you guys if something is up." He said after and he smiled a little.
"Good, always remember that if the world turns its back on you, you will still have me supporting you old coot." I teased him again trying to lift up the ambiance we had and I am hoping for him to feel better already.
"I know," he said cockiny and proudness were audible in his voice. So much for me who was surrounded by people with a typhoon wind manner.
"And that is because," I said and I was now the one who was raising my right eyebrow.
"I knew that you'll never leave me because of you," he said as he pointed at me and I frowned at my forehead. "Because you love me that much!" He said in a loud voice and we both laughed because that was true. I love them with Buz like how they loved me too.
He is full on himself huh, silence surrounded ys as he still continued to drink from the alcohol he has been drinking since earlier.
"You are torturing your own liver aren't you?" I said to him and he gazed at me and chuckled.
"I haven't drunk wine or alcohol for a long time, Lady boss," he said and I chuckled how he called me. "I was too busy in managing the company and in the flying school which I was nearly done in there since you knew, airlines, airports, airplanes, what is your brother's ambition right?" He said and I nodded before I spoke.
"And your friends don't have an open schedule for you to have a drinking session too, and Buz is too busy on his uh what is that again?" I uttered as I was thinking what is the term for that Buz's stressor. "Uh On the job training and thesis of him?" I asked when I finally remembered it.
"Absolutely, and he is busy with girls too." He said and his act was trying to back stabbed our brother and make dirt on the image of Buz from me.
"Hey! I just got home and I was worried about you then this is what I'll hear?" a voice came out and he looked annoyed as he closed the door of Lick's room as he walked near us and since my two brothers are here already I shouted, "Group hugged!"